On France

France is a pentagonal country located in Western Europe, South America, the Caribbean, the Pacific and Indian Oceans, Antarctica and near Canada. In the middle of France is an island called France. In the middle of the island is a city. In the middle of the city is an island and in the middle of the island is a hunchback. The city is called Paris, and has nothing to do with the Trojan War.

Paris has an iron tower, a painting of a lady, tunnels lined with skulls and Jim Morrison.

Three languages are spoken in France, French, Breton and Occitan. Nobody understands Breton and nobody speaks Occitan. French people walk on stilts and sleep all winter. They will kiss you whether you want them to or not.

France was founded by Charlemagne who owned an elephant and was the grandson of a hammer. He shed the blood of the Saxon men. France famously killed their king and then set up new kings all over Europe to say sorry. They surrendered to Hitler in World War II, but you probably would have as well.

England and France fight all the time, except when they’re friends.

If French people don’t kiss you, they may instead blow you up. Boum!

That is really all you need to know about France.

Some Free Business Advice

Let us assume that you have a website, which is hosted and managed by a website company.

And let us assume that you decide you want a new website, hosted and managed by a different website company.

Let us furthermore assume that rather than inform your original website company that you’re going to terminate your business relationship, you decide to conceal the fact that you are having a replacement website built.

And finally let us assume that you decide to send a ‘Preview our New Website!’ email out to some of your customer database.

Well. You may want to check that the selection of customers you’re sending that email out to does not contain the email addresses of any developers from the website company you’re sneaking around the back of.

Unless of course you’re pathologically passive-aggressive or something…

Waiting for the Royal Dawn

So, it turns out that I had the lyrics of M83’s brilliant Midnight City completely wrong.

I thought it went…

Waiting for the call,
Waiting for the royal dawn,
Tonight the city grows,
Who can see the royalty glow?
Waiting for the call,
Waiting for the royal dawn,
Drinking in the love,
Following the neon signs,
Waiting for the world,
Looking at the mutated skyline,
City is my church,
It wraps me with sparkling twilight,

Which sounds downright mystical. But in actual fact it goes…

Waiting in a car,
Waiting for a ride in the dark,
The night city grows,
Look and see her eyes, they glow,
Waiting in a car,
Waiting for a ride in the dark,
Drinking in the lounge,
Following the neon signs,
Waiting for a roar,
Looking at the mutating skyline,
City is my church,
It wraps me in the sparkling twilight,

Which is OK, but more…. mundane than I figured.

Oh well, It’s still a damn good track, and I’ll still sing along with my words! 🙂

The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter II, The Shadow of the Past

‘I can’t understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death.’

‘Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.’

— Frodo and Gandalf discuss Gollum. The Fellowship of the Ring, Chapter II, The Shadow of the Past

A Windmill full of Corpses

Spent much of the weekend down in Busselton at Ryan and Jackie’s place, along with Fabes who was kind enough to drive us both down there and back. Rather than appreciating the natural wonders and relaxing pace of the southwest, we spent all our time indoors playing games. Well, that’s the people we are, what are you gonna do?

The big hit of the weekend was Cards Against Humanity. I’ve been wanting to get a copy for ages and Paula was kind enough to give me one for my birthday, so we tried it out. The results were appalling, which is exactly what they should be. Good taste (and the fear of being raided by the Federal Police) prevent me from repeating the best combinations we came up with, but I can share a few of the slightly less offensive ones that had us in hysterics…

“When I was tripping on acid, an endless stream of diarrhea turned into the cool refreshing taste of Pepsi!”

“Bad life choices + a robust mongoloid = my sex life”

“Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors, and here is a windmill full of corpses”

Such fun! We also learnt about Aaron Burr, object permanence and the three fifths compromise, so you can’t say it’s not educational!

Changing course entirely, here’s an unreleased KLF track I stumbled across the other day. It’s from 1989, was the basis for Last Train to Trancentral and Wichita Lineman was a Song I Once Heard, and is awesome! So everyone, Go to Sleep.

Reflections

One of the most important things a parent can provide to their child is consistency.

I recall an incident from many years ago, back when I was a kid and still living at home. It was a Good Friday, and as good Catholics my brother, mother and I were fasting and abstaining from meat. Doing so makes for a pretty miserable day, but there was one thing that made it bearable, which was having a decent feed of fish and chips when dinner time came around.

So we phoned through and placed an order (nice and early, Good Friday being the peak day for fish and chip consumption nationwide) and Dad went off and picked it up. He bought it home and in the kitchen he and Mum divided it up onto the plates. I grabbed mine, and reached for the tomato sauce, only to be prevented by mum who in a very serious and pious voice declared that fancy condiments were forbidden on the day of Christ’s crucifixion, and that the only salt (representing the world’s tears) and vinegar (like that offered to Jesus on a sponge and hyssop stick) would be permitted.

