Paging Saint Malachy

Well, assuming I’m not delirious (my bronchitis has returned with a vengeance) Pope Benny is going to retire at the end of the month. Time to return to the Prophecies of Saint Malachy!

In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit Peter the Roman, who will nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful judge will judge the people. The End.

Well, that’s cheerful…

(For my previous take on St Malachy back in 2005 see here and here)

Just another day at the coal face…

Client: Since you built my new website my Google rankings have tanked!
Us: OK, well if that’s true we’ll need to have a look at the structure of the site and the quality of your backlinks…
Client: No! My SEO Company says it’s because you have 70 words in my title tags and there should only be 60!
Us: Well, that’s not really the case anymore, Google takes a lot of factors into account…
Client: I’m paying them $5,000 a month so they must know what they’re talking about! I demand my money back! I demand you fix it free of charge! You don’t know what you’re doing! You should be ashamed to call yourselves a web design company!
Us: All right, give us a few days to look over the site and we’ll get back to you with a plan to address your complaints.
Client: You’d better, or I’ll sue!

We run a backlink analysis for the site. It comes back with thousands of comment spam links, over half of which are from porn sites.

Client: Well? What are you going to do to fix your mistakes on my site?
Us: Actually, as you can see from these reports your Google rank has collapsed because your site has thousands of low quality incoming links, most from comment spam and most of those from pornography sites. Google is really penalising this kind of thing nowdays.
Client: … I need to have a word with my SEO company…

As a wise man once said, there’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.

What If? Wyrmworld Style!

Not only is XKCD a wonderfully enjoyable webcomic, but every Thursday its author, Randal Munroe, answers crazy physics problems submitted by readers in his What If? section.

For a while now, I’ve been trying to think of something to send in, and just recently came up with one. But then I realised it was a question that I was perfectly capable of answering myself, if I got off my arse and did some research and some maths. So I did.

If all the excess carbon released into the atmosphere since the start of the industrial revolution was compressed into a sphere of pure diamond, how big would it be, and if it were placed into orbit would it focus a death ray of concentrated sunlight down onto the planet?

First step, how much carbon has been added to the atmosphere? According to Wikipedia about 12 Gigatons was released from 1751 to 1900, then a further 334 Gigatons from 1900 to 2008. Adding these together comes to 346 Gigatons, which is as good a figure as any. (It’s important to note that this is just the carbon – not the carbon dioxide containing the carbon. If it were the carbon dioxide we’d have to divide the weight by 3.67 to get just the weight of the carbon.)

The next step is to determine the weight to volume ratio of diamond, so we can figure out how much space 346 Gigatons of carbon would take up when arranged into its crystaline form. Some more poking around online provides a density figure for diamond of 3.52 grams per cubic centimetre. There are 1,000,000 cubic centimetres to a cubic metre and 1,000,000 grams in a ton, so the maths is nice and simple (gotta love the metric system) telling us that 1 cubic metre of diamond weighs 3.52 tons.

To get a volume for our 356 Gigatons of diamond we simply need to divide 346,000,000,000 tons by 3.52 tons – which leaves us with a volume of 98,295,454,545.45455 cubic metres, or 98.29545454545455 cubic kilometres.

So we now know just how much space our chunk of diamond takes up, but so far it’s just sitting around in a roughly shaped blob. We need to reshape it into a sphere.

The formula for the volume of a sphere is v = (4/3)πr^3, where r is the radius of said sphere. Turning this inside out we can derive r = (3v/4π)^(1/3). Plugging the volume figure in gives us a radius of 2.86296 kilometres. Doubling this for the diameter gives us sphere of pure diamond 5.72592 kilometres across – roughly the distance from New York City’s Battery Park to 33rd Street or from London’s Tower Bridge to the cafe in Hyde Park.

That’s one big diamond.

On to the second part of the question – would this diamond project a death ray? To figure this out we need to discover the focal length of the sphere – that is the distance from its centre to its focal point – the point where the light passing through the sphere is focused. The formula for this is pretty simple – EFL = nD/4(n-1) where EFL is Effective Focal Length, n is the refractive index of the material the sphere is made from, and D is the diameter of the sphere. We already know the diameter and Wikipedia assures us the refractive index of  diamond is 2.419. Solving the equation gives us a focal length of… 2.440274926004228 kilometres. Wut?

Yes folks! It turns out that the focal length of a sphere made of diamond is always less that its radius, meaning that the focal point is always inside the sphere! No death ray for you!

So in conclusion, if you could pull all the excess carbon out of the atmosphere, turn it into a diamond and launch it into orbit you would save the planet’s climate, but you couldn’t use it blackmail major population centres. Hardly seems worth it does it? 🙂

(yes, yes, you could shape the diamond into a lens instead and blackmail all the cities you want, but the maths required is just horrible ;))

What Happens in Vegas

Because I’m the sort of person who gets obsessed by stupid wastes of time, I’ve spent far too many hours over the last couple of weeks plotting locations from the computer game Fallout: New Vegas into Google Earth. Not content with simply plotting the easy ones, I’ve been obsessively researching the more obscure places and turned up some interesting information that doesn’t seem to have been posted online previously. So what better place to put it than on my blog?

Gypsum Train Yard: The Gypsum Train Yard appears to be based on the Pabco Gypsum facility to the east of Las Vegas. This so obvious that I’m surprised it doesn’t seem to be recorded anywhere.

Morning Star Cavern: This cave is fairly close to the abandoned Morning Star Gold Mine.

Walking Box Cavern: This cave must have got its name from the nearby Walking Box Ranch.

Samson Rock Crushing Plant: This facility may well be based on the Las Vegas Paving Corp aggregate plant in Arden. It’s southwest of McCarran Airport and adjacent to the railway line, just as in the game.

Some other fun stuff I found. The entrance to Fort McCarran is based on the historic entrance to the airport – located on South Las Vegas Boulevard just south of the Fabulous Las Vegas sign. A bit further west on I-15 is a giant Miller Beer bottle, which might well have influenced the entrance to the Sunset Sasparilla factory. The game states that Freeside is located around the intersection of Freemont Street and Las Vegas Boulevard – what do you find there? A gateway just like the one near the Atomic Wrangler. Jacobstown is not just located on the slopes of Mount Charleston, but is clearly modeled on The Resort on Mount Charleston, even down to the big sign at the entrance.

There’s no doubt plenty of other stuff to be found, but I’m all burnt out on it now 🙂

The Memory Palace

By way of apology for yesterday’s Fadades Freakout, please let me point one and all to the Memory Palace podcast.

Short little snippets of history that vary between evocative, educational, melancholy and amusing, while never failing to be fascinating. Just the thing for soothing the mind after the ravages of La Colère de Ramsès

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