Category: Geekery

SciFiGamers, My Part in Their Downfall

You know, it’s great when you see your kids grow up and achieve something in the outside world.

About a year ago someone decided that the way to get ahead in life would be to set up a Tumblr blog that harvested images and posts from the Warhammer Subreddit and presented them as their own with no credit or attribution. This was eventually noticed by the admins, and said blog was deluged with DMCA takedown requests until Tumblr had no choice but to shut it down with extreme prejudice. Hooray!

Before this happened however, I made a suggestion in the thread discussing the issue, that we should all add “SciFiGamers Sucks Ass” to our posts, in the hope that the bot behind the theft would slavishly copy such comments across. A few people attempted this, posting messages much more explicit, but the blog was shut down shortly afterwards and nothing much came of it.

A few months later the same blog popped up again under a slightly different URL. I made my suggestion again, this time providing “SCIFIGAMERS GARGLES DONKEY KNOB” as a sample message. The idea took off like wildfire and before very long the thread and the parasite blog were decorated with messages such as “Here are my Imperial Knights. By the way, SciFiGamers ingests it’s own feces!”. Once again the blog was taken down shortly afterwards. Victory!

Earlier today it was discovered that another site was parasiting off the Subreddit. The Mods made my humble idea official policy, and before long the infringing site was bulging at the seams with absolutely awful – and often hilarious – messages condoning all manner of perversions and extreme political views. Before long the actual owner of the site showed up in the Subreddit and apologised, having taken down all of the pirated content. However it was then discovered that the original offenders were at it again, so the bile cannon was redirected their way. As I type this, SciFiGamers are overwhelmed with crude and offensive messages, and the campaign has made it to the front page of Reddit.

I’m so proud! ;D

The Seven Wonders of the Second World War

1: The HMS Habakkuk (UK/Canada)
2: His Majesty’s Artillery Barrages, Brixton and Leyton (UK)
3: The USS George Washington and USS Theodore Roosevelt Invasion Carriers (USA)
4: The Mukhoboyka Sonic Anti-Aircraft Array (USSR)
5: The Landkreuzer P. 1400 Ratte II Super Tank (Germany)
6: The Silberadler Intercontinental Bomber (Germany)
7: The Mount Takao Grand Imperial Bunker Complex (Japan)

Round the Cape to the Far Antipodes

I took delivery today of some Lego I’ve ordered to put together a model of Inquisitor Golesh Constantine Pheppos Heldane to go with my other Gaunt’s Ghosts minifigs. Nothing unusual about this you might think, except that I placed the order back on May 19th.

Now, I can accept that prior to the opening of the Suez Canal in 1869, 113 days might be an acceptable delivery time between the UK and Perth, but I really would have thought that the Royal Mail would have moved on from clipper ships by now. Or perhaps the Ordo Chronos of the Emperor’s Holy Inquisition got wind of my plans, disapproved, and caused the parcel to get lost in the Warp? The Lego seems normal with no obvious signs of chaotic taint, but one can never really tell, so I won’t let the resulting model get too far away from Saint Sabbat, just in case.

In any case, Firestar Toys can be absolved of any blame as they clearly did post the parcel a few days after my order. Whatever problems occurred did so after my order left their remit, so I will happily continue to recommend them to all aspiring minifig builders.

Keep your eyes peeled for Inquisitor Heldane!

Stadtkrones Ahoy!

For all my fine words about taking a break from the Peter Grant series I bought volume 4 – Broken Homes – on Wednesday evening and finished it on the way to work this morning. Another great read with some fascinating information on German architectural theory (the idea of a Stadtkrone intrigues me). But that ending! How could you do that to us Mr Aaronovitch?! How?!

The Mythbusters were great! Apparently we were the biggest crowd they’ve ever performed to. And Adam was greatly amused by the idea that people from Perth should be called Perthlings. I was sitting right at the very back but still managed a few decent photographs, which I’ll put up once I get the chance.

Miscellany

Got my hair cut over the weekend. I decided that when random youths on the street start shouting “Wolverine!” at you it’s probably time to get your sideburns trimmed at the very least.