So I doused my food with salt and vinegar and went off to watch TV.

A year or so later Easter again rolled around, and again we fasted and abstained until dinner time when Dad went off to pick up the fish and chips. Once again it was divided into portions and as I waited to grab the suitability pious condiments of salt and vinegar I was somewhat shocked to see Mum smear tartar sauce all over her fish, then reach for the tomato sauce bottle. In puzzlement I suggested that we should only have salt and vinegar on Good Friday, and Mum looked at me like I was insane.

It was one of very few occasions when I lost a bit of respect for her.

My brother and I had quite a strict Catholic upbringing. I didn’t actually realise this for many years, not until my brother mentioned it – ruefully – at a party. My imediate response was to laugh and declare “as if!”, but on thinking about it I realised – to my surprise – that he was right. We were sent to Catholic school. We attended church every Sunday morning and all through Easter. We were both enrolled as altar servers and inducted into the Guild of St Stephen. We received all the Sacraments when they came around. We said prayers every night, and instead of bedtime stories we got read the Bible from end to end. It would be hard to imagine a more Catholic upbringing without involving a drunken Irishman whipping us with a belt for the Sin of Disobedience.

Skipping church was, of course, a big deal. The only excuse was serious illness. I recall one Sunday towards the end of my schooling when I had a big exam coming up and I declared that I couldn’t go to church because I had to study. It took a good twenty minutes of arguing before Mum backed down, and even then she was in a foul mood all day and had Dad keep checking on me to make sure I was actually studying rather than goofing off.

In spite of occasional incidents like the former, my upbringing never really rankled with me. Call it autistic, but I accepted this state of being as the only possible state of being. I was born already having drunk the Kool-Aid. My childhood was one of earnest piety, and religious conviction followed me well into my teens – even as I modified my beliefs to deal with irreligious friends and raging hormones. I tend to think of myself as a rational being, and remember myself as a rational teenager, but I can also recall thoughts that seem quiet strange and alien to me now. Worrying about the immortal soul of a girl I had a crush on who was known to be sexually active, or being both shocked and saddened when my friend Ryan stopped going up to Communion at school masses.

Religiosity also affected my social life, or lack thereof. For much of my teens I tried to avoid romantic entanglements on the basis that they could only lead to temptations that couldn’t be fulfilled, sex before marriage being a dreadful sin and something I would never do. The lack of dating and social experience resulting from this philosophy turned it into something of a self fulfilling prophecy – by the time I revised my views it was too late to be the gawkish, shy, inexperienced guy, a problem that still has an effect on my romantic endeavors to this day.

My brother, I think, had it worse however. Where I was happy to spend much of my teen years as some kind of contemplative monk, he rankled under the rules and restrictions.He was social and outgoing, having his behaviour tested and scrutinised through a religious lens must have been excuciating. On top of this, coming to terms with the fact that you’re gay is not easy for any teenager, let alone one raised in a Catholic household and attending a Catholic school. Discussion of feelings and emotions is just not done in our family so I don’t know the full scope of his suffering, but I knew at the time that he had some kind of problems, and looking back I see that they must have been awful. I don’t think that I was much help either, floating along in my self assured little cloud. The depression and anxiety that I’ve been bedeviled with since my early twenties really makes me despise some of the ignorant attitudes towards mental suffering that I had – and expressed – as a teenager.

So, here we are at another Easter. I no longer consider myself a Catholic, I’m more of a sort of agnostic-pantheist who believes in a Deity but will happily admit that no hard evidence for such a Deity exists, and therefore I could very easily be completely deluded. I’ll more than likely attend church at some point this weekend, if only to hold up the traditions and to keep Mum happy. Then I’ll eat my chocolate and wish good to all those who wish good unto others.

Happy Easter!

So that was April Fools

Joy!
Joy!

So, did you think spammers had taken over the Wyrmlog? Did you? Almost certainly not, but hey, at least I did something.

In any case, for an Easter treat pop open this link in a new window, and watch the gif to the right. Isn’t that most perfect combo of sound and vision you’ve ever encountered? 🙂

(Assuming YouTube doesn’t stick an ad on front)

Konopka accepted responsibility for positive test!

