Billy Idol

by Purple Wyrm on October 7, 2002

Is this funny or what? 😀

There are three football codes in Australia, Australian Rules Football, Rugby League and Rugby Union. Aussie Rules can be told apart from the Rugby codes fairly easily, AFL players wear tighter shorts, don’t run with the ball as much and the goal posts are completely different. The difference between League and Union however is a mystery lost somewhere in the vague hinterlands between Sydney and Brisbane. A mere Sandgroper can’t even begin to grasp it.

The reason I mention this is that yesterday (Sunday) was the NRL (Rugby League) Grand Final. It was between the Roosters (who may or may not be from Sydney, I don’t know and can’t really be bothered to find out) and the Warriors, from New Zealand (rugby is completely ridiculed outside of Queensland and New South Wales, so the league roped in some Kiwi teams to make up the numbers).

Anyway, Grand Finals demand grand entertainment. Unfortunately the league couldn’t manage this, and decided to make do with Billy Idol.

I kid you not, Billy Idol. Yes. Him.

So, they flew him out at enORMOus expense, held all sorts of press conferences, and to get the whole thing moving on the day, brought him into the stadium riding on a hovercraft* while the opening chords of White Wedding boomed around the stadium courtesy of the house band performing on the central stage.

So, Billy zooms around the field a few times, then hovers up to the stage where he struts up to the microphone in true rock star style*. “ARE THERE ANY ROOSTERS FANS HERE?!” he yells. “YEAAAHHHH!!!!!” scream the crowd dementendly. “ARE THERE ANY WARRIORS FANS HERE?!” he continues. “YEAAAHHHH!!!!!” answer the crowd even more dementedly. “DO YOU LOVE FOOTY?!?” he bawls. “YEAAAHHHH!!!!!” howl the crowd, now losing it completely. Billy gives a punk style sneer, grabs the microphone….. and the entire stage goes black and the band fall silent as the power cuts out.

Billy Idol is left standing there for five full minutes while technicians race around in the darkness screaming at each other. Then he and the band have to troop (or possibly hover) off without getting to perform, as the NRL powers that be have sent down the word that they have a game to play, they’re not prepared to wait any longer, and get those damn musicians off the field!

Now, I have nothing against Billy Idol. I sing along to Rebel Yell when it comes on the radio just the same as the next guy*. But come on! Could the timing possibly have been better 🙂


* I am not making this up.

* Somehow.

* Assuming the next guy is also a total dork.


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