Tag: Pope

Pooches and Popes

On Monday (Australian time) the Pope died. So did my parent’s dachshund Rudy who managed to make it to 21, which is not just extremely good going for any dog but pretty close to the longest recorded lifespan for any dachshund.

Rudy was a good boy, but what about Pope Francis?

In my personal opinion Francis was one of the better Pontiffs of recent times – keeping in mind that the bar for Papal decency is simultaneously pretty low and disturbingly difficult for so many of them to reach. He made some good statements and implemented some good policies, while not being outstandingly horrible to the Vatican’s usual punching bags. With an institution as ancient, hidebound and prejudiced as the Catholic Church that’s about the best you can hope for.

So now the race is on for a new Pope. Unfortunately the prophecies of Saint Malachy have now run out, so we can no longer have fun speculating on which Cardinal best fits whatever nonsensical aphorism he (or a 16th century forger more likely) scrawled down. The big question is whether a progressive (for the Papacy of course) like Francis will make the cut, or if there’ll be a conservative backlash and we end up with someone only slightly to the left of Attila the Hun. There’s also the increasingly traditional speculation over whether they’ll choose someone from the global south, or go with yet another European.

Time will tell I guess. However the dice fall, as long as they don’t elect anyone named Peter the wider world will probably be alright.

Anyway, here’s the song I always think of whenever a Papal conclave rolls around.

Popery

Some facts about the new Pope…

  • The first non-European Pope in 1,272 years
  • The first Pope from the Americas
  • The first Pope from the Southern Hemisphere
  • The first Latin-American Pope
  • The first Jesuit Pope (which must be sending the conspiracy theorists into a state of nervous collapse…)
  • Is not named Peter (so much for Saint Malachy then…)
  • Has had some surprisingly decent things to say about the divide between rich and poor
  • Has said all the expected ultra-conservative things about women, homosexuality, contraception and abortion
  • May have been involved with kidnappings and other nefarious acts by the Argentinian Government
  • Isn’t likely to be terribly different to any other Pope ever

Paging Saint Malachy

Well, assuming I’m not delirious (my bronchitis has returned with a vengeance) Pope Benny is going to retire at the end of the month. Time to return to the Prophecies of Saint Malachy!

In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge the people. The End.

Well, that’s cheerful…

(For my previous take on St Malachy back in 2005 see here and here)