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The most remote inhabited island in the world offers a different kind of island adventure than what you may have already experienced in the Caribbean.Think of an island vacation and rum drinks on a sandy beach probably come to mind. Think of Easter Island and those giant heads probably come to mind.But Easter Island 锟?Rapa Nui to the natives 锟?offers a chance to combine plenty of relaxing island adventures with visits to fascinating archeological sites. The island is a World Heritage Site. You锟絣l never think of the island as just 锟絫hat place with giant heads锟?again.The island is small enough that in several days you can visit all of the most important sites and get a true grasp of what is known of the island锟絪 history 锟?while still having plenty of traditional island fun and relaxation. Do pay for an English-speaking guide to take you around. Various packages are available and are worth the cost.The island got its name when Dutch explorers spied the island on Easter 1722. Thinking there might be gold under the moai, they topped a few of them but found only bones.Toppled moai, the Rapa Nui believe, must be left where they fall. Most were brought down during civil wars by the islanders themselves, but in modern times some of the moai have been restored to an upright position because it锟絪 difficult to attract tourists with fallen statues 锟?and tourism is obviously what fuels the island economy.Some of the moai are topped with a red pukao, made of a different stone from a separate quarry.The best time to visit Rapa Nui is during Tapati, which takes place the first two weeks in February. More than just a festival, it is a series of contests in which the people compete in dancing, sports, and in depictions of native dress. That the culture has been preserved is remarkable considering the island锟絪 history. At one point, the native Rapa Nui were taken into slavery and only a small number remained alive when the survivors were ultimately restored to the island. Also notable to the island锟絪 history is that the earlier inhabitants had completely deforested the island and had hunted to extinction the nesting birds that were so important to their way of life. (For more on the history of the island锟絪 ecological collapse, see Jared Diamond锟絪 2005 book, 锟紺ollapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed.锟?To get to the island, you锟絣l likely fly in from Santiago, Chile, although there are a few flights from Tahiti. Combine your time in Easter Island with a stay in Santiago, where you锟絣l find plenty of things to do, from hiking and horseback riding in the Andes to visiting museums and historic sites.

Page 2 of 2 – Here are just a few of the don锟絫-miss sites on Rapa Nui:锟?Anakena Beach is one of the most beautiful beaches in the world and the only one on which you will be able to sunbathe while pondering a row of moai standing sentinel. Legend has it that the Polynesian people leaving their home island after a volcanic eruption sought this island after having a vision and first landed on this gorgeous beach.锟?Ahu Akivi is the only place where the moai will be found facing the ocean. The seven standing moai represent the seven professions of those sent to colonize the island: fisherman, astrologist, farmer, doctor, sculptor, writer and architect, according to one tour guide. The seven are lined up to face the sunset during the equinox.锟?Akahanga contains toppled moai as well as village remains. Stone foundations show where their dwellings once stood and rings of stones mark where they built fires so they could use hot stones to steam fish and vegetables wrapped in banana leaves. A small cave shows where villagers hid in times of danger.锟?Rano Raraku is the quarry where islanders somehow carved the large moai, weighing around 80 tons, and then transported them to various sites all over the island. Over time, the size and the craftsmanship of the moai increased. There are moai in various stages of production here, from some that were never completely quarried to others that toppled over during transport 锟?meaning the islanders would have to start fresh on a new carving.锟?Orongo means 锟絟earing the message锟?and refers to the practices of the Birdman Cult that seemed to gradually overtake the ancient ancestor worship associated with the moai. Each year, young men would come to this ceremonial center for six months, preparing for the perilous contest of scaling a dangerous cliff down to the sea, then swimming to a small adjacent island where sooty terns nested. The objective was to obtain the first egg of the season. The name of the first man to find an egg would be called back to the big island. But he wouldn锟絫 truly be the winner until he brought the egg back unbroken. The last year of the competition was 1863. Because they carved a birdman petroglyph into a rock to mark the competition every year, we know the tradition lasted for 111 years. While the young men trained, the young women prepared to be considered queen by staying in a cave for six months. Then they锟絛 stand on a certain rock and submit to an examination to confirm virginity. Young men who didn锟絫 win the competition would receive as a consolation prize one of the virgins.锟?Adjacent to Orongo is Rano Kau, a volcanic crater full of fresh water that overlooks the ocean and has an eerie beauty. hollister While talking on to the importance of this symposium Eroglu said this symposium has sent the message to those who think that TRNC can be easily ignored. He further the world is reshaping in economy, new alliances, interconnectivity of the global world and impotence of UN.

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Commentary and photos submitted to the Missoulian (Missoulian.com) may be published or distributed in print, electronically or other forms. Opinions expressed in Missoulian.com’s comments reflect the opinions of the author, and are not necessarily the opinions of the Missoulian or its parent company. See the and for more information. http://rayban.blessedhandmaidens.org Diogenix’s buyer, Amarantus Biosciences Holdings Inc. of San Francisco, has been unprofitable since its founding in 2008, has less than $2 million in assets and warned investors in November that there is substantial doubt about whether it can stay in business, according to Securities and Exchange Commission filings. The company did not return phone calls from The Associated Press over several weeks. z oakley sunglasses

If you married a South American, then you must accept his culture!

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