I quite liked Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor. A post-regeneration episode is never going to give you a proper look at the new version, but I approve so far. I must note however that they should have included some kind of explanation as to why the dinosaur was almost as tall as the Elizabeth Tower – I’m fairly certain that theropods never got that big.

I also really like the latest single from Bertie Blackman, Run For Your Life. It has a ominous, mysterious sound to it that puts me in mind in equal parts of the Cure and Halogen’s On a Bridge, with a comparatively triumphant, soaring chorus that resolves some of the tension from the verses. For some reason it also reminds me of Terry Dowling’s Blue Tyson novels – if they ever turned them into a movie (a prospect in equal parts fantastic, terrifying and unlikely) I’d lobby for it to be on the soundtrack. Have a listen!

That is all.

Where the Pink Flamingos Stand

I’ve really been getting into Ben Aaronovitch’s Peter Grant series of late. For those not in the know it’s a series of urban fantasy books about a rookie cop in London who finds himself apprenticed to the UK’s last operating wizard, who also happens to be an Inspector in charge of a department of the Metropolitan Police that they don’t like to talk about. They’re great reads with sharp, funny writing and plenty of geeky references to both popular nerd culture (book number three mentions Space Hulk for crying out loud!) and the history of London – both subjects dear to my heart.

I’ve read the first three so far. I actually enjoyed the first one (Rivers of London or, if you’re American and thus can’t be trusted with proper book titles Midnight Riot) so much that within ten minutes of finishing it I had purchased and was reading book two, Moon Over Soho (it helped that I was in the city at the time and hence only a few minutes walk from White Dwarf Books). On two occasions while reading the series I almost shouted out loud in a public place – the first when I figured out who the villain in Rivers of London was (a full two pages before his give away catchphrase I would like to point out ;)), and the second from sheer astonishment at Nightingale’s reminiscences about tiger hunting – which is pretty impressive for someone as reserved as my good self.

Prior to picking up Rivers of London I was chiefly familiar with Ben due to his work on Doctor Who, he being responsible for the classic McCoy era story Remembrance of the Daleks and its brilliant novelisation. I was already a fan simply because he included in that work a reference to the British Rocket Group, but he has now been elevated into the pantheon of my absolutely favourite authors. I’m very much looking forwards to reading the continuing adventures of PC Grant, but am taking a break before moving on to Broken Homes to minimise my risk of hyperthaumaturgical degradation.

Now, it’s inevitable that the title of book two in the Peter Grant series – Moon Over Soho – would not as intended remind me of jazz music, but of The Drew Carey Show. As such I’ve been wandering around the flat singing to myself…

Moon over Soho bring my love to me tonight!
Guide her to Lambeth, underneath your silvery light!
We’re going shopping! So don’t lose her in Wapping!
Moon over Soho, tonight!

(I cannot see any reason why someone would travel from Soho to Lambeth via Wapping, but when the Muse calls you gotta accept the charges).

After several weeks of such awfulness it occurred to me to do some poking around to try and find the source of Mr Carey’s first season ditty, and with very little trouble I tracked down the original, as broadcast on Cleveland area TV station WJW in what would appear to the early 70’s, but based on contextual clues can be no earlier than 1988…

I really like it. Singer/Songwriter Bob “Mad Dog” McGuire has a fine voice, and I enjoy the way his slightly tongue in cheek lyrics depict the North Coast of Ohio as a setting for romance equivalent to Hawaii or Capri. Well done Bob!

On top of his cut down opening theme performance Drew Carey actually recorded a full version of the song, giving it more of a swing…

Also, in an act of wonderful lunacy, 90’s Canadian white boy rapper Snow also did a version for the final season of The Drew Carey Show, which is one of those things that you need to hear to actually believe…

So yes. Read the PC Grant series, keep an eye out for anything involving Ben Aaronovitch and consider Lake County Ohio for your next romantic getaway!

