The War between the Floors

by Purple Wyrm on May 10, 2003

I’m listening to the JJJ Hottest Box, and my bathroom sink is still clogged.

If my calculations are correct it’s been clogged for a month come this Sunday morning. The following Tuesday morning it’ll be a month since I phoned the property manager (a certain Josie) to get someone to come and look at it. As far as I can tell no-one has so far, unless they literally did just come, look at it, then leave – which given Josie’s performance to date wouldn’t surprise me at all. I considered calling her up to do some screaming this week, but decided to leave it. “I haven’t been able to use my bathroom sink for a month!!” sounds so much more impressive that “I haven’t been able to use my bathroom sink for three weeks!!”.

Rebecca suggested that under the terms of my lease a completely clogged bathroom sink should be a hygine issue and count as an urgent repair requiring action within 24 hours. I had a look for my copy of the lease but seem to have misplaced it (oh yeah, I’m organised me) so I can unfortunately neither confirm nor deny on that point. But it’s not so bad really. I can use the kitchen sink for washing my hands and brushing my teeth, and as for shaving I just use a jug of hot water in front of the bathroom mirror. So I’ve adapted OK. And the longer it sits un-dealt with the more ammunition we have to take Josie down on the eventual day-of-reckoning (which is so coming, she’s the most useless property manager in the history of Western civilisation)

Of course it’s entirely possible that my pipe problem is some kind of ploy in the on-going war between the floors, as I like to call the dispute between the various residents groups here at the Gables. There’s some kind of long-running fued going on you see, something to do with drains and pipes and rates and things, and the entire building (or at least those residents with lives sufficiently devoid of meaning to take any notice) is split between two factions, the individual ideologies of which completely escape me. This dispute has lead to a number of ridiculous incidents, including sending two plumbers and two lawyers around to each apartment to inspect the pipes, and a remarkably fast turnover in caretakers.

My theory is the entire conflict has been engineered by the residents of Floor 10 – wealthy, bored pensioners manipulating the rest of the residents like pawns in a complicated power play aimed at giving their fading lives some kind of meaning. There’s probably a common room up there holding a large, 3D model of the building complete with little counters and flags that they move around to represent the units and floors they control while gloating at each other like deranged monopoly players. The plumbers and lawyers incident was obviously a major coup by one of them, presumably inconveniencing their faction slightly less than the rest of us. Or at least that’s what I like to think. Blaming inconviniences on sinister conspiracies as opposed to ordinary human incompetance makes life far more exciting 🙂

(They were flashing signal lights from floor to floor last night. Or at least one of the Floor 10s changed their balcony light to a red bulb, while a Floor 8 changed theirs to yellow. You can’t tell me that doesn’t signify something! 😉

Anyway, yes I’m listening to the JJJ Hottest Box at the moