Category: Geekery

The Laxatives were Super Effective

Terrible insomnia last night. When I finally did get off to sleep I dreamt that I was hand crafting miniature figures of characters from Little Orphan Annie, a project that also (for some reason) required a miniature replica of Bassendean Oval decorated with a gigantic beer advertisement. I can only blame too much cheese.

Anyway, you may (or may not) have noticed that there hasn’t been much activity on the Wyrmlog throughout the last month. This is because – in addition to the usual stress in the run up to the festive season – I was dealing with a potentially serious health issue. Without going into too much hideously organic detail I was suffering a series of intestinal upsets allied with strange abdominal pains, which led my doc to order a full endoscopy and colonoscopy, which for the uninitiated means sticking cameras into both ends of my poor, abused body to try and figure out what the hell was going on.

Now of course the worst case scenario was cancer…

And while based on my symptoms there was nothing to particularly indicate cancer there was nothing to not indicate it either. So until I got the tests done I was in a state of some nervousness. By which I mean only just staving off blind, screaming panic by sheer effort of will, which left very little time for such things as writing blog entries.

So, I spent the weekend before Christmas not eating and downing vast quantities of various nasty liquids and pills that did a quite effective job at aggressively clearing out the entire length of my digestive system, and on Monday went in to hospital to have cameras go adventuring where no cameras had gone before. These – naturally – turned up nothing more than a bit of general inflammation and mild diverticulitis which while not completely explaining my abdominal pains managed to rule out any nefarious malignancies about to drag me into an early grave. Thank God.

Since then I’ve been regaining my mental equilibrium courtesy of turkey sandwiches (perhaps the most reliably enjoyable aspect of the holiday season), Minecraft and a number of really excellent books I got for Christmas. I can particularly recommend The Martian by Andy Weir which I received at about 12:30 on Christmas day and finished at 11:30 the same night, having been quite unable to put it down. I’m also working my way through The World of Ice and Fire, which Rebecca and Dom kindly got me, knowing my penchant for getting way too into the background detail of fantasy settings.

(On that note, could it be any more obvious that the Andals are Anglo-Saxon expies? “The Axe”, c’mon! And what’s up with all the Lovecraft references? Oh, and a proper map would be nice. You know, this really sounds like I don’t like the book – nothing could be further from the truth, it’s just that fulsome praise is boring to both write and read, so I’m merely nitpicking at a really excellent work. Go and buy it!)

Anyway, so that’s what’s up. I was worried I might die, but it turns out I probably won’t any time soon. I hope you’ll all agree that this is a good thing 😀

PS: World Without End was pretty good, wasn’t it? Nora von Waldstätten, wowee! Although why did they make the Tower of London look nothing like the actual Tower of London?

PPS: It’s too hot today!

It Begins

My landline is being very erratic. Telstra are going to come look at it, then decide whether they’re going to charge me for coming to look at it. Don’t know how often I’ll be able to hop online over the weekend, but it seems to be holding for now.

In any case, we’ve started on the road to H.O.L with the proposed foundation of Church and Munch.

Golden arches: Businessman wants to build McDonald’s in a church

A FAST-FOOD lovin’ entrepreneur has come up with a unique idea to entice people back into the Church.

Build a McDonald’s in it.

Paul Di Lucca’s McMass Project aims to get the congregation back by turning communion into a Happy Meal.

I believe there was a ‘rave church’ in London in the 90’s that offered communion in the form of consecrated Big Macs, but this really cuts out the middle man. Break out your Sponks!

SciFiGamers, My Part in Their Downfall

You know, it’s great when you see your kids grow up and achieve something in the outside world.

About a year ago someone decided that the way to get ahead in life would be to set up a Tumblr blog that harvested images and posts from the Warhammer Subreddit and presented them as their own with no credit or attribution. This was eventually noticed by the admins, and said blog was deluged with DMCA takedown requests until Tumblr had no choice but to shut it down with extreme prejudice. Hooray!

Before this happened however, I made a suggestion in the thread discussing the issue, that we should all add “SciFiGamers Sucks Ass” to our posts, in the hope that the bot behind the theft would slavishly copy such comments across. A few people attempted this, posting messages much more explicit, but the blog was shut down shortly afterwards and nothing much came of it.

A few months later the same blog popped up again under a slightly different URL. I made my suggestion again, this time providing “SCIFIGAMERS GARGLES DONKEY KNOB” as a sample message. The idea took off like wildfire and before very long the thread and the parasite blog were decorated with messages such as “Here are my Imperial Knights. By the way, SciFiGamers ingests it’s own feces!”. Once again the blog was taken down shortly afterwards. Victory!

Earlier today it was discovered that another site was parasiting off the Subreddit. The Mods made my humble idea official policy, and before long the infringing site was bulging at the seams with absolutely awful – and often hilarious – messages condoning all manner of perversions and extreme political views. Before long the actual owner of the site showed up in the Subreddit and apologised, having taken down all of the pirated content. However it was then discovered that the original offenders were at it again, so the bile cannon was redirected their way. As I type this, SciFiGamers are overwhelmed with crude and offensive messages, and the campaign has made it to the front page of Reddit.

I’m so proud! ;D

The Seven Wonders of the Second World War

1: The HMS Habakkuk (UK/Canada)
2: His Majesty’s Artillery Barrages, Brixton and Leyton (UK)
3: The USS George Washington and USS Theodore Roosevelt Invasion Carriers (USA)
4: The Mukhoboyka Sonic Anti-Aircraft Array (USSR)
5: The Landkreuzer P. 1400 Ratte II Super Tank (Germany)
6: The Silberadler Intercontinental Bomber (Germany)
7: The Mount Takao Grand Imperial Bunker Complex (Japan)

Round the Cape to the Far Antipodes

I took delivery today of some Lego I’ve ordered to put together a model of Inquisitor Golesh Constantine Pheppos Heldane to go with my other Gaunt’s Ghosts minifigs. Nothing unusual about this you might think, except that I placed the order back on May 19th.

