Lesser Known War Machines of the Astra Militarum

The Leman Russ Expectorator
A rare model of Leman Russ battle tank, the Expectorater replaces its main armament with an Expectorator Cannon, which fires congealed globules of Space Marine phlegm at the enemy.

The limited supplies of Astartes saliva (which is collected by specialised Chapter Spitoon Servitors post-combat) restrict the use of the Expectorator to actions where it it expected to prove particularly effective, such as against Emperor’s Children Chaos Marines who have shown themselves to be horrified at the idea of being covered in rancid spit.

The Leman Russ Exasperator
The Exasperator Battle Tank swaps its main weapon with a bank of servitor powered mega-vuvuzelas. The indescribable cacophony produced has proven able to drive even Slaaneshi noise marines off the field, hands clamped firmly over their ears.

The Leman Russ Exnihilator
All attempts to create a hybrid of the Executioner and Annihilator Battle Tanks have so far met with failure, with many Astra Militarum Commanders firmly of the opinion that the Tech Adepts responsible only maintain the effort due to an unhealthy fascination with puns.

The Worldwide Leman Russ Bitz Shortage

Someone doesn’t want me having a Eradicator…

So, a while back I placed an order on eBay for some Warhammer 40k bitz – including two Leman Russ turrets – from a seller that I’ve dealt with many times before without problems.

My order arrived a few weeks later – minus one of the turrets.

I emailed the seller politely asking where the second turret was, and they apologised profusely, saying they’d send it immediately.

Not long after the first order I placed an order with another seller (again whom with I’ve happily dealt in the past) that included a Leman Russ Nova Cannon. My order arrived a few weeks later, sans cannon.

I emailed the seller to point this out, and they apologised profusely, immediately refunding the cost of the cannon.

Today a parcel arrived from the first seller. It contained five 40mm bases that I never ordered, and no Leman Russ turret.

Call me paranoid but this is getting suspicious…

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