Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
The weather was nice yesterday and I needed some exercise so I decided to go for a walk.
My initial plan was to get the train to Success Hill and walk home along the river. Then I decided I didn’t have time for that, so I’d get the bus to Bindaring Park and walk along the river from there. Easy!
So that’s what I did – and staggered in half-dead three hours later having somehow not realised I was setting myself up for a trek of almost 9km.
Better than sitting around the house though I guess.
Not going to talk about the electoral apocalypse just yet.
I’ve always vaguely known that the Sisters of Mercy/Terri Nunn song Under The Gun is a cover/reworking of a Billie Hughes song, but I only just looked it up. Holy guacamole! It’s so 80’s synth-ballad it could be from the Ladyhawke soundtrack!
I am – as always – astonished at the level of talent that allows Andrew Eldritch to turn what we have above into a masterpiece while simultaneously being a complete (although highly entertaining and often surprisingly justified) dick to everyone around him.
Voting is well underway. Don’t screw this up America!
Later: Oh for fuck’s sake
Inspector Borse: Only solves murders in European stock exchanges.
Inspector Corse: The mouth on that man!
Inspector Force: Surprisingly gentle.
Inspector Gorse: Spends most of his time tramping around the moors.
Inspector Horse: The result of some misfiled paperwork at the Police mounted division.
Inspector Norse: Depressed, brooding and fond of drinking mead from a horn.
Inspector Sorce: Has a side job as a Sous-Chef
Inspector Worse: Ask for anyone else. Seriously.
Inspector Semaphore: We don’t talk about him.
Have found myself mildly obsessed of late with the extremely creepy ‘Black Star’ by Lustmord. Fifteen minutes of droning base, blaring horns and terrifying roars/screams. It’s downright elemental.
Fun Fact: The Escape Club’s “Wild Wild West” (1988) is the only video clip ever banned by the BBC for depiction of Biblically accurate angels.
First, there was this…
Then there was this…
And then there was this…
Let the sun fall into the ocean. Let the earth erupt in flame...
“A beast-like recipe for apple cider vinegar to lower blood pressure sounded from the bishop’s throat, and he threw himself on the Angel of Light.
What is priligy?”
Email spam is getting increasingly obtuse…
Hit by an APPALLING case of the runs Friday afternoon.
Glanced today at the tin of old fashioned ‘Fruit Drops’ I bought and ate half of on Friday morning because I have zero self control.
Oh, son of a…
Presenter: Has anyone heard of dopamine? Yes? A few of you. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical, and the thing about SMS messages is that every time you get one it gives you a little hit of dopamine!
Me, autistic and flooded with cortisol at even the THOUGHT of getting an SMS: Ok…
Presenter: So here’s what happens when you fill out a restaurant reservation using our AI system *fills out form*
SMS: Hi Presenter! Thanks for your reservation! We’re looking forwards to seeing you at 6:00 on Thursday. While we talking, would you like us to have a drink waiting for you when you arrive?
Presenter: So you see, you instantly get a response, and that generates that vital hit of dopamine which immediately begins building engagement!
Me: I just want my booking confirmed…?
Presenter: *types* That sounds great. Can I get a glass of Chianti?
SMS: No problem! A glass of Chianti will be waiting for you. Or if you prefer we can reserve the entire bottle for only $12. Would you also like an appetiser? You can view our appetiser menu at *link*.
Presenter: So you see with every interaction you’re generating more dopamine and making a connection with the customer.
Me: This is a nightmare.
Presenter: *types* I’d like some oysters and a garlic bread. Also, one of my friends is gluten free, what do you have for them?
SMS: We’ll have some oysters and garlic bread ready when you arrive! Our menu has a selection of gluten free dishes, have a look at it here *link*. Or our chef can prepare something specially, like a selection of braised vegetables. How does that sound?
Presenter: Now our aim is to get at least seven interactions via SMS, because our research shows that when you get to seven interactions the customer is fully engaged with your product.
Me: If I got seven SMSs from a restaurant I would die. I would literally die.
Presenter: *types* That’s wonderful. Thank you very much!
SMS: No need for thanks, we just want to make sure we give you the best dining experience possible! Would you prefer to be seated indoors or in our al fresco section?
Me: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
