Eleven and Half Men

The Television Event of the Century

Now that Charlie Sheen has gone completely mad and declared himself some kind of Vatican-sanctioned assassin-warlock the question arises of what to do with his bizarrely popular sitcom Two and a Half Men. The sensible option of course would be to spare us all and axe it, but while there are ratings to be had CBS will probably try and keep it going, either by writing Sheen’s character out, or by re-casting him Darrin-from-Bewitched style. There’s been talk of Rob Lowe taking over the role, but my workmate Daniel has come up with a much more interesting option…

Commission 10 more episodes to wrap the series up, then hire 10 high profile guest stars, each of which portray Sheen’s character in one episode! Genius!

They could get Rob Lowe for the first ep, then work their way through whatever luminaries they could get by dangling Sheen’s massive paycheque in front of them. Think of the possibilities! Nic Cage! Ice T! Robert Downey Junior! Rich Hall! Russell Brand! Emilio Estevez! Even (for a laugh) Jane Lynch! And then for the big finale that ends the series – William Shatner! It’d be the biggest television event in years – the ratings would soar!

This is something CBS simply must do. Let’s get the letter writing campaign started today!

3 thoughts on “Eleven and Half Men”

  1. That would be horrendous television, which is a kinder assessment than the brainless train-wreck of a show it currently is. I’d still watch the Shatner episode, though.

  2. Well that’s the point – all 10 episodes would be taking the absolute piss out of the show – saying “Hey, this show is so shit that you can just drop anyone into it”. Shatner would merely be the magnificent coup de grace.

  3. Well, the thought did occur to me that you could use the Sheen family and the Baldwin brothers to fill in the gaps. Keeping it all in the family so to speak? Or is that taking nepotism a little to far?

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