The world of the fashionable is once again trying to kill me…

One of the more noticeable characteristics of autistics is that we like routine. We like doing the same thing the same way at the same time as we last did it. Change is strange and threatening and we don’t tend to adapt well to it. In my case this is probably most obvious when it comes to clothing. I wear jeans, Doc Martins, and black t-shirts. That’s it. Depending on weather conditions I may add a hat or coat, but that’s what you’ll see me in 99% of the time.

(The black t-shirts will often bear some kind of geeky design, but they’re still black t-shirts)

Now clothes wear out. And black clothes wear out fairly quickly as the colour fades with each wash. This (combined with the fact that my belt buckle tends to poke holes in them) means that I need a constant supply of new black t-shirts, maybe two or three new ones every 3 months. And this is where we come to the problem.

For the last 6 months it has been insanely hard to find any black t-shirts.

Or at least any black t-shirts I’d be willing to wear. Sure, there are plenty of trendy $35 black t-shirts with odd designs (a map of the world for instance with the word “ALTERNITY” and a skull splayed across it)  on them, but I refuse to pay an extra $25 for a bit of cheap screen printing and post-modern nonsense. Plain, simple black t-shirts seem to have gone out of fashion, and I’m suffering for it.

That said I actually did manage to locate some shirts over the weekend. Good quality, plain, black ones for only $6 a pop. Excellent! Except for one thing…

I like my shirts baggy. You may call it a pathetic attempt to deal with deep seated body issues, but I call it comfortable. For years XL sized shirts have done the job admirably, but this has suddenly changed. Why? Well it appears that baggy clothes have gone out of fashion and XL t-shirts are now tight and body hugging.

Yes, at this point you’re laughing and saying “you’ve just got fat you idiot”. No, my body mass is pretty much the same as it’s been for years. In fact my prolonged bout of flu a few weeks back actually knocked off a couple of kilos. The proof? My old, faded, holed XL shirts are still comfortably baggy, but these new ones are all tight and clingy.

So, it appears that thanks to the wild and inane vagaries of fashion (and despite the fact that I’ve lost weight) I’m now going to have to start buying XXL shirts just to feel comfortable. What I want to know is how is that even remotely fair?


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