Ah, crushes! Where would we be without them? A lot better off if you ask me.
I don’t know about other people’s views (hey, that’s pretty much the definition of aspergers 😉 but personally I find crushes really inconvenient. They’re like a lingering cold. They show up out of nowhere, make life difficult, and take forever for you to get over. If there was a vaccination against them I’d get it.
I currently have quite a collection of crushes. None of them very serious – it’s been a few years since my last really bad one – but all of them just strong enough to be tiresome. Let’s see…
OK, there’s the redhead on the morning train who’s always dressed in black. There are three on the morning bus – the tall blonde who gets off at the hospital, the brunette geek who gets off at the dental college (although I haven’t seen her for a while) and there’s the very classy looking redhead who carries on towards the university. There are two women at the office – details of whom I’m not going to include lest anyone at the office reads this. There’s the sweet and friendly strawberry blonde at the sandwich shop, and her asian colleague. And there’s the shorter blonde on the afternoon bus.
The only two of these women that I’ve ever actually spoken to are the ones at the sandwich shop. They’re both very nice girls – insofar as I can tell from buying rolls and salads from them. The strawberry blonde and even talk a little bit now and then. Nothing major, just general small talk while she’s getting my change. Mind you, that’s falling off a bit recently because I can never actually think of anything to say to her. That’s one of the problems with being a socially inept aspie – you’re not much use at holding up your end of a conversation.
So she says something friendly, I’m lost for words, and I end up slinking away feeling lower that dirt. As a result every trip to the sandwich shop is a roller coaster of anxiety, stress and disappointment, only slightly mitigated by the fact that the food is pretty damn good.
This is what crushes do to me. Can you see why I’m sick of them?