Pre-tox De-tox Re-tox

Yaaarrr matey! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day ye scurvy dogs! Yaaarrrr…. Oh I give up,…

Yaaarrr matey! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day ye scurvy dogs! Yaaarrrr…. Oh I give up, I can’t do this at the moment.

For reasons far too tedious to explain I’m in the middle of a liver detox program. For the uninitiated this consists of avoiding everything that’s in the least bit tasty to eat for two weeks, avoiding all caffeine, and replacing breakfast each day with “Thermo Boost Detox” powder in soy-milk.

So essentially I’m in hell.

The biggest problem I’m facing is that I’m not allowed to eat gluten, meaning that grain based products are totally out of the question. This presents a major challenge because (what with my hypoglycemia) I should only eat low GI foods – which basically means grains. If you really want a fun time, go down to your local supermarket and try to find low GI, gluten free foods. It’s almost impossible. About the best you can do is specially processed (and rather expensive) rice. So not only am I starving and half asleep from caffeine deprivation, but my blood sugar is all over the place.

And don’t get me started on the “Thermo Boost Detox” powder. Do you remember that scene in one of the Austin Powers movies where Austin mistakes Fat Bastard’s faeces sample for coffee? Enough said.

I don’t think I’m going to last the full two weeks. I might see if I can make it to Saturday, and then throw the whole thing in. If I could do it without my blood sugar spiking up and down and making me feel like death, then I might stick with it – but it’s just too unbearable. Especially since there’s so much on at work at the moment, and I feel like sleeping for half the day.

Anyway, enough about me and on to some good news. As of this weekend my good friends Rebecca and Dom are the proud parents of baby boy named Jakob Zachary (I think that’s the correct spelling :). I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with the directly yet, but I believe all three are happy and well. So congratulations guys! 😀

Anyway, better get back to work… Arrrr!

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