Lesser Known War Machines of the Astra Militarum

The Leman Russ Expectorator
A rare model of Leman Russ battle tank, the Expectorater replaces its main armament with an Expectorator Cannon, which fires congealed globules of Space Marine phlegm at the enemy.

The limited supplies of Astartes saliva (which is collected by specialised Chapter Spitoon Servitors post-combat) restrict the use of the Expectorator to actions where it it expected to prove particularly effective, such as against Emperor’s Children Chaos Marines who have shown themselves to be horrified at the idea of being covered in rancid spit.

The Leman Russ Exasperator
The Exasperator Battle Tank swaps its main weapon with a bank of servitor powered mega-vuvuzelas. The indescribable cacophony produced has proven able to drive even Slaaneshi noise marines off the field, hands clamped firmly over their ears.

The Leman Russ Exnihilator
All attempts to create a hybrid of the Executioner and Annihilator Battle Tanks have so far met with failure, with many Astra Militarum Commanders firmly of the opinion that the Tech Adepts responsible only maintain the effort due to an unhealthy fascination with puns.

One thought on “Lesser Known War Machines of the Astra Militarum”

  1. Plus the new Harlequin ‘Ham-Class’ Titan. It’s gaudy coloured armour can be seen from miles away, striking terror in the heart of the foe. Its main attack is to stomp its enemies as it campily leaps about the theatre of war. It’s secondary attack is to bore the enemy to death with the Eldar equivalent of excruciatingly bad, monotone delivered Shakespeare monologues, enough to make a Howling Banshee psychoacoustic scream in horror all the way back to the original Eldar home world, Slaanesh be damned.

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