Author: Purple Wyrm

A Random Selection of Truly Excellent Lyrics

I drive ’round cities in a chariot,
I get preferential treatment at the Marriott,
— “Record Collection” Mark Ronson and the Business Intl

The New South Wales right have cocks like mastodons
— “Dicktatorship”, TISM

Now you’re the only one here who can tell me if it’s true,
That you love me, and I love me,
— “Kiss me, Son of God”, They Might be Giants

I don’t think there are any Russians,
And there ain’t no Yanks,
Just corporate criminals,
Playin’ with tanks,
— “The Walls Came Down”, The Call

You see the ANZAC legend neglected to mention,
The mud, the fear, the blood, the tears, the tension,
Dad’s recollection, beyond comprehension,
Didn’t seem quite real until we were sent in,
— “I was only 19”, The Herd

Überheblich, überlegen,
Übernehmen, übergeben,
Überraschen, überfallen,
Deutschland, Deutschland über allen,
— “Deutschland”, Rammstein

Music was a product, now it is a service,
Major record labels, why you trying to hurt us?
— “Download this Song”, MC Lars

I volunteered for the Army on my birthday,
They draft the white trash first round here anyway,
— “Copperhead Road”, Steve Earl

There is no horizon I cannot set my eyes on,
— “The Ocean”, Lemon Demon

God bless the people in New York when they were attacked,
God bless the children being bombed there in Iraq,
God bless the goddamn junkie with a monkey on his back,
God bless everybody under the sun,
— “Something’s Gotta Give”, John Butler Trio

Watching for signs in an empty sky,
We never thought that the rain would fall as the years went by,
— “Children of the Sky”, Mike Batt

Scatman, fat man, black and white and brown man,
Tell me ’bout the color of your soul,
— “Scatman’s World”, Scatman John

Is that what love is?
Two minds with different constellations
Fitting in to light up the sky
— “Octopus”, Alex the Astronaut

I met my bebop baby at the Union Hall,
She could dance all night and shake the paint off the walls,
— “And we Danced”, the Hooters

Tonight,
The sky above us,
Dark and wondrous,
How could you be unsure?
— “Wild Surf”, Ash

The Saga of Denys the Four Eyed

Right side of nose sore and inflamed from glasses nose-pad.

Visit doctor. Doctor says change to soft pads.

Visit glasses store. Gets pads changed to soft.

Right side of nose still sore and inflamed.

Decide I have to put up with it.

Start applying band-aids to protect side of nose.

Spend months applying band-aids to protect side of nose.

Right side of nose still sore and inflamed.

Today – take off glasses to apply band-aid. Glance at glasses resting on table.

Right nose-pad arm is bent inwards at about 45 degrees.

Carefully bend right nose-pad arm back to match left nose-pad arm.

Put on glasses.

Fit perfectly with no pressure on side of nose.

“OH, SON OF A…”

Music to Kill Frogs By

A frog monster – Painted and Photographed by Pijlie

No, not actual frogs! Actual frogs are awesome! Leave them alone. I’m talking about frog monsters, the recurring enemies of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense from Hellboy, and very specifically the frog monsters you encounter while playing Mantic Games’ Hellboy: the Board Game.

Back during the white-hot frenzy of the game’s Kickstarter (the conclusion of which I spent staying in a castle in Italy which proved disappointingly devoid of secret rooms, ghosts, and/or helpful skeletons) someone started compiling a playlist that would be suitable to whack on during a game session. I thought this a fantastic idea and made a number of suggestions which were duly incorporated, but was displeased to discover a whole bunch of songs that were CLEARLY AND ENTIRELY UNSUITABLE being included! It was OUTRAGEOUS and I immediately started compiling a list of PROPER songs, which has been slowly growing in the back of my head ever since.

It’s rather a short list. I can’t quite pin down the criteria for a suitable Hellboy song, but I know it when I hear it. It will likely have a gravel voiced singer, a lot of base and a general atmosphere of menace. Something of a country and western feel – without going too far into Hank Williams territory – is common. Lyrics with supernatural elements are obviously a plus, but are not essential.

I’ve posted my list here and will add to it as I discover more tracks. Suggestions are welcome, but don’t expect me to accept any of them!

Red Right Hand – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

The World Ender – Lord Huron

City of Dreams – Mickelangelo

Riders on the Storm – The Doors

Jesus Built my Hotrod – Ministry

Ghost Riders in the Sky – Stan Jones

The Devil Went Down to Georgia -The Charlie Daniels Band

Black Market – Bear McCreary

Road to Hell – Chris Rea

Ashes to Ashes – Steve Earl

Dragula – Rob Zombie

How’s it Gonna End? – Tom Waits

Bella Lugosi’s Dead – Bauhaus

Fallout 4 Main Theme – Inon Zur

Mars, the Bringer of War – Gustav Holst

Finally, if your players are leery at the idea of killing frogs then play them some of Froggy 2000. It’ll get them in the right headspace in no time…

Well that explains THAT

I had a really rough week mental health wise – feeling anxious, not sleeping well, all tired and stressed from not sleeping well, the works. I decided to have an early night on Thursday and was prepping the pills I take before bed (yes, I have reached that age) when I noticed that the paracetamol tablets I’d been taking weren’t just paracetamol…

They were paracetamol plus caffeine.

*sigh*

Favourite Music of the Primarchs

Art by Johannes Helgeson

Lion El’jonson
Primarch II
Fulgrim
Perturabo
The Khan
Leman Russ
Rogal Dorn
Konrad Curze
Sanguinius
Ferrus Manus
Primarch XI
Angron
Roboute Guilliman
Mortarion
Magnus the Red
Horus Lupercal
Lorgar Aurelian
Vulcan
Corvus Corax
Alpharius and Omegon
The Emperor

And a list, for when the YouTube links inevitably break…

  • Lion El’Jonson: Tocatta – Tanzwut
  • Fulgrim: German Sparkle Party – The Something Experience
  • Purturabo: Last Resort – Pappa Roach
  • The Khan: Dchingus Khan – Dchingus Khan
  • Leman Russ: Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran
  • Rogal Dorn: We Built this City – Starship
  • Konrad Curze: Behind the Mask Obscure – Limbonic Art
  • Sanguinius: Send me an Angel – Real Life
  • Ferrus Manus: Lucretia, My Reflection – The Sisters of Mercy
  • Angron: Down With the Sickness – Disturbed
  • Roboute Guilliman: Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 in F – Johan Sebastian Bach
  • Mortarion: Touch Me, I’m Sick – Mudhoney
  • Magnus the Red: Abracadabra – Steve Miller Band
  • Horus Lupercal: Dies Irae – Giuseppe Verdi
  • Lorgar Aurelian: Dies Irae – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • Vulcan: Anvil Chorus – Giuseppe Verdi
  • Corvus Corax: Tanzwut – Corvus Corax
  • Alpharius Omegon: Hello Goodbye – The Beatles
  • The Emperor: It’s Hard to Be Humble – Mac Davis

(We can observe an obvious correlation between baldness and preference for classical music)

I Watch the Room fill with Colombians…

Me, today, 8:30am as my bus mounts the curb to get around a decapitated cherry picker at the Mount Lawley subway:

Bet this is the wildest public transport event of my day!

Me, today, 6:30pm, crushed into a corner of a bus wedged full of Colombians in the middle of a hellish traffic jam:

Well shit

Close Bitnami banner
Bitnami