Yours is the Sword of Michael!

My good friend Paula has had a really bad week, and is at me to compose something amusing to cheer her up. Unfortunately I’m just not up to it today, but I found this clip from The Venture Brothers freakin’ hilarious, so maybe it’ll help…

It stands up perfectly well on it’s own, but it’s even funnier (in a really, really dark way) when you realise that each member of the gang is modeled on a famous psycho. “Ted” is serial killer Ted Bundy, “Patty” is kidnap victim and Stockholm Syndrome sufferer Patty Hearst, “Val” is extreme-feminist and would be assassin of Andy Warhol Valerie Solanas and “Sonny” is David Berkowitz, the “Son of Sam”, who famously claimed he was ordered to kill by his neighbour’s talking dog.

Bizarre and disturbing genius!

Oh yes, carn the Dockers. Carn.

Chris Brown has Left the Building

Chris “I beat women for fun” Brown is apparently quitting the music industry. If I actually believed for a second that he’d stick to this I would issue a call for wild celebrations, but seriously, how long will it be before he’s making guest appearances on other shitty ‘urban’ tracks left right and centre?

In any case, I only mention this because it gives me an excuse to post one of the funniest YouTube vids I’ve seen in quite some time…

Urban polka is most definitely a concept whose time has come!

Tyra Banks is the Mind Killer

I have a high tolerance for crap. I mean I listen to the Legendary Stardust Cowboy for entertainment. I would happily watch Manos: The Hands of Fate without the MST3K commentary. But man…

Recently I’ve been listening to a very entertaining new podcast on the subject of medical history named Sawbones. Hosted by Dr Sydnee McElroy and her husband Justin, each episode covers a medical misconception that killed and maimed tens of thousands of innocent people over hundreds of years. Given that biology, medicine, history and insane extremes of human behaviour are favourite subjects of mine, I actually already know upwards of 80% of what they discuss, but I enjoy their presentation and interaction and as such have become a dedicated listener.

Over the weekend I discovered that they used to do another podcast, a TV oriented show named Satellite Dish. I checked out a few episodes and quite enjoyed them, so I subscribed. But then… oh the horror!

The last three episodes of Satellite Dish consists of Sydnee explaining to Justin the plot of Tyra Banks’ novel Modelland. I listened to the first of these yesterday, and it damn near killed me.

I don’t mean I almost died laughing. I mean the sheer inanity/insanity of the plot made me feel physically ill. My brain went into some kind of infinite loop trying to reconcile the plot with some semblance of reality or common sense, and crashed. By the end of the episode I was on the verge of a migraine headache and had to have a lie down. TYRA BANKS KILLED MY BRAIN!

I have stared into the abyss and it defeated me. I now understand what people mean on Reddit when they reply with “This post gave me cancer”.

I have deleted parts two and three of the review from my computer and have no intention of ever listening to them. The rest of Satellite Dish I have no problem with – I’m listening to an episode right now – but the final three are forever verbotten. Tyra Banks is the mind killer, and I have no intention of letting her particular brand of insanity pass through me ever again. Yeesh!

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