Fading

Spawn of the Dark Lord

I did carry on a bit about Lady Sovereign on Monday didn’t I? Well here’s the sequel, as the whole So Human palarva reminded me of another controversial song…

If you ears can stand it, take a listen to this…

One Word – Kelly Osbourne

Doesn’t it sound a bit… familiar?

(Those of you who aren’t officianados of the 1980s may want to check this.)

Happily all ended well in this case. Kelly Osbourne’s song writers got their arses sued off and profits from One Word are now shared with the original writers.

Of course this doesn’t have a lot to do with So Human as Close to Me was used with permission. It just reminded me, that’s all.

But who’ll look after the graves?

I know, I shouldn’t mock the internet people.

Some comments from the news article Family sets sail for Australia like it’s 1854 on news.com.au today…

By 1854 every ship afloat was equipped with sextants and chronometers, which accurately measured latitude and longitude respectively and made navigation safe and reliable. If this bloke is “navigating by the stars” without even these instruments, he is not replicating an 1854 voyage, he is back in the age of the Vikings.

Posted by: chris of canberra

Chris of Canberra – read the article mate. They are recreating a voyage undertaken in 1854 by 7 people escaping from abject poverty. How were people below the poverty line in 1854 going to be able to afford a sexton and a chronometer. Navel chronometers were insanely expensive pieces of kit back when all clocks were mechanical.

Posted by: Badger of Melbourne

Badger of Melbourne – I’m currently planning a sea voyage myself and never stopped to consider the high cost of hiring church officials to take with me. Thanks for the heads up!

Posted by: Purple Wyrm of Sexton vs Sextant Land

I know I shouldn’t mock, but sometimes I just can’t help myself 🙂

This ‘science’ they speak of shall kill us all!!

Boo! Hiss! Hadrons!

Some thoughts…

  1. Anyone who thinks that the world will end when they flip on the Large Hadron Collider in a few hours is an idiot.
  2. Anyone who goes to the trouble of sending death threats to scientists to try and stop them turning on the Large Hadron Collider is doubly an idiot.
  3. Anyone who thinks that transposing the ‘r’ and ‘d’ to turn the Large Hadron Collider into the Large Hardon Collider is clever is triply an idiot.

That is all.

PS: Don’t even get me started on the 2012 crowd.

Sing and rejoice ye people of Televisionland!

The beginning of the end! As if.

For the dark one is cast down! And his empire ended until picked up by another network!

Well I was going to write about having a particularly Kevin Smithesque day – on the basis that I went into work even though I wasn’t supposed to, and I had to pick up a timetable for the number 37 bus (yeah I was stretching) – but this has been superseded by the wonderful news we were all hoping for.

Channel 10 has axed Big Brother!

To quote NASA – w00t!

Of course it will almost instantly be replaced by Gordon Ramsey’s Etiquette School or 20 to 1 Most Embarrassing Chainsaw Accidents or something equally inane, and there’s at least a 50/50 chance of it being picked up and reworked by another network – but for a little while we can rest in a state of blissful non-Big-Brotherness.

For tonight at least I shall sleep well!

I want my morphine!

Or maybe they think it’s a front for Al Quedea…

FACT: Australia has no R rating for video games.

This is something I’ve known about for quite some time, and – apart from a vague sense of annoyance at the Government being so backwards – it’s never really been something of much concern to me. In fact I have to admit I found myself quite amused a few months back by the frantic efforts of certain people to get hold of an uncensored copy of GTA 4. But all that’s changed now, because the Government has launched a direct attack on the Wyrm fortress.

They’re refused classification for Fallout 3.

Apparently the ratings board don’t like the game’s use of morphine injections to temporarily repair inured limbs, and don’t feel that they can give the game a MA15+ rating with this feature included. Now, the sensible thing to do would be to give the game an R rating and make it… oh, but hang on, there isn’t and R rating, so Fallout 3 will remain unrated, making it illegal to sell or rent the game within Australia.

Let’s all say it together. Idiots!

Now it may be that a chopped down version of the game – without morphine and anything else the censors may object to – will be released here. But that’s not the point. The point is that the Government is still stuck in the mindset that computer games are something played exclusively by children. I’m not going to carry on about how adults play games as well, and that responsible, sane adults can watch something on a screen without immediately rushing out to do it – that’s all been more than covered in the debate about GTA – I’m just adding my voice to the chorus of disgust at our elected officials still living in the dark ages.

Happily it’s not illegal to import, own or play the game, so I’ll be looking overseas for a copy. God bless the internet!

Ummm, apart from that my life has been pretty boring of late. I thought I had some other things to blog about, but I can’t remember a single one. I guess that’s what three straight hours of Gilmore Girls on DVD will do to you 🙂

Oh yeah, FreakAngels Google Earth file updated. DON’T MESS WITH JACK!!

Sumer Is Damn Well Icumen In

Do Not Touch!

So, some brainless dickheads have apparently decided that the preservation of one of the world’s most amazing ancient monuments is less important than having a chunk of said monument to put on their mantelpiece, or possibly hang around their weedy necks.

Jerks with Screwdriver prove they’re Jerks by Vandalising Stonehenge

As I see it, the only reasonable punishment for such an act is to (once the perpetrators are caught) call in the Druids, and re-enact the finale of the Wicker Man. Evil will be punished, it’ll discourage further souvenir hunting, and the Druids will finally be able to get back to that old time religion they haven’t been able to practice since the Roman invasion. Everyone wins!

PS: Yes, I’m well aware that the historical Druids had nothing to do with the construction of Stonehenge, but their modern counterparts are always hanging round the place so why not put them to some use?

PPS:Ten years. Hardly seems possible.

What Sean Did Next

ZARDOZ!! ZARDOZ!!

So, you’re a world famous actor playing a world famous character in a series of successful films, but you’re getting bored. So what do you do? Obviously the logical thing to do is quit, then star in a movie where you get to run around in a red nappy (with suspenders) shooting things, while a giant, floating, stone head yells about how a certain part of the male anatomy is evil…

Zardoz!

That’s footage from the 1974 masterpiece of insanity Zardoz, staring Sean Double-O-Seven Connory in his first major role after leaving the James Bond franchise. And giant stone heads vomiting guns isn’t even the half of it – you should see the theatrical trailer. It’s like three minutes of the worst drug trip you’ll ever have. How such a bizzare monstrosity ever made it onto the screen I’ll never know – unless it had something to do with the “star power” of Mr Connory combined with the incredible amounts of acid everyone was doing back then.

It’s too hot today.

Hang up the Translation Habit

Well I finally managed to track down the lyrics to Laisse Tomber les Filles by Fabienne Del Sol. The trick of course was just to search merely for the song title, not for the song title plus ‘Fabienne Del Sol’ – as it turns out it’s a cover of a (seemingly) quite well known song. Or at least there seem to be dozens of recordings of it by various artists stretching back to the 50’s.

So now I have my lyrics, and can happily sing along whenever it comes on the radio. Or at least I could if I knew how to pronounce French. I’m quite sure that French spelling is fairly straightforward and logical but being poisoned with insane English spelling from birth my brain just refuses to see how Je dirai c’est bien fait pour toi, Je dirai ça t’apprendra could possibly come out as “Zher deela sev ya papal twa, Zher delyes satep onwa”. Actually, despite being no expert in French, I suspect Fabienne may be slurring her words a bit. Not that I care, it still sounds great.

One thing I was unable to track down however was an English translation. Or at least I could track down the lyrics of an English cover – but the author had clearly decided to just take the title of the song (“Drop the Girls”) and write some completely new words around that theme to fit the tune, resulting in a song called “Hang up the Chick Habit”. This is eminently sensible – translating lyrics from one language to another isn’t that hard, but trying to maintain meter, syllabylisation (is that even a word?), and rhyme is a nightmare – but it wasn’t what I was looking for.

So, for my own edification and amusement I decided to prepare my own translation (with the assistance of Babelfish). It doesn’t attempt to be singable – just to give an idea of what the song is actually about. So, without further ado I present Give up the Girls (which has to sound less dated than Hang up the Chick Habit at least…)

Give up the Girls

A hasty and somewhat dubious English translation of the French song Laisse Tomber les Filles

Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
One day one is going to leave you,
Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
One day you’ll be the one to cry,
Yes I cried, but not today,
No I won’t cry,
No I won’t cry,
I’ll say that you deserve it,
I’ll say that’ll teach you,
I’ll say that’ll teach you,

Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
The ones you play cruel tricks on*This line could actually be “The ones that play cruel tricks on you“, but given the tone of the rest of the verse I decided to go with this lyric until someone tells me otherwise 🙂,
Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
You will pay one of these days,
One does not play with impunity,
With an innocent heart,
With an innocent heart,
You will see what I mean,
Before very long,
Before very long,

The chance gives up,
That which does not know,
That to leave the wounded hearts*I can make neither head nor tail of these three lines, so leave them as Babelfish translated them in the hopes that readers smarter than me can make some sense out of them.,
You won’t have anyone,
To comfort you,
You will not have stolen it*Another line I’m confused about 🙂,

Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
One day one is going to leave you,
Give up the girls,
Give up the girls,
One day you’ll be the one to cry,
To feel sorry for you there will be,
No one but yourself,
No one but yourself,
Then you will remember,
All that I told you,
All that I told you,

Then you will remember,
All that I told you,
All that I told you,

Then you will remember,
All that I told you,
All that I told you,

Cool Air

It’s 7:22am and I’m in at the office trying to figure out what the heck is happening with one of our clients (I’ve managed to track it down to a problem with the mail server). But that’s not what I’m here to write about, I’m here to write about the totally insane bus ride I just had getting here.

When I come into work early I catch the first number 97 bus of the day, which leaves Subiaco railway station at 7:00am – at this time of year just before sunrise. It was particularly chilly last night, and by the time the bus arrived even I (who generally prefers the cold) was looking forwards to getting inside where it would be a bit warmer. So I step into the bus and BLAM!! Struck down by a blast of icy cold from the air-conditioning. It was colder inside the bus than out!

Now when I say it was cold in that bus, I mean cold. Not cold like a chilly morning, cold like the air that comes rushing out when you open your freezer. Everyone flinched getting on, and a few muttered about it quite loudly under their breath, but the driver (who may well have been named Dr Mu̱oz) completely ignored them. He set off with the air-con still on full blast Рit was like travelling in the back of a refrigerated goods van.

OK, I’ve just checked a weather site which suggests that the temperature at 7:00am was about 4C. Which means inside the bus it must have been down around freezing.

Now I don’t expect bus drivers to be the most sane of people, but c’mon! That’s just ridiculous!

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