Denys Knows Nothing About Death Metal

Seriously, I know almost nothing about death metal. I can identify it when I hear it, but I am completely unable to distinguish good death metal from bad death metal, or identify or discuss any subgenres of the form that may or may not exist.

As such I have no idea whether The Satan of Hell by the Black Satans is a fine example of the genre, an excellent parody of the genre, or a load of old cobblers. What I can say however is the video clip is hilarious. It’s clear that the band simply got dressed up in leather and corpse paint, then filmed themselves piss-farting around in the Finnish woods. Observe…

The entire clip is ridiculous, but highlights include…

0:28 – Get funky!
0:43 – Going for a jog!
1:03 – Even more funky!
1:06 – Die tree! Die!
1:29 – Missed it by that much!
1:51 – Whoops!
1:53 – Hold! Hold! Now dance!
2:11 – Peekaboo!
2:44 – Snowball fight!

Great stuff! 😀

(For those who dislike the sound of machine gun drumming and gargling, try pairing it up with Yakety Sax. Works like a charm!)

Lol Film

lol film

It’s funny the influence advertising can have on the human brain.

Whenever I hear The Timewarp it take a conscious effort of will for me not to sing…

For perfect pictures,
In sixty minutes,
TAKE! IT! TO KO! DAK! EXPRESS!
(Two lines I have to mumble,
because I can’t recall the lyrics)
And albums too,
And so much more-or-or!
They’ve all you nee-ee-ee-eed,
To make your photos look their very best!
TAKE! IT! TO KO! DAK! EXPRESS!

There’s another song well known song (which I unfortunately can’t recall right now) that I can’t help but finish with Oh what a feeling! Toyota!

So, so sad 🙂

Later: God bless (or maybe condemn) the internet!

The Townsville Shuffle

This whole article reads like something out of The Onion.

”I’ve been in the whole hard dance/shuffling scene for quite some time,” Zach, 19, said.

Originally from Mount Isa, Zach moved to Townsville for work, and said he was surprised at how strong the shuffle scene was here.

”Being a DJ myself, I have experienced a lot of shufflers through two different towns,” Zach said.

”Most of the Townsville Shufflers go dancing at Bully’s at lockout when they play some of the hard dance music, which is what shuffling is basically good to dance with – hard beats and wicked melodies.”

Popery

Some facts about the new Pope…

  • The first non-European Pope in 1,272 years
  • The first Pope from the Americas
  • The first Pope from the Southern Hemisphere
  • The first Latin-American Pope
  • The first Jesuit Pope (which must be sending the conspiracy theorists into a state of nervous collapse…)
  • Is not named Peter (so much for Saint Malachy then…)
  • Has had some surprisingly decent things to say about the divide between rich and poor
  • Has said all the expected ultra-conservative things about women, homosexuality, contraception and abortion
  • May have been involved with kidnappings and other nefarious acts by the Argentinian Government
  • Isn’t likely to be terribly different to any other Pope ever

Le Docteur Est Dedans

So I was casting about for something to watch on TV last night, and noticed that there was an episode of Doc Martin scheduled on SBS 2. Naturally I abandoned all thought of watching anything else because, after all, Martin Clunes is so dreamy!*

So I switched over and ignored the subtitled episode of Inspector Rex that seemed to be running over long.

After about six minutes a few things occurred to me…

1: Inspector Rex is usually in German, while everyone on my screen seemed to be speaking French…
2: Since when has SBS run six minutes behind schedule?
3: Since when has SBS shown episodes of Doc Martin?
4: The people on screen seemed to be rather provincial looking types, wandering around a Breton fishing village while a grumpy looking man in a suit yelled at them…

Mon Dieu! Could it be?!

I raced to Wikipedia** to discover that not only was I, as I suspected, watching a French version of Doc Martin, but there are Spanish, German, Greek, Dutch and (possibly) Russian versions as well. It’s a goddam media empire!

Amazing! But no so amazing that it stopped me switching back to SBS 1 to watch Bear Grylls eat a rotting deer carcass.

* He’s not really, is he? Poor man…
** Yes, Telstra have fixed my phone line a few days before schedule. Don’t think this makes me like you Telstra!

Housekeeping

Mint for pillow?

Before I go offline for the weekend, some housekeeping…

The trains to Midland were screwed up yesterday afternoon, so I ended up walking along the rail line from the city to the liquor store on Guildford road from where I got a bus the rest of the way home. Annoying, but good exercise I suppose.

It’s state election day tomorrow! I have a horrible feeling Colin is going to get back in. After all, he – apparently – stands up to Canberra (this is about the only campaign slogan the Liberal Party seems to have). Vote early and often people!

I’m going to Oz Comic-Con this weekend to see William Shatner and Richard Dean Anderson. As observed by my colleague Daniel, if we could get them to fight it would solve all kinds of nerd arguments…

With my net access down I’ve actually been painting some of my 40k models. Much to my surprise they’re looking OK (latest pics at the end of the set).

Some more personnel have joined the Lego Tanith First and Only. Chiria, Costin, Dalin Criid and Lucky Bonin are all now fit and ready for duty.

Ummm, that’s about it I guess. See you next week…

Goodbye Telstra

On Friday my landline died. I called Telstra and was informed that the problem was at their end, and it would be fixed by Wednesday the 6th at the latest, free of charge.

Yesterday (the 6th), on getting home I found that my landline was still not fixed. I called Telstra to ask what was going on but the wait to speak to someone was estimated at 15 minutes, so I hung up and decided to call this morning at work.

I arrived at work and, literally as I picked up my mobile to call them I got an SMS informing me that ‘unfortunately’ the fix to my phone line has been rescheduled to Wednesday the 13th.

I am not going to rant. I am not going to rave. I am going to call Telstra up and calmly register my displeasure. Then, once my phone line is up and running again, I will be taking my business elsewhere. I will also be looking into what is required to register a complaint with the Telecommunications Ombudsman.

That is all.

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