Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind.
So, it’s 20 years today since the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind.
Nirvana were a good band and all, but please try and remember that the Pixies did everything that Nirvana did first, and with lyrics about sea monkeys.
Bob Marley? Seriously?
Emotional Bag Check seems like a really cool idea, but the level of musical knowledge displayed by the top 25 list of recommended songs listed on PerthNow is just appalling!
BOB MARLEY DID NOT SING DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY YOU PHILISTINES!!!!
It’s by Bobby McFerrin and was released in 1988 – SEVEN YEARS AFTER MARLEY DIED!!!
Not every singer with a deep voice and Jamaican accent is Bob Marley, for crying out loud!!
Similarly songs number 5 (Three Little Birds) and number 23 (Everything’s Gonna Be Alright) are the same freakin’ song! Unless of course by Everything’s Gonna Be Alright they actually mean No Woman, No Cry.
I don’t own a single Bob Marley album and I know this stuff. Sheeze!
Well at least I can take comfort in the fact that a song from A Very Potter Musical makes it onto the list – although I can’t really discount the possibility that this is only because Darren Criss is on Glee now…
Max Brooks sees all
I just figured it out. REM is breaking up so Michael Stipe can get into training to kill zombies.
Deeper and Down
REM have decided to break up, my dinner last night was tube pasta seasoned with the dust from the bottom of a parmesan cheese container, and I’ve been sent a bill for hundreds of dollars worth of electrical work that I’m fairly sure doesn’t exist (unless someone broke in and installed a smoke alarm where I can’t see it).
This is probably not going to be a good day…
The recipe for egg fried lice
And here are the lyrics to yesterday’s discovery…
Stump – Charlton Heston
The pyramids were in construction,
The Pharaoh glowed with satisfaction,
But then to his immense surprise,
His empire fell before his eyes,
A hundred thousand busy slaves,
Downed their tools and stood and stared,
The Red Sea walls stood like a canyon,
The Pharaoh pulled up in his wagon,
And saw within those walls of glass,
A herd of whales go racing past,
A hundred thousand fishy tales,
Crossed his mind about the day…
…that Charlton Heston put his vest on,
The broken tablets had been mended,
The golden calf had been up-ended,
And old folk sittin’ ’round the fire,
Would talk of voices from the sky,
Babies sailing down the Nile,
The recipe for locust pie,
A hundred thousand frogs per mile,
We’d always ask them to describe…
…how Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal,
Shalt not commit adultery,
Boils the size of 50p,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn,
See these sandals hardly worn,
Raining blood, raining bread,
The night we painted Egypt red,
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie,
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour’s wife,
The recipe for egg fried lice,
A hundred ways to kill a fly,
Love your daddy, love your mummy,
Put your bread in milk and honey,
Loved his fish, he did, he did,
Never beat the wife and kids,
Slouch though desert, slouch through sand,
Until we reach the promised land,
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal,
Shalt not commit adultery,
Boils the size of 50p,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn,
See these sandals hardly worn,
Raining blood and raining bread,
The night we painted Egypt red,
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie,
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour’s wife,
The recipe for egg fried lice,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Lights! Camel! Action!
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on…
I like the bit about the whales.
I was thinking today (as one does) of the band Stump and their wonderful (and previously featured on this blog) song Buffalo, when it occurred to me that I’d never actually bothered to look up anything else they’d recorded. A bizarre situation that I had to address immediately!
So I did, and was rewarded with Charlton Heston.
Quirky, weird, Hollywood-biblical and catchy as hell, and that’s why it’s my pick of the week!
Enjoy!
By the way – 100,000 frogs per mile works out to one frog per 1.6 centimetres, which seems a tad crowded. Unless they mean 100,000 frogs per square mile, which works out to a measly one frog per 25.89 square metres. Across the whole of modern Egypt this would total 38,666,200,700 frogs.
Just in case you were wondering.
Edit Wars Ahoy!
As someone who was peripherally involved with the decline and fall of Earthcore it’s quite amusing to read through the history and discussion pages on its Wikipedia page.
Spiro always was a bit histrionic…
Looks like a spark (WORP!), feels like a flame (WORP!)
I haven’t been posting anywhere near as much as I’ve meant to lately, and right now I don’t have the time to do anything about it. So I thought I’d just inflict another Youtube video on you all.
Here I am proud to present (courtesy of Regretsy where I first encountered his greatness) Varga with Love Train!
Yes, at first listen it’s a horrible, horrible piece of garbage that sounds like someone’s idea of a sick joke, but when Varga isn’t – well, singing isn’t even close to the correct description for those noises he makes, but we’ll stick with it for now – when Varga isn’t singing and when those weird squawking noises aren’t intruding (WORP!) it’s not totally bad. There are bits that sound like semi-competent 8o’s ballad pop hidden in there. If Varga learnt to program his Casiotone properly and handed vocal duties across to someone else then he could actually be on to something.
Enjoy!
Climb on Board…
Just about to go into an important meeting with a client and I have Murder Train stuck in my head.
This is probably not a good thing.
He likes to move it, move it
All music in the 1990s sounded like this…
Any music you hear from the 1990s that doesn’t sound like this is a remix designed to appeal to a post-90s audience.
Trust me. I was there.
