Ozostium Aranthus Welcomes You

You may well accuse me of seeing Dagoth Ur everywhere, but you have to admit that the new Ozostium Aranthus model for Necromunda has serious Dagoth Ur energy.

Moon and Star I’m Ozostium Aranthus and I’m a god there’s no escape,
Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur, Dagoth Ur….

(‘serious Dagoth Ur energy’ is not a phrase anyone should ever have to type)

Car Park

A recent online conversation with a friend of mine in the UK…

Friend: [Son] keeps pestering me to see whether you’ve been to various liminal spaces in Australia. I tell him Australia is very big so it’s unlikely.

Me: I would be intrigued to know what liminal spaces might be available here. I didn’t know we had enough of them to count as ‘various’.

Friend: He was particularly interested in a car park in Melbourne!

Me: Well I have been to Melbourne a few times, so it’s theoretically possible that I’ve at least walked past the car park in question.

Me: Hang on, he’s not talking about the South Lawn Car Park at Melbourne University is he? Because if he is, then I have actually visited it!

Friend: Ah yes that is the one! He will be very excited!

Now what are the odds of that?

The Oksos Bekatalùn

The Oksos – The Zùrvàr Alphabet

The Oksos Bekatalùn was created by the Zùrvàr scholar Cufà Bekatal Kuvàravik in -ST0281 (1781 CE) and adopted as the official standard for written Zùrvàr at the second conference of Wácuràda in -ST0139 (1839 CE).

Prior to this a number of writing systems, mostly borrowed from other cultures, were used by the Zùrvàr, however none were particularly well suited to the language, almost all being abjads and few differentiating between voiced and unvoiced consonants. After several attempts to adapt existing systems Cufà resolved to create his own from the ground up, although he leaned heavily on the Latin alphabets native to numerous alternate Earths.

In addition to resolving the issues around vowels and voicing Cufà assigned a mnemonic to each letter to aid memorisation. This made a major contribution to the rapid adoption of his oksos by a number of influential Houses and is regarded as the chief reason the Oksos Bekatalùn won out over the rival Oksos Màdi created by Malik Màdi Fìelisavik in -ST0290 (1790 CE).

Notes on Usage

Direction: In standard use Zùrvàr is written from left to right, although the reverse or even boustrophedon is used by some smaller Houses.

Final Va: Va is conventionally pronounced as /ə/ at the end of words, rather than /æ/.

Ru vs Ŕu: At the time of the oksos‘s creation the Zùrvàr language had a distinction between trilled and untrilled ‘r’. As such, Cufà included a distinct glyph for each. In the ensuing centuries this distinction has been almost completely lost, and Ru is now almost always used for both phonemes. Ŕu remains in the oksos but is used only for a small number of obscure words, or to create a sense of faux archaism, similar to the ‘ye olde’ style of English writing.

Þu vs Ðu: In casual Zùrvàr writing it is standard to use Ðu to represent both /θ/ and /ð/ with the reader relying on context to determine which is intended. The only common exception is the word yþỳsan (“respected/admired”) which is always written with Þu to avoid confusion with yðỳsan (“covered in fronds/stubs/fingers”). More formal writing and most printed materials maintain the distinction.

The Perth Quiz Challenge

It occurred to me the other day that if I were running a quiz night here in Perth I would not be able to resist the temptation to irritate everyone by including a round of questions about the city itself.

To prepare for this eventuality I have devised 10 questions that can be shoved into any quiz night you might be thinking about organising, and that you can challenge yourself with right now, should that be your idea of an enjoyable time.

(Answers supplied at the end)


1: The Perth CBD is located on the country of which Aboriginal nation? For an extra point, what is the indigenous name for Perth?

2: The natural spring at the foot of Mount Eliza is named after who?

3: What is the oldest building still standing in the Perth CBD?

4: What is the indigenous name for the Swan River?

5: In April 1993 Gary Hayes broke into the Irwin Barracks at Karrakatta and did what?

6: Why is Perth called “The City of Lights”?

7: What two cities rival Perth for the title of most isolated major city in the world?

8: In 1979 a series of plaques commemorating prominent Western Australians were placed along St George’s Terrace. Who’s plaque was removed in 2014?

9: What year did the Narrows Bridge open? For a bonus point what was it originally planned to be called?

10: The postcode 6161 covers what location?


Ready for the answers?

1: Perth is on the land of the Whadjuk people of the Noongar nation. 1 point for ‘Whadjuk’ or ‘Whadjuk Noongar’. Half a point for just ‘Noongar’. The indigenous name for Perth is Boorloo.

2: The spring is named after Governor Sir Edward Kennedy. 1 point for any mention of Kennedy, unless they clearly meant President Kennedy which gets no points!

