Client: This order didn’t go through the checkout properly! Help!
Me: Yes, you’re right. OK, we’re troubleshooting it and will keep you posted.
Some time later…
Client: I tried putting the order through again and it didn’t work!
Me: Yes, we’re still trying to sort out the problem with the checkout. We’ll let you know when we’ve solved it.
Some more time later…
Client: I tried putting the order through again and it didn’t work! We need to get this order processed to balance the books! It’s hurting our business!
Me: Have you had problems with any other orders since?
Client: No, every other order is coming through fine, but this one keeps failing every time I put it through!
Me: OK, we’re still working on the checkout issue, but you can use this tool to edit the details of the order – that way you can correct the erroneous details, process the order and get your books balanced. Try it out and let me know how you go.
Client: I put the order through again and it still failed! Are you taking this issue seriously? We need to balance our books.
Me: Did you edit the order like I suggested, or put through an entirely new one?
Client: I put through a new one! You need to fix this!
Me: I know we need to fix it, we’re working on it. In the meantime here are the instructions again on how to edit one of the failed orders so you can get the order processed and squared away.
Client: I’ve tried putting the order through again, and it still failed. We are seriously reconsidering our business relationship with your company!
Me: Do you mean you edited one of the orders like I showed you and it failed?
Client: No, I put through a new one! The checkout needs to be fixed NOW!
Me: We’re working on that, it’s a very complicated issue and it’s taking time to resolve. You haven’t received any other problematic orders and if you follow the instructions I sent you can get the order corrected and processed. Let me know if you need a hand with it.
Client: I put the order through again and it didn’t work. You need to fix this NOW!
* * *
Is it wrong that I’m having fantasies about heading over to this client’s place with a rocket propelled grenade launcher?