How to Greet a Scotsman

by Purple Wyrm on June 17, 2014

Should one spy a Scotsman and wish to extend the fellow a friendly greeting, utilise the following procedure…

1: Gain his attention with a loud cry of “Och Aye!”
2: Make eye contact. Maintain steady eye contact throughout the following steps.
3: After a pause of a few seconds, make a fist with one’s left hand and raise the corresponding arm up until it is level, pointing straight at the Scotsman’s face.
4: Stride forward purposefully and boldly with stiff legs until one’s fist is just short of the Scotsman’s face.
5: Announce loudly “Can’t see ye Jimmy!” in one’s best Scotch accent, and await the response of “Och Aye the Noo!” at which point polite conversation may commence.

In carrying out this time honoured tradition one will show oneself to be a ‘true highlander’ and gain the respect of all Scotch folk in the vicinity.


:)…hmm…To which you’ll get the time honoured Glaswegian reply..”Say, Jimmy…Doe’s ya mumma own a sewin’ machine?…..”
Closely followed by a trip to the A&E….

by Martin C on June 18, 2014 at 5:47 AM. Reply #

Well yes, there is that risk 🙂

by Purple Wyrm on June 19, 2014 at 9:16 AM. Reply #

Cha d’fhuaireadh facal Beurla mar

by Witch of the West on June 19, 2014 at 12:28 PM. Reply #

“A translation for your English wording was not found” ?

by Purple Wyrm on June 19, 2014 at 1:03 PM. Reply #

Oops. Translator program lied to me. Basically I was saying that I was having a good laugh of this post. 🙂

by Witch of the West on June 19, 2014 at 6:29 PM. #

Roughly…”Gone, but not forgotten..”

by Martin C on June 19, 2014 at 1:11 PM. Reply #

6. Brace your skull in expectation of receiving a Glasgow kiss

by Ryz on June 21, 2014 at 8:34 PM. Reply #

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