Now, I can accept that prior to the opening of the Suez Canal in 1869, 113 days might be an acceptable delivery time between the UK and Perth, but I really would have thought that the Royal Mail would have moved on from clipper ships by now. Or perhaps the Ordo Chronos of the Emperor’s Holy Inquisition got wind of my plans, disapproved, and caused the parcel to get lost in the Warp? The Lego seems normal with no obvious signs of chaotic taint, but one can never really tell, so I won’t let the resulting model get too far away from Saint Sabbat, just in case.

In any case, Firestar Toys can be absolved of any blame as they clearly did post the parcel a few days after my order. Whatever problems occurred did so after my order left their remit, so I will happily continue to recommend them to all aspiring minifig builders.

Keep your eyes peeled for Inquisitor Heldane!

Stadtkrones Ahoy!

For all my fine words about taking a break from the Peter Grant series I bought volume 4 – Broken Homes – on Wednesday evening and finished it on the way to work this morning. Another great read with some fascinating information on German architectural theory (the idea of a Stadtkrone intrigues me). But that ending! How could you do that to us Mr Aaronovitch?! How?!

The Mythbusters were great! Apparently we were the biggest crowd they’ve ever performed to. And Adam was greatly amused by the idea that people from Perth should be called Perthlings. I was sitting right at the very back but still managed a few decent photographs, which I’ll put up once I get the chance.

Miscellany

Got my hair cut over the weekend. I decided that when random youths on the street start shouting “Wolverine!” at you it’s probably time to get your sideburns trimmed at the very least.

I quite liked Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor. A post-regeneration episode is never going to give you a proper look at the new version, but I approve so far. I must note however that they should have included some kind of explanation as to why the dinosaur was almost as tall as the Elizabeth Tower – I’m fairly certain that theropods never got that big.

I also really like the latest single from Bertie Blackman, Run For Your Life. It has a ominous, mysterious sound to it that puts me in mind in equal parts of the Cure and Halogen’s On a Bridge, with a comparatively triumphant, soaring chorus that resolves some of the tension from the verses. For some reason it also reminds me of Terry Dowling’s Blue Tyson novels – if they ever turned them into a movie (a prospect in equal parts fantastic, terrifying and unlikely) I’d lobby for it to be on the soundtrack. Have a listen!

That is all.

Where the Pink Flamingos Stand

I’ve really been getting into Ben Aaronovitch’s Peter Grant series of late. For those not in the know it’s a series of urban fantasy books about a rookie cop in London who finds himself apprenticed to the UK’s last operating wizard, who also happens to be an Inspector in charge of a department of the Metropolitan Police that they don’t like to talk about. They’re great reads with sharp, funny writing and plenty of geeky references to both popular nerd culture (book number three mentions Space Hulk for crying out loud!) and the history of London – both subjects dear to my heart.

I’ve read the first three so far. I actually enjoyed the first one (Rivers of London or, if you’re American and thus can’t be trusted with proper book titles Midnight Riot) so much that within ten minutes of finishing it I had purchased and was reading book two, Moon Over Soho (it helped that I was in the city at the time and hence only a few minutes walk from White Dwarf Books). On two occasions while reading the series I almost shouted out loud in a public place – the first when I figured out who the villain in Rivers of London was (a full two pages before his give away catchphrase I would like to point out ;)), and the second from sheer astonishment at Nightingale’s reminiscences about tiger hunting – which is pretty impressive for someone as reserved as my good self.

Prior to picking up Rivers of London I was chiefly familiar with Ben due to his work on Doctor Who, he being responsible for the classic McCoy era story Remembrance of the Daleks and its brilliant novelisation. I was already a fan simply because he included in that work a reference to the British Rocket Group, but he has now been elevated into the pantheon of my absolutely favourite authors. I’m very much looking forwards to reading the continuing adventures of PC Grant, but am taking a break before moving on to Broken Homes to minimise my risk of hyperthaumaturgical degradation.

Now, it’s inevitable that the title of book two in the Peter Grant series – Moon Over Soho – would not as intended remind me of jazz music, but of The Drew Carey Show. As such I’ve been wandering around the flat singing to myself…

Moon over Soho bring my love to me tonight!
Guide her to Lambeth, underneath your silvery light!
We’re going shopping! So don’t lose her in Wapping!
Moon over Soho, tonight!

(I cannot see any reason why someone would travel from Soho to Lambeth via Wapping, but when the Muse calls you gotta accept the charges).

After several weeks of such awfulness it occurred to me to do some poking around to try and find the source of Mr Carey’s first season ditty, and with very little trouble I tracked down the original, as broadcast on Cleveland area TV station WJW in what would appear to the early 70’s, but based on contextual clues can be no earlier than 1988…

I really like it. Singer/Songwriter Bob “Mad Dog” McGuire has a fine voice, and I enjoy the way his slightly tongue in cheek lyrics depict the North Coast of Ohio as a setting for romance equivalent to Hawaii or Capri. Well done Bob!

On top of his cut down opening theme performance Drew Carey actually recorded a full version of the song, giving it more of a swing…

Also, in an act of wonderful lunacy, 90’s Canadian white boy rapper Snow also did a version for the final season of The Drew Carey Show, which is one of those things that you need to hear to actually believe…

So yes. Read the PC Grant series, keep an eye out for anything involving Ben Aaronovitch and consider Lake County Ohio for your next romantic getaway!

PS: I wonder if Mr Aaronovitch is aware that a branch of the river Tyburn passes almost exactly underneath the Folly? This cannot bode well…