Hark! A Well Employed and Housed Gentleman:

Title: “SWEDISH”

Panel 1: A Victorian gentleman in a cape and top hat is walking up the steps of a well-to-do house in foggy olde London Town.

Panel 2: Now inside, the gentleman speaks – somewhat furtively – to a well dressed young man while several elaborately dressed ladies lounge about provocatively.

      Gentleman: I believe you offer… Swedish
      Young Man: That is a service we can provide sir. If the price is right…

Panel 3: The gentleman – with a look of unseemly eagerness – pulls out his billfold.

      Gentleman: Money is no object!

Panel 4: The young man accepts a wad of cash and calls over one of the well dressed ladies.

      Young Man: Maria, please see this gentleman to a room. He requires… Swedish
      Maria: Of course. This way please, sir.

Panel 5: The Gentleman is in bed, with the blankets pulled up under his chin, a nightcap on his head and a look of childish delight on his face. Maria – fully clothed – is sitting on a chair reading from a child’s picture book.

       Maria: En gång i tiden fanns det tre små grisar


(Apologies to Kate Beaton)

Just be glad I don’t drink…

Burger King, Burger King,
Does whatever a Burger King does,
Spins a web, any size,
Catches thieves at Burger King,
Look out, he’s a Burger King,

Is he strong, Burger King?
He’s got radioactive blood,
Can he swing, from a web?
Take a look at Burger King,
Look out, he’s a Burger King,

In the chill of night,
At the scene of a crime,
Like a beam of light,
He arrives at Burger King,

Burger King, Burger King,
Friendly radio Burger King,
Wealth and fame, listen Bud,
Burger King is his reward,
To him, life is a just like flies up,
Overhead just in time Bud,
You’ll find the Burger King!

Do You Believe in Life After Frud?

Channel 10 News should really take a look at their closed captioning.

While I’ll happily support “Family Frud” taking over from the banal and pointless Family Feud any day, I’m not so sure about tomorrow’s predicted “60% chance of a Cher or two”.

I mean, one would be bad enough…

No More

Apparently someone with an axe to grind has been distributing poorly photocopied duplicates of Pauline Hanson’s “No More” Facebook image to mailboxes in the northern suburbs (I won’t link to it, I’m not giving her the page views).

While at first glance one might agree with an image of Pauline and the giant words “NO MORE”, it goes on to clarify that what she wants is no more Mosques, Sharia Law, Halal Certification and Muslim refugees, and then reminds the reader that she’s standing for election to the Senate for Queensland in 2016.

Putting aside the fact that you can’t, logically, have less Sharia law when your country has no Sharia law to begin with, it seems to have escaped the notice of whoever’s distributing these things that people in Darch – and indeed people in the roughly 76% of the country that isn’t Queensland – are completely unable to vote for Queensland’s Senators. But then, anyone who’d consider voting for Pauline is not the sharpest tool in the shed to being with, so maybe we can give them a pass.

Bonus Content! Let’s all take a moment to remember Pauline’s fellow traveler on the loony right Jackie Lambie’s wonderfully incisive definition of Sharia Law…

“Well, I think, um, when it comes to, um, Sharia, Sharia law, um, you know, to me, it’s um, it’s, uhh, it, it, obviously involves terrorism”

Brilliant! Just brilliant!


Enter the Myrka!

Feel like I’ve been in a kind of holding pattern of late. All sorts of things I should be doing, but just lacking the energy or motivation to do them. I start every weekend thinking of things I’m going to get done, and then realise it’s Sunday evening and I’ve achieved none of them. And this isn’t even stressing me out really, I just feel kind of vaguely disappointed…

Anyway, I’ve been meaning to make a blog entry for several weeks. So here I am. It won’t be particularly long, or interesting, but I figure it’ll shift a little of the inertia, which has to be a good thing.

Dr Who. The new series has launched, and I’m quite impressed. In particular by Michelle Gomez as the Master (I find calling her ‘Missy’ annoying. Deal with it). I didn’t really like her in the last season, she didn’t seem to have much depth, but in the latest two episodes – when we got to see her doing more than just running around and being eccentric – she’s fantastic! There were scenes when she was practically channeling Roger Delgado, but without doing anything as crass as an impersonation. That bit where she almost talked the Doctor into killing Clara – without even batting an eyelid – downright chilling! Well done!

And the story was pretty damn good too. Going back to the origins of Davros – that’s a massive risk but I think it paid off. They even managed to make the guy seem sympathetic (for a while at least!).

Not that it was perfect. Colony Sarf, what was he (they?) about? What’s the connection between Daleks and snakes? And the sonic sunglasses? I hope they lose those pretty soon. And the roll call of locations from the last couple of seasons – the universe is vast, why do we keep coming back to the same damn space bar with the same damn species hanging round in it? I did think the Hand Mines were pretty dumb, but then I realised they might be the distant ancestors of those sensors that showed up in Asylum of the Daleks, so they get a pass.

In any case, I’m quite looking forwards to tonight’s episode. Seems to be set in a seabase. I wonder if the Myrka will put in appearance?

That’s it! You can go!

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