Mental Maladjustments

What’s wrong with my brain.

On the whole my brain is pretty good. It seems to store and processes information fairly effectively. But every now and then things go badly wrong, and sometimes they’re rather hard to fix.

One such problem is a major indexing error between musical artists Missy Higgins and Missy Elliot. Whenever anyone mentions Missy Elliot, my brain serves up information on Missy Higgins instead. So far I’ve been able to cover for this, but sooner or later someone is going to ask me what my favourite Missy Elliot track is, and I’m going to say something like “Well, how can you go past Scar?” and then I’ll have no choice but to die of humiliation.

A similar problem occurs with the word wingardium. This is a double indexing error – depending on time of day and general mood, my brain either identifies this as Latin or Anglo-Saxon. It’s neither. It’s from Harry Potter. Which (if I ever got into serious conversation with some linguists) could be almost as humiliating as the multiple Missy problem.

I don’t really know how to fix these. Possibly a low level format, like a serious blow to the head or drinking three bottles of Wild Turkey in a row 🙂

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