PS: I wonder if Mr Aaronovitch is aware that a branch of the river Tyburn passes almost exactly underneath the Folly? This cannot bode well…

Spiderman, Spiderman…

Many, many years ago my Dad happened to get a copy of The SAS Survival Handbook out of the local library. I found it fascinating – page upon page of advice on navigation, first aid, locating and trapping food, building shelter, signalling, and everything else a body could need in the aftermath of a plane crash, earthquake or other assorted apocalypse. I spent hours poring over it, and ended up getting my own copy to spend even more hours poring over without having to worry about late fees.

There was one thing that confused me though. Among the suggested equipment that you should carry with you at all times (which included knives, razor blades and a flexible wire saw – not really so great for air travel nowdays) was something called a ‘beta-light’. This was described as a ‘crystal’ that glows – glows forever in fact – providing enough light to read a map by or to tie to a hook and line as a fishing lure.

This puzzled the hell out of me. A glowing crystal? That’s the kind of thing you’d expect to find in a Charles Berlizt book about the mystery of Atlantis, not a hard nosed book about how to snare and skin badgers. Yet there it was, listed between the iodine crystals and waterproof matches (which you should split in half lengthways to save space). “Beta-Light”. Was that a brand name? Like it’s a “better” light? I couldn’t tell. I asked my parents what this magical item might be, but they were no help and didn’t seem to comprehend how unlikely and science-fictional such an item seemed. I tried looking up “beta-light” in the encyclopedias down at the library, but there was no such entry, and those in those now far gone days before the web that was pretty much the limit of research. So the concept of perpetually glowing crystals settled down into a quiet corner of my brain to await further developments, none of which were to occur for decades.

A few weeks back Spiderman 2 was on TV. I saw Spiderman when it came out in the cinemas and quite enjoyed it, but had never actually seen the sequel, and since I had nothing on the next morning decided to stay up and watch. I thought it was pretty good – Alfred Molina in particular did a great job of making Doctor Octopus a sympathetic villain, and Toby Macquire continued to be excellent at portraying a scrawny nerd from Queens. The one thing I did find amusing about the who thing however was the plot’s insistence on the importance of tritium – a substance so common that the oceans are full of it, yet a few grams is apparently enough to destroy the whole of Manhattan. Oh how I laughed!

Just out of idle curiosity, during an ad break, I decided to look up tritium on Wikipedia. Oops. Turns out I had been confusing it with deuterium. I don’t know if a few grams of tritium would be enough to destroy Manhattan, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Continuing through the article I stumbled over the following…

The emitted electrons from the radioactive decay of small amounts of tritium cause phosphors to glow so as to make self-powered lighting devices called betalights…

Holy crap! I clicked on the link, and there it was, all laid out for me!

Turns out a beta-light is not a “crystal”. It’s a sealed container of glass or plastic filled with gaseous tritium and lined with a phosphor. As the gas undergoes radioactive decay the beta particles emitted cause the phosphor to fluoresce, producing light. It won’t of course last forever, but it will provide light for many years, and although increasingly replaced with less radioactive light sources, it’s still pretty safe and would be a handy thing to have in a survival situation. Case closed!

In light of this surprising development, I now plan to watch Spiderman 3 to see if it can answer my questions about three body gravitational problems.

 

 

Kidding. There is no force on Earth that could make me watch Spiderman 3.

Notes on Physics

The Probability Maxim: All possibilities are played out somewhere in Probability.

The Probability Paradox: Probability travel links universes into continua that invalidate the Probability Maxim. First noted by the Wyrm philosopher Ryzan in 720 BC.

Artonic Quantum Theory: Artonic energy can only be expended in discrete units or quanta. This limits the amount to which Probability can be fractured, thus restricting which universes can be reached from any given universe and creating multiple interlaced continua – thus preserving the Probability Maxim. Disproven when the energy value of the Artonic Quanta was shown to be beneath the minimum necessary to fracture Probability.

Meta-Probability Theory: Championed by Zurvár physicist Àeksùl this theory proposed a second dimension of Probability, creating continua inaccessible to standard Artonic Probability travel. Fell into disfavour after the death of Àeksùl in his tragic laboratory disaster.

Harmonic Probability Theory: Probability can only be fractured in discrete units, restricting what universes are accessible and creating multiple interlaced continua – thus preserving the Probability Maxim. The currently accepted solution to the Probability Paradox.