3: The oldest building in the CBD is the Old Court House in Stirling Gardens.

4: The indigenous name for the Swan River is Derbarl Yerrigan. Any spelling that is clearly meant to be ‘Derbarl Yerrigan’ is acceptable.

5: In April 1993 Gary Hayes stole an Armoured Personnel Carrier (APC). An APC is not a tank but we’ll be nice and accept ‘he stole a tank’ as correct.

6: Perth is “The City of Light” because everyone left their lights on in 1962 for orbiting American astronaut John Glenn. As long as they get this story broadly right they get a point.

7: Honolulu and Auckland rival Perth’s claim to be the world’s most isolated major city. Half a point for each one.

8: Rolf Harris’s plaque was removed in 2014.

9: The Narrows Bridge was opened in 1959. For the bonus point it was planned to be called “The Golden West” bridge.

10: 6161 is the postcode of Rottnest Island.

There you go. How did you do?

On the Palustiquendi

The Eldar named them ‘Palustiquendi’ – which is ‘Shelf Elf’ – from their habit of perching in dark and unexpected places to better their spying

The Palustiquendi are the descendants of escapees from the hellish chambers within which Morgoth created the first orcs from captured Elves long before the rising of the sun. Although appearing much as other Elves – Morgoth not having wrought much harm upon their bodies – their minds were twisted by his sorceries long ere their escape, rendering them scheming, suspicious, and duplicitous, quick to anger and fast to seek power by the accusation of others. Indeed, some believe the Palustiquendi did not escape, but were released by Morgoth to serve as spies and agents among the Elves, although any such scheme was doomed, as the ignoble behaviour of these piteous wretches swiftly marked them out among any untainted Eldar they encountered.

The Palustiquendi were all but wiped out during the War of the Jewels in the First Age, with few – if any – surviving the destruction of Beleriand in the War of Wrath. Legends persist however – even unto the present day – of these foul and treacherous creatures pledging their questionable allegiance to those desperate for spies and informants.

The Lyonesse Book

Known Pisk letters, arranged as per Be’Atell 2007. Note that row letters are labels, not phonetic values, which remain unknown.

Dredged up in a fisherman’s nets near Seven Stones Reef off the coast of Cornwall in 1798 CE the ‘Lyonesse Book’ was a set of four bronze sheets embossed with the longest known text in the written language of the Pisk – an enigmatic, metaphysically-aware culture that was present on the western fringes of Europe for around 1,000 years from approximately 3,500 BCE onwards. The ‘book’ is considered lost – last being recorded in the collection of a frustratingly anonymous Irish Antiquary in 1852 CE – but a number of written descriptions and illustrations (such as the one reproduced above) have survived, allowing it to be determined that the text was stamped into the bronze by a series of dies and that the text should almost certainly be read left to right, top to bottom.

The Pisk corpus is extremely small and to date no Pisk text has been convincingly translated. Thirty-four distinct characters are known (five of which are unique to the ‘book’) suggesting a syllababric system, although a complex alphabet cannot be entirely ruled out. The small semantic space covered by the characters has lead to suggestions that the Pisk were either not widely literate – with the script limited to ritual or other restricted purposes – or had a neural structure resistant to dyslexia.

Failing the discovery of a Pisk ‘Rosetta Stone’ – or at least a much larger collection of texts – it is considered unlikely that Pisk will ever be translated, although it is suspected that a common character sequence (i1, c5, f5) represents the Pisk’s own name for themselves and their culture.

The Haunted Elf’s House

In the middle of my shower this morning I suddenly realised that the Crone World sequence from Gav Thorpe’s Path of the Outcast (the third in his Path of the Eldar series) absolutely must have been influenced by M.R. James’ The Haunted Doll’s House.

The Haunted Doll’s House (written for the library of Queen Mary’s Doll’s House) concerns – unsurprisingly – a doll’s house that replays a ghostly vision of a murder and its consequences. You can read the whole thing here – which I strongly advise you to do as it’s one of my favourite of James’ works – but the important elements for our purposes are that a couple with two young children murder a frail old man in his bed before he can alter his will to cut them out…

It was time to look at that upper window. Through it was seen a four-post bed: a nurse or other servant in an arm-chair, evidently sound asleep; in the bed an old man lying: awake, and, one would say, anxious, from the way in which he shifted about and moved his fingers, beating tunes on the coverlet. Beyond the bed a door opened. Light was seen on the ceiling, and the lady came in: she set down her candle on a table, came to the fireside and roused the nurse. In her hand she had an old-fashioned wine bottle, ready uncorked. The nurse took it, poured some of the contents into a little silver saucepan, added some spice and sugar from casters on the table, and set it to warm on the fire. Meanwhile the old man in the bed beckoned feebly to the lady, who came to him, smiling, took his wrist as if to feel his pulse, and bit her lip as if in consternation. He looked at her anxiously, and then pointed to the window, and spoke. She nodded, and did as the man below had done; opened the casement and listened – perhaps rather ostentatiously: then drew in her head and shook it, looking at the old man, who seemed to sigh.

By this time the posset on the fire was steaming, and the nurse poured it into a small two-handled silver bowl and brought it to the bedside. The old man seemed disinclined for it and was waving it away, but the lady and the nurse together bent over him and evidently pressed it upon him. He must have yielded, for they supported him into a sitting position, and put it to his lips. He drank most of it, in several draughts, and they laid him down. The lady left the room, smiling good night to him, and took the bowl, the bottle and the silver saucepan with her. The nurse returned to the chair, and there was an interval of complete quiet.

Suddenly the old man started up in his bed – and he must have uttered some cry, for the nurse started out of her chair and made but one step of it to the bedside. He was a sad and terrible sight – flushed in the face, almost to blackness, the eyes glaring whitely, both hands clutching at his heart, foam at his lips. For a moment the nurse left him, ran to the door, flung it wide open, and, one supposes, screamed aloud for help, then darted back to the bed and seemed to try feverishly to soothe him – to lay him down – anything. But as the lady, her husband, and several servants, rushed into the room with horrified faces, the old man collapsed under the nurse’s hands and lay back, and his features, contorted with agony and rage, relaxed slowly into calm.

In Path of the Outcast the focus character – Aradryan – joins an expedition to an ancient, abandoned palace on a Crone World in the Eye of Terror. He soon finds himself beguiled by ghostly visions of the Eldar who once lived there…

Before he even realised what he was doing, Aradryan was beside the bed, stroking a hand across the silk-like covers. He did not need to sleep, he told himself as he turned and sat down on the edge of the bed. He would just sit here for a few moments, recharging his strength. He could see why such a place had been constructed; from the bed the sea seemed to come right up to the window, its wordless voice urging him to close his eyes and relax.

Aradryan most definitely did not sleep. He did not even close his eyes, and stayed sat on the edge of the bed staring out at the alien sea. Despite being very obviously awake, the ranger started to notice that things were becoming decidedly dream-like. For a start, his waystone was gleaming gold and hot to the touch when he lifted his fingers to it. On top of that, he was not alone on the bed. He did not dare turn around, but he could feel the presence of someone else behind him, their weight on the mattress.

Delicate music tinkled in the distance, soothing and quiet, echoing along the empty corridors and across abandoned rooms. Except the corridors and rooms were not empty and abandoned. The figures of eldar moved around the apartment, several of them gathering by the window in front of Aradryan, holding hands with each other as they looked out across the waves as darkness descended. They were a family, two small girls with their mother and father. The person behind Aradryan called out a series of names and the family turned with smiles, the children breaking free to run to the bed. One of them leapt onto the mattress, passing straight through Aradryan.

Bolting to his feet, Aradryan turned to look at the ghosts. The eldar from the portraits, eyes lined with greater age, lay beneath the covers, which were rucked back to reveal his thin shoulders and shallow chest.

The music had stopped, and the small girl who had leapt onto the bed was not smiling any more. Her tiny hands were at the old noble’s throat, and there were shouts and rings of metal from across the palace grounds. Old scores were being settled, the extended families dividing into factions, sectarian violence erupting between them to decide who should inherit the luxurious planet-manse.

[…]

Behind the aristocratic-looking eldar, the girl on the bed had finished strangling the old noble and was pulling the heavy rings from his fingers, while her sister had joined her and was using a knife to cut his hair, pulling free gemstones from the bindings thus freed.

So, in both stories we have a haunted building that produces visions of an old man being murdered in his bed by his heirs (including two children) over a disputed inheritance. Thorpe’s version is more shocking – which is only to be expected when dealing with pre-Fall Eldar who were downright horrid – but the story elements are exactly the same.

I am amazed it took me this long to notice the similarity, given my fondness for both the James story and the Crone World sequence. I guess if you’re going to borrow, borrow from the best!

Early Morning Musings on a Portrait of Kermit the Frog as the God Emperor of Mankind

Why’d I make so many sons I called Primarchs?
And why aren’t half on my side?
Konrad has visions, and Magnus illusions,
And Corvus just likes to hide,
Guilliman’s anal, the Lion loves secrets, and Vulcan is really tall,
Someday I’ll finish my webway connection,
And then I can dump them all,