Category: News and Events

Chinese Zookeepers Baffled by Perfectly Ordinary Cuscus

Cuscuscuscuscus

A furry orange-and brown spotted critter with protruding red eyes is baffling zookeepers in China after it was handed in to them by an anonymous man.

Zookeepers from the city of Wenling have not been able to identify the creature and now believe they may have stumbled across a new type of monkey or possum, Daily Mail reports.

It’s a freaking Cuscus! And they call themselves zoologists?!

Monster

Deeper and Down

REM have decided to break up, my dinner last night was tube pasta seasoned with the dust from the bottom of a parmesan cheese container, and I’ve been sent a bill for hundreds of dollars worth of electrical work that I’m fairly sure doesn’t exist (unless someone broke in and installed a smoke alarm where I can’t see it).

This is probably not going to be a good day…

Underbelly Maylands

Murders in Maylands

The trains were running late this morning and the one I was on was halted for quite some time at Maylands station while a pair of cops searched it up and down.

Turns out there’s been a double murder just near the station and the whole area is completely locked down. The cops were looking to see if the alleged killer was trying to escape via the rails.

Scary stuff! Not to mention the that I was late for work!

(What’s the odds that there’s Bikie involvement?)

London Burning, Leicester Pretty Much OK

I am of course keeping an eye on the situation in the UK. It’s pretty awful, but so far things seem to have been relatively calm (although ringed with incidents) in Edmonton where my uncle is and in Leicester, where the worst seems to have been a bunch of hoodied idiots running around smashing windows in the city centre until the police scattered them.

Hopefully this will blow over once the worst troublemakers are apprehended and the rest of the tag-along idiots sober up. It won’t address the complicated social issues that are the root cause, but at least it should restore order for the time being.

To everyone in the UK – not just my family and friends – the world’s thoughts are with you.

Why I Laugh?

I have no truck with the Gregorian Calendar!

I was wondering this morning where my Census form is, and speculating on whether the Government believes that I actually exist.

My coworkers pointed out that the Census is on August 9th.

I maintained my stance of puzzlement over where my Census form is, and wondered how I was to fill it out tonight if they didn’t sent me one.

My coworkers pointed out that today is August 2nd.

Oh, how we laughed!

Time to buy a lottery ticket!

Wish that dream about Kelly Clarkson would come true…

Dreamt that I was caught in an earthquake last night. Woke up to discover there’d been one in Melbourne.

I’ve obviously become psychic!

(Now if only that dream about Kelly Clarkson would come true…)

U’m Raptured uz Bro!

Go Tell it to the Whales

Last week there was a bit of a stir in the local media over a whale caught in fishing lines off Rottnest island. A rescue attempt was launched, but had to be abandoned due to oncoming storms. They did however manage to get a GPS tag attached to the lines so they could go back and free the whale later.

They finally got around to it yesterday (or was it the day before? I forget…). They got the rescue team together and headed out in boats to track  down the tag. They found it alright, still attached to the tangle of lines, but there was no whale!

The media are all saying that the whale managed to free itself. But, what if that’s not the case? What if the whale was raptured!?

C’mon, you (and Harold Camping) know that it makes sense! ;D

And on the subject of good ol’ Harold, he’s announced that the rapture that didn’t happen on Saturday did happen, it’s just that it was a mystical/spiritual thing rather than a physical thing, and the world is still going to end in October. Yeah, you just keep on truckin’ Harold!

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