Eurovison 2010 – The Saga Continues

Albania! Albania!

OK, the promised Part 2 of my Eurovision 2010 round up. Who were we up to..?

Bosnia Herzovina – “Thunder and Lightning” – Vukašin Brajic: Best described as guitar based rock pop with strings, this song wasn’t great, but with so little decent competition it punched well above its weight. Nothing really notable though. Verdict: 3.5 out of 5 (Not bad, not bad at all).

Poland – “Legenda” – Marcin Mrozinski: WEIRD! That pretty much sums up this one. And not in a good Eurovision-weird way. More in a our-singer-is-a-serial-killer way. There were a bunch of girls in national dress, biting laviciously into apples and then some weird kind of drama that resulted in the singer apparently throttling one of them to death while the others pulled off her clothes. The song itself couldn’t seem to make up its mind between opera, lounge music and Robbie William’s latest. WEIRD! Verdict: A creepy 2.5 out of 5 (very creepy).

Belgium – “Me and My Guitar” – Tom Dice: The title pretty much says it all. One guy and his guitar. A pleasant enough acoustic ballad located somewhere between Cat Stevens and Tracy Chapman. Nothing amazing but it stood out quite well among some of the other dull lunacy on show. Verdict: 3.5 out of 5 (Even if it did sound a bit like James Blunt).

Malta – “My Dream” – Thea Garrett: Apparently this year Malta decided to enter a Liza Minelli impersonator – I don’t understand this any more than you do. Her song was a passable pop ballad (a lot of ballads this year) in a strong American accent which went a bit operatic at the end and featured a guy dressed as a seagull dancing around the stage. Again – I don’t understand this any more than you do. Verdict: 3 out of 5 (Competent).

Albania – “It’s All About You” – Juliana Pasha: Juliana Pasha bears a passing resemblance to Smallville’s Alison Mack, which is something that in my opinion Eurovision should have more of. Her song was essentially an 80’s glam dance track featuring an Eraserhead lookalike on a violin and a not-bad electric guitar solo. It also had a decent beat which was nice to hear after all those slow, dull ballads. Probably my favourite track of the night (and not just because I have thing for Chloe Sullivan). Verdict: 4 out of 5 (Kick ass!).

Greece – “OPA” – Giorgos Alkaios and Friends: Musically this song is pretty stupid. But it’s so cheerful and energetic that you don’t really care. An electro/techo track with plenty of influence from traditional Greek music (or at least “Zorba’s Dance” which is the only Greek song anyone knows or cares about). The performers all wore white, rhinestone encrusted pyjamas open to the chest and yelled a lot, and there was a bit played on a mobile phone right at the end. Verdict: 3.5 out of 5 (Mindless fun).

Portugal – “Há dias assim” – Filipa Azevedo: A Portugese power ballad, performed by a girl who managed to do a remarkable Whitney Houston impersonation despite not singing in English. Not remarkable by any measure but very well performed. Verdict: 4 out of 5 (Well done).

Macedonia – “Jas ja imam silata” – Gjoko Taneski, Billy Zver and Pejcin: Macedonia couldn’t seem to make up its mind. Was it doing an 80’s pop song? Was it rap? Or was it power rock? I’ve got no idea since it kept randomly jumping between them. Far too much going on to form any decent kind of opinion as to the talents of those involved. There was a quite good impersonation of a Slash guitar solo towards the end, but it wasn’t enough to save this fairly shambolic performance. Verdict: 3.5 out of 5 (The guitar solo earned them some extra points).

Belarus – “Butterflies” – 3+2 feat Robert Wells: What’s that? Belarus are on? Oh. I see. They’re just standing there singing a heavily accented and rather dull song about butterflies. Hmmm. Have I got any email? Nope. Oh, they’re still going, OK. I wonder if I turned off the oven? Yes, I did. I specifically remember doing so. Well, look at that, the women have sprouted butterfly wings. How… interesting. Ah, they’re finished now. Good. Verdict: 2.5 out of 5 (When Mr Lordi sprouted wings it was cool. You’re not Mr Lordi.)

Iceland – “Je ne sais quoi” – Hera Björk: Björk!? Iceland have Björk!? Oh, wait, a different Björk. OK then. Hera Björk – what Terry Wogan would have called “a well set up lump of a girl” – did quite a good job on this catchy techno/piano track. Not amazing but pleasant enough to listen to. Verdict: 4 out of 5 (Sorry about the lump comment…)

So, there we go, my opinion on the first semi final. Now I’ve just got to get the second semi final written up – which will probably happen sometime before August – and watch and write up the Final tonight. Albania for the Win!

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