Category: Linguistics

Luftkissenfahrzeugversicherung!

Eidechsen und Seeschlangen

My good friend Rebecca is learning German. Hence the following email exchange today…

Sprechen du Deutsch? Was ist Ihre Meinung von der örtlichen Fußballmannschaft? Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug ist voller Aale!

Ja, spreche bitte Deutsch, mein Deutsch nicht so gut. Mein Meinung ist schrecklich, der ist kicken sie katzen. So, das ihr Luftkissenfahrzeugversicherung abdeckung Aalen?

Mein Luftkissenfahrzeug Versicherung deckt nur Eidechsen und Seeschlangen.

So, nicht so umfassend.

Der Aal Versicherung benötigt eine zusätzliche 30 Euro im Monat. Ich vermute, meine Versicherung gegen Fisch ist voreingenommen…

Achzo, Fisch Vorurteil ist sehr häufig.

Ich habe gehört, dass. Leider habe ich nicht der Ansicht, die Vorliebe von Aalen für unkonventionelle Fahrzeuge bei der Auswahl meiner Versicherung, weil ich nur mit meinem Hovercraft zu Lande bestimmt. Ich hätte nicht gedacht, sie würden die Migration aus dem Wasser, um es zu suchen. Jetzt muss ich Mitarbeiter ein Aal-Entfernungs-Dienstes.

(Disclaimer: I do not speak German, I just use a lot of Google Translate ;))

Imaginary Language Relay Number One

The Fable of the Ships
(After 8 rounds of translation)

A newly wed Bride went to visit a Wizard.

“Why do we call down the stars upon our ships?” she asked

“We put the stars on our great sails as lanterns to guide our ships to safe harbour” he answered.

“What about those that sink?” she asked

“When an evil sorceror climbs to a high point to cast a spell, he throws a burning brand into the sea” explained the wizard

“Can this magic only be done at night?” asked the Bride

“If I had only a little more knowledge I would turn you into a frog!” answered the Wizard

“That would be good” said the Bride


The Great Fleet
(Original Text)

A young girl was speaking with her Great-Father.

“Why do we call the stars the Great Fleet?”

“The stars are the mast-lanterns of the Great-Parents. They shine in the night to guide our spirits home.”

“And what of falling stars?”

“Sometimes when one of the Great-Parents climbs the mast to light the lantern they drop their taper and it falls into the ocean.”

“Then why don’t falling stars appear only at dusk?”

“Don’t be too clever little one, or the Great-Parents will turn you into a seal-pup!”

“I’ll be good!”

Make a daft noise for Easter

Penitet me.

Vide equus meus. Mirum est equum! Degustabis equus meus…

Sicut fructus uva passa gustat!

Quam cum iubis fit equum demulceri volatilis apparatus. Transfiguration Et vice versa cum trahitur phallus!

Obscena quod!

Ita putas? Non ego te certiorem unde fetus facta est sucus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus. Sucis dulcus!

Adepto in equum et ducam per totum mundum et ceteris omnibus!

Corrigendus est me vobis. Totum continetur totius mundi…

Mulier taceat! Adepto in meus equum!

Illusive

Maybe my opinion of journalists is a bit harsh

I can’t tell if this is a case of a journalist being rather clever, or a journalist being an idiot and backing into cleverness (‘pulling a Homer’ as it were).

Yesterday there was bit of a scare in London when a police training exercise involving an entirely fictional gunman running up and down Oxford Street somehow leaked out into the Twittersphere as warnings of a real gunman running up and down Oxford Street. An article on one of the news sites I peruse (I can’t remember which one, and frankly I don’t care enough to go back and try and track it down) reported on this situation, including a comment about “the illusive gunman”.

At first I assumed that this was a typically (typical for Australian online news sites anyway) illiterate misspelling of “elusive”. But as it turns out “illusive” is that rarest of things – an English word with which I’m unfamiliar! It means “illusionary” or “imaginary”, and is hence a perfect description of the gunman in this case.

So, did the author pick the word deliberately, or simply mean “elusive” and fall backwards into brilliance? I guess we’ll never know (and they’d hardly admit it if they did :))

A New Word

From the Latin

I came up with a new word today – Sterculient.  It’s an adjective that means “not very good” 😉

I’m having a rather rough time of it at the moment with the old depression and anxiety – hence the lack of updates. In fact I ended up at the emergency department the other night getting my heart checked out (as I suspected my heart is as strong as ever and the sudden burst of agonising chest pains I experienced was nothing but stress – but I figured I should get it checked out because I wouldn’t be able to sleep otherwise from wondering if I was actually going to wake up).

Only a few working days left until Christmas though, and then a glorious two weeks off, so I should be OK. Eventually.

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