The Alleged Confectionery

Against my better judgement I ate a doughnut from the much lauded Krispy Kreme today.

The dough tasted like medical waste, and the jam was like something extracted from a drum snuck out of chemical plant at three in the morning.

But here’s the weird thing. When eaten together the two horrible flavours cancelled each other out to the point where the alleged confectionery tasted not stomach-churning, but merely bland. Like sweetened, semi-congealed polyurethane wood glue. It was in fact quite edible – in the sense that you could chew it up and swallow it without any violent reactions from either taste-buds or gut.

I’d investigate this phenomena further, except that I have no desire to subject myself to anything from Krispy Kreme ever again.

Intimidated

For what it is, Skepta’s Shartdarn ain’t bad. It’s definitely got something. But get a load of the sample – taken from a caller to a British talkback radio show – at 1:50…

A bunch of YOUNG men, ALL dressed in black, dancing extremely aggressively on stage. It made me feel SO intimidated and it’s just NOT what I expect to see on prime time TV.

Seriously lady, if an image of people dancing on your TV makes you feel intimidated then you need to take a good hard look at your life.

What is this I don’t even…

A client is having problems importing data from Excel into one of our systems. They’ve provided (after much prodding) a sample file so I’ve asked them for details on exactly how they’re trying to import it – what options they select, etc. Today I got the following response…

“Yes, this is the one of the way to import file (not direct way), just copy and paste to suit Excel import format column, then import it.”

Even if that was written in comprehensible English I suspect it would not answer my question.

This is How the World Ends

According to the always entertaining and informative Jason Colavito there are people out there (OK, one person) basing their view of human history on not just a literal interpretation of the Bible, and not just a literal interpretation of the books left out of the Bible, but on game supplements for Vampire: The Masquerade. Which they apparently think are genuine historical documents.

That’s it. I’m out. Build me a rocketship because I’m heading to Mars to start human society over again.

Some Free Business Advice

Let us assume that you have a website, which is hosted and managed by a website company.

And let us assume that you decide you want a new website, hosted and managed by a different website company.

Let us furthermore assume that rather than inform your original website company that you’re going to terminate your business relationship, you decide to conceal the fact that you are having a replacement website built.

And finally let us assume that you decide to send a ‘Preview our New Website!’ email out to some of your customer database.

Well. You may want to check that the selection of customers you’re sending that email out to does not contain the email addresses of any developers from the website company you’re sneaking around the back of.

Unless of course you’re pathologically passive-aggressive or something…

It Begins

My landline is being very erratic. Telstra are going to come look at it, then decide whether they’re going to charge me for coming to look at it. Don’t know how often I’ll be able to hop online over the weekend, but it seems to be holding for now.

In any case, we’ve started on the road to H.O.L with the proposed foundation of Church and Munch.

Golden arches: Businessman wants to build McDonald’s in a church

A FAST-FOOD lovin’ entrepreneur has come up with a unique idea to entice people back into the Church.

Build a McDonald’s in it.

Paul Di Lucca’s McMass Project aims to get the congregation back by turning communion into a Happy Meal.

I believe there was a ‘rave church’ in London in the 90’s that offered communion in the form of consecrated Big Macs, but this really cuts out the middle man. Break out your Sponks!

How to Boost Your Flickr Stats

Put the word “Cock” into the description.

In the last two days my recently posted photo of Green & Co has had over 40 views from people searching for “cock”, “penis or cock”, “cocks”, “penis or cock or xxx” and other variations.

Seriously, if you’ve selected Flickr for your pornography needs you need to have a good, long look at your life choices.

Oh the Humanity!

This article is just too funny! I mean a Murdoch Journalist couldn’t possibly have a reason to criticise Netflix, could they?

FOR the past 12 months, Aussies have been begging for US TV and movie streaming service Netflix to launch in Australia. The company finally announced yesterday that it will be in March, but prepare to be disappointed.

Netflix in Australia will have a lacklustre library of titles, as shown by the fact that yesterday’s launch titles were mediocre at best and did not include any of the big exclusives that have garnered Netflix popularity, including House of Cards and Orange is the New Black.

Harry Tucker – loyal Newscorp employee – we salute you!

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