Category: Internet Ephemera

It does not matter which way you vote. Either way your planet is Doomed! DOOOOOMED!!

You know, it’s pretty much impossible for me to put into words how much I enjoy spam emails like this…

The massive downfall that will wipe out 49 out of 50 American states… If you didn’t watch this INCENDIARY broadcast yet, then it will take you by complete surprise. And unfortunately you won’t make it out alive, because what’s coming has the devil sign on it. And it was predicted in the BIBLE! Before the church managed to HIDE the tormenting prophecy. But 14 days ago this leaked video went viral, exposing how Obama and the unofficial church leaders fought long WARS to keep this information hidden. Until it was too late for anyone to do anything about it. This is the 18th link they put up in 14 days, and most definitely this site will be taken down again shortly. Watch this shocking video now This is an email advertisement that was sent to you by End Days Survival. If you wish to no longer receive messages, please click here to unsubscribe or write us at 44 main street, Douglas, South Lanarkshire, U.K.

Sure, they’re just trying to sell you food packs, or gold, or trying to get you to visit a site loaded down with viruses, but it’s so damn entertaining!

This Complex Modern World

According to my email inbox this morning…

* My Home Rate may be lowered to 2.76%
* My Trans Union Equifax score may have been updated (my trans-union-what now?)
* I have limited time to enroll in Medicare
* I have been chosen to participate in the Pepsi vs Coke Challenge
* My Auto Rate has been lowered (whatever that is)
* My Printable Dog Coupons are ready (coupons to print out a dog? I’m in!)
* Dish beats Cable (apparently)
* Mercy Clinton wants to be my friend (she’s quite the looker!)
* Fourteen separate sexual predators have moved within 1.2 miles of my house (are they setting up some kind of club?)

What a complex world we inhabit!

SciFiGamers, My Part in Their Downfall

You know, it’s great when you see your kids grow up and achieve something in the outside world.

About a year ago someone decided that the way to get ahead in life would be to set up a Tumblr blog that harvested images and posts from the Warhammer Subreddit and presented them as their own with no credit or attribution. This was eventually noticed by the admins, and said blog was deluged with DMCA takedown requests until Tumblr had no choice but to shut it down with extreme prejudice. Hooray!

Before this happened however, I made a suggestion in the thread discussing the issue, that we should all add “SciFiGamers Sucks Ass” to our posts, in the hope that the bot behind the theft would slavishly copy such comments across. A few people attempted this, posting messages much more explicit, but the blog was shut down shortly afterwards and nothing much came of it.

A few months later the same blog popped up again under a slightly different URL. I made my suggestion again, this time providing “SCIFIGAMERS GARGLES DONKEY KNOB” as a sample message. The idea took off like wildfire and before very long the thread and the parasite blog were decorated with messages such as “Here are my Imperial Knights. By the way, SciFiGamers ingests it’s own feces!”. Once again the blog was taken down shortly afterwards. Victory!

Earlier today it was discovered that another site was parasiting off the Subreddit. The Mods made my humble idea official policy, and before long the infringing site was bulging at the seams with absolutely awful – and often hilarious – messages condoning all manner of perversions and extreme political views. Before long the actual owner of the site showed up in the Subreddit and apologised, having taken down all of the pirated content. However it was then discovered that the original offenders were at it again, so the bile cannon was redirected their way. As I type this, SciFiGamers are overwhelmed with crude and offensive messages, and the campaign has made it to the front page of Reddit.

I’m so proud! ;D

Well, I never claimed to be Shakespeare

Pop Sonnets is great! Try figuring out each song before you read the tagline.

And while I can’t claim the same skill with letters as the bards behind the original, I couldn’t help but turn my hand to a bit of conversion from the modern…

Cruel seconds chase their course around the dial,
Sly minutes follow surely in their way,
Fast fading hours in darkness bring no smile,
And man may run no faster than the day,
Time’s arrow slips the clutch of all our care,
No method or design to stay its flight,
Small time remains, one night our love to share,
No morning shall come forth from out this night,
If dream this be I truly cannot bear,
A cynic’s coat I always having worn,
My hopes arise in contrast to despair,
God grant my plea to never see the dawn,
– Fain I would have the timepiece handless be,
One score and four hours left to spend with thee,

Now, who’s that by?

Sadly Insignificant Claims to Fame

It’s well known that you’re not worth anything in this world unless famous people pay attention to you. As such, here are my own claims to some kind of greater significance…

Mark Genge of Radio RTR read out the greeting card I sent wishing him a “Merry Metaphysician’s Day and an Existential Evening” during his I’ve Seen Elvis segment.

I sent a list of wacky laws to the Martin Molloy radio show, some of which were read out (Mick Molloy’s reaction to my nom-de-plume of Denys the Purple Wyrm was a heartfelt groan of “Oh God!”).

I sent an adventure suggestion in audio form to the Dragon’s Landing podcast, which was both played and highly praised by the hosts.

Cory Doctorow himself slapped me down (nicely) for using Creative Commons incorrectly on my Flickr stream.

My suggestion for adding Buffalo to Minecraft was read out and caused much hilarity on the Shaft podcast – even if they forgot to actually credit it to me.

The Oatmeal recently commented on this very blog (see if you can spot where!).

That’s it. Tell me we both matter, don’t we?

PS: Warren Ellis once called me “daft” and Dan Abnett “a very fine human being indeed”. How could I forget them?

Close Bitnami banner
Bitnami