Ghosts and Grunts

Extraorrrrrrrdinary tales of the undead

Many years ago, when I was in primary school, there was a book in the school library that caused a bit of a stir. It was a collection of (allegedly) true Australian ghost stories.

I can’t recall much about the contents. It probably included all the usual suspects such as Frederici at the Princess Theatre and Fisher’s ghost. But there was one chapter that started up a whole load of trouble – one about a bunch of quite terrifying events alleged to have occurred to a bunch of kids on a school camp at the Old York Hospital.

This caused quite a ruckuss. It was all anyone would talk about. In creative writing class, all anyone would write were stories about ghosts and (for some reason) ninjas and kung-fu on school camping trips to the Old York Hospital. The situation got so bad that the year seven school camp was cancelled out of fear that the students would run off to go ghost hunting (or possibly ninja hunting). The fact that it was a fairly conservative Catholic primary school with a dim view of all things “occult” probably didn’t help matters either – I think the book eventually vanished from the shelves never to be seen again before the whole thing eventually died down.

It did however leave me with a lifelong curiosity about the old hospital, and when a photographer on Flickr got in touch with me this week about the old Castle Fun Park in Mandurah, and I noticed some photos of the hospital in her photostream, I decided to do some research about the story I remembered as a kid. And I found the motherload!

First up I located a lengthy article about the events at the old hospital by one Miriam Howard-Wright. The article was published in a magazine, but I strongly suspect that the book that caused such a stir so many years ago was written by her, with the article reworked into the notorious York chapter.

I also found a fantastic old documentary about Australian hauntings up on YouTube. Broadcast in the 1980s it very likely sparked the Old-York-Hospital mania I remember so well. The video transfer is a bit off, and it’s heavily infused with a rather 1970s “the paranormal is now a serious subject of scientific enquiry” vibe, but it’s still a damn good watch. One of the most entertaining aspects of it is actually the accents – the narrator appears to be English (presumably on the basis that no one could possibly take a documentary narrated by an Australian seriously) and there are a couple of examples of the old “refined” Australian accent which is now nearing extinction (such as the woman at the info centre in the Rocks). The sheer preponderance of cigarettes also shows how much the country’s changed in the last 30 years.

Finally I stumbled over another documentary, this one from 2001, about Australia’s “Most Haunted Town” (apparently Kapunda). It’s hosted by Warrick Moss, who made his mark in the field by hosting 90s paranormal infotainment classic The Extraorrrrdinary (you have to say it like that – it’s the way he did it). It’s nothing particularly ground-breaking, but gets my vote for the second half, which consists almost wholly of shaky-cam, infra-red footage of Moss stumbling around in the dark, grunting (and swearing). Now that’s entertainment!

One of these days I’ll make it to York…

Together in Electric Dreams

Smart, but weird.

Man buys a computer to design a new kind of brick. Man spills champagne on the computer. The computer becomes sentient and goes all Fatal Attraction on him…

Yes, I’m talking about the movie Electric Dreams. It’s pretty stupid, but back in the first, early dawn of personal computing anything seemed possible. And as divorced from reality as the film may have been, it at least gave us this scene, which is one of the best classical/Eighties-electronic-pop mashups ever recorded.

(My new monitor is teh awesomes by the way)

Her Mother Teresa Young Humanitarian of the Year Award

It’s even funnier with an Irish accent.

I’ve really been enjoying Misfits lately.

For those not in the know, it’s British series about a bunch of young offenders on community service who get caught in a mysterious lightning storm and develop super-powers. If this were an American series they’d immediately start solving crimes, fighting terrorists and defending Freedom, but this is a British series, so they immediately start f’ing everything up and rather dark hilarity ensues.

I actually heard about the series a few years back and thought it sounded like something worth checking out. Then I didn’t. But then I stumbled onto the premiere of the second season about a month ago, and have been enjoying it ever since.

I won’t post any real spoilers, but will include an example of dialogue (from the most recent episode aired here) as an example of the general tone…

It was an accident! She was rubbing my cock and and then she starts foaming at the mouth and then she tripped and impaled herself on her Mother Teresa Young Humanitarian of the Year Award!

Yeah, Nathan gets all the best lines ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh hey, here’s the trailer.

Friday nights on ABC people! Be there or be a rectangular thing!

Thoughts on “Visitation”

Poor, poor Eli…

You know, Eli doesn’t have much luck with women. First he falls for a girl who just wants to be friends (and starts turning into an alien), then he falls for a girl who gets murdered, then he starts chatting up another girl and her head explodes.

Seriously, the women on Destiny would be well advised to keep their distance. The guy’s a major jinx.

Four Weddings and a Precious

Stupid Fat Hobbits!

Four Weddings is not a show I would consider watching in a million years, but the preview clip that’s been doing the rounds is hilarious.

Things I want to know…

a) Where in Hades did they dig up a Gollum impersonator?
b) How are the other brides completely unaware of who Gollum is?
c) Why do the other brides seem to think that theyย  have a right to complain about the wedding being “ruined” by having Gollum there? You know, given that it’s not actually their wedding?

And – for the record – while I think this is hilarious I would not invite Gollum to my wedding ๐Ÿ™‚

The Mind Boggles

Well, don’t we all?

There are some things you come across in life that, although puzzling, you really don’t want to know more about, because the explanations that occur to you are far more fantastic and entertaining than the reality could ever actually be. The speculation in your head is better than the facts.

As such I present this screen capture from Tyra Banks’ now defunct talk show Tyra

How could any real explanation for that be better than the ones you can make up?

Blood Pact

Blood for Book God! Skulls for the Abnett Throne!

My copy of Blood Pact arrived. Hooray! I’m about halfway through and was seriously concerned for a bit there that Abnett was going to kill Tona Criid. He hasn’t – yet – so I’m happy. For now.

It’s occurred to me while reading that if Daniel Craig isn’t available to play Gaunt in my theoretical TV/Movie adaption, Anthony Stewart Head could also do a very good job. And would probably be a bit cheaper ๐Ÿ™‚

Captain Fishface agrees!

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