Category: Internet Ephemera

Holy Calamity, Scream Insanity

Herp Derp Particle

The HerpDerpParticle Twitter feed is one of those things that first makes you laugh, and then makes you weep for the future of humanity. It does nothing but retweet insane twitter posts about the probable discovery of the Higgs Boson, which can mostly be categorised into three types…

1: Liberal atheist European scientists have found the God Particle, thus proving that God exists and hoisting the evil, science-worshiping, communist, agnostic, atheist, anti-American, Darwinist, liberal, gay, Muslim, perverts by their own petard.

2: Liberal atheist European scientists found the God Particle on July 4th, thus proving for all time that God loves America more than any other nation on Earth and condemning all evil, science-worshiping, communist, agnostic, atheist, Darwinist, liberal, gay, Muslim perverts to Hell for electing Barrack Obama.

3: All science is an evil, communist, agnostic, atheist, Darwinist, liberal, Anti-American, gay, Muslim, pervert plot and all the truth you ever need is in the Bible.

It’s this kind of thing that makes me reconsider living on this planet.

Later: But this cheers me right up 🙂

Lovely Spam

Enhance your Ewactwy Wo-um!

I’ve been getting quite a few spam comments on the Wyrmlog lately – which isn’t any kind of problem because my filters catch them all. I’ve usually been ignoring the contents but one today included a link to a YouTube video, which I decided to check out just for laughs (after all, what harm can a YouTube link do to your system?)

It turned out to be a video of a strongly accented man staring into the camera and talking about how great a particular brand of – shall we say – “enhancement” pills are, and how they increase “ewactwy wo-um”. Apparently other enhancement pills have all kinds of side effects, but these ones are side effect free, and have a really impressive effect on one’s ability to “ewactwate” – if that’s actually the kind of thing that particularly concerns one.

It was quite amusing, but I’m not going to reward spammy behaviour with a link.

Norrilund

Were it not a violation of God’s law I’d marry this map…

Map of Norrilund (Big PDF file Warning!)

It’s a genius steampunk remix of London by one “Handsome Rob” and is so rich in detail and language that it feels like somewhere you could actually visit. If I could produce just one conworld artifact as good as this, I’d die a happy man.

Good show sir! Jolly good show!

My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles

By which I actually mean my favourite blogs, webcomics, etcetera. It’s been a while so I thought an update might be in order…

Blogs
Boing Boing – The grandaddy of all ‘random cool stuff ‘ blogs. Be sure to check out the submitterator for upcoming random cool stuff (and – depending on how well the spam filter’s working – promotional articles about public injury lawyers in Toad Suck Oklahoma).
Warren Ellis – They call him “Internet Jesus”.
Hyperbole and a Half – Rarely updated recently for various reasons, but wonderful. The tale of moving the dogs cross-country made me laugh so hard I almost passed out (literally).
Strange Maps – Exactly what it says on the tin.
Building Blog – Urban speculation and wild flights of fancy
The Worst of Perth – Everything that’s wrong with our fair city.
Not Always Right – Insane customer service stories.
Lamebook – I don’t have a Facebook account. This is one of the reasons why.
Regretsy – Fat, jealous losers critique the astonishing garbage and mass produced  crap people attempt to sell through ‘crafting’ site Etsy.
Studies in Crap – The finest in forgotten and bewildering crap.

Comics
Bad Machinery – Continuing strange goings on in the Midlands town of Tackleford. The current plot involves selkies (one of my favourite types of mythical beasts…)
Gunnerkrigg Court – Continuing strange goings on in a very unusual school.
Dresden Codak – Transhumanism, cyborgs and amazing artwork. An Ayn Rand analogue has just shown up, which should be… interesting.
Romantically Apocalyptic – Post-nuclear madness and (more) amazing  artwork. You shall obey Zee Captain!
XKCD – Wonderful geekiness.
Girl Genius – Ongoing gaslight fantasy adventures (don’t call it steampunk! They don’t like it!)
Wondermark – Recycling Victoriana into surrealism. Tusky McMammoth is my favourite.
Subnormality – Observations on the human condition. And Sphinxes.
Scandinavia and the World – What if countries were people? Stupid people?

There you go. That should keep y’all occupied.

Me China Mel Dancin’

My good friend Mel is dancing…

Doo-doo-doo-doo,
Yeah yeah yeah yeah-eah,

Yemen and his Igor photo me,
I’m on the phone, yous can each foresee,
Cool me down,
Rinse a mouse in front of me,
(front of me)
So that’s the way I felt then wa-ah-ah,
So we can eat a Hilton, la la la,
You’re so mean,
See there the melody,

Oh-wow-o-wow-ow,

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,

Me I’m flocking home giving up for stoats,
As I’m coming down I slip the ropes,
Cool me down,
The TARDIS taking over yeah,
(oh-wow-ow-wow-ow)
So that’s the way I felt then, wa-ah-ah,
So we can eat a Hilton, la-la-la,
You’re so mean,
See there the melody,

So come on,
Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow,
Oo-oo-oo-wow-o-wow-ow-ow,

So come on,
Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’

Dance on the oars,
Cat fight in a handbag,
Yours, only yours,
A walrus tickle dance bed,
It’s no lie,
Lisa in the crown said,
Meh, anyhow,
Me china Mel dancin’