Do it Yourself Weeping Madonna!

by Purple Wyrm on September 9, 2002

Woo-Hoo! Perth has it’s own fair dinkum, true blue, gen-you-ine weeping madonna! Down in Rockingham apparently. It’s good to see human nature is the same as it’s ever been. First aniversery of September 11, lots of fear and anxiety around, and suddenly signs and portents start popping out of the woodwork. Great stuff!

The owner of the miraculous statue is refusing to have it examined, they’re leaving it up to the church. The church of course is keeping mum on the propect of scientific investigation. Not surprising, weeping statues are insanely easy to make. You can fill the head with liquid and poke little holes in the eyes. You can stand it in a pool of water overnight, then scrape away some of the varnish over the pupils. If you want blood, you can mix red paint into some lard and smear it lightly over the eye sockets, as it melts you’ll get very impressive tears. Simple! You can even make statues drink if you want, like that one of Ganesha a few years back in London that was rather fond of spoonfulls of milk. Easy. Ask me about the blood of St Genarius sometime.

Anyway, it’s been a while since I’ve written. I was planning to around Wednesday, but I had a horror day at work, and wasn’t up to it. The horror stretched over into Thursday and lingered into Friday, so I just watched TV in the evenings. And then I was busy over the weekend.

So what was this horror? OK, word of advice part one. No matter what you do, never drag the windows directory to somewhere else in the file tree.

Now, no intelligent person would ever do this anyway (unintelligent people are another matter entirely), but it is surprisingly possible to do anyway. Particularly if you’ve got a slightly wonky mouse. As I do.

Word of advice part two. If by some chance you do drag the windows directory out of place, don’t re-install another version of windows over the top. This makes it very difficult to get anything done until you re-install every single program. Even now I can’t use Internet Explorer, which normally wouldn’t worry me, but I need it for work.

Anyway I’m sick of dealing with it, and even sicker of talking about it. So I’ll change the subject 🙂

Synchronicity, there’s a good subject. During her holiday travels in Africa* Helen visited a museum full of three wheeled Morgans, and some time in the last 24 hours or so wrote as such in her weblog. So, what did I see happily motoring it’s way down the road yesterday? A three wheeled Morgan. At least I presume it was a Morgan, I don’t know that there’s too many three wheeled cars around. I might have been able to make a completely positive ID, but the driver looked like exactly the sort of smug type who’d get a kick out of people gawping at his car as he sped past, and I didn’t want to give him the pleasure. So I just looked sideways. But it was definately a three wheeled vehicle with a front like a vintage racer and a back like a torpedo. And that’s good enough for me.

In other worldwide “Woo-Hoo!” news (to not so much change the subject as jump right back to the start), Russia, China, Canada and Japan are all onboard with Kyoto, which means it’s almost certainly going to come into effect. Finally! It’s about bloody time frankly. Of course the US is still holding out, which is typical, Bush seems to think his job is not just running the USA for the benefit of Americans (which is after all his job), but running the entire world for the benefit of Americans. Anyone else (Pacific islanders for instance) can apparently go to hell.

And we’re holding out too, but that shouldn’t surprise anyone. The Howard government are a bunch of (sensitive readers will have to excuse my language here, but this is something I feel pretty damn strongly about) short-sighted, self-righteous pricks who’s heads would be firmly buried in the sand if they weren’t so irretrevably wedged up their own arseholes. Johny’s so terrified of George Dubbya that our entire foreign policy is pretty much controlled from Washington – when the white house says “Jump” the Australian Government doesn’t even bother asking how high.

And what makes it so doubly ridiculous is that Australia is so well positioned (both geographically and technology-wise) to be a world leader in solar power. If the Government would just throw a little bit of the money they’re spending on defending their stance on Kyoto towards alternative energy research we could make some breakthroughs and export solar technology to the world. But no, Howard’s far more interested in building a new nuclear reactor (on an earthquake fault in the middle of Sydney, yeah that’s a smart idea), and in addition to drowning the Pacific islands irradiating them by shipping spent fuel rods to Argentina. Add to all of this the Government’s record on welfare, indiginous issues and refugee rights and it’s enough to make me ashamed to be Australian. I think I’ll start pretending to be a Kiwi or something.

In not so “Woo-Hoo!” news there’s still no sign of my Shivaree CD. No dance of joy for me. I’m increasingly worried they might have delivered it to Unit XXYY Any Street as opposed to Unit XX, YY Any Street*. In all probability some complete Philistine* is listening to it, and not appreciting Ambrosia’s vocals anywhere as much as I would. I think I’ll chase up the Carthagians* at Sanity if it doesn’t turn up tomorrow.

OK, to quote the KLF, Over and Out.


* An in joke so obscure that even she’s unlikely to get it 😉

* Yeah, like I’m actually going to publish my address.

* They were actually quite a civilised people. Descendants of the Minoans. They just got on the wrong side of the authors of the Bible, that’s all.

* Now they had problems. They used to sacrifice babies you know. True. Although maybe not in a giant brazen ox like the Romans claimed. Like they could talk.


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