Recipe for a hit R’n’B song
- Hit the pedal of a base drum once, and record it. Loop this at a rate of 30bpm.
- Select a hit song of the last forty years. Fast forward to a section with either horns or piano. Select a two or three note sequence at random and loop this incessantly over the base drum.
- Hire some guy who couldn’t make it in the hip-hop scene to mumble lyrics about sex and money over the top, punctuated (seemingly at random) by strange grunting noises.
- If it’s still missing something, hire a female backup singer to make high pitched warbling sounds and orgasmic moans at appropriate intervals.
Congratulations! You’ve just recorded your first top 20 R’n’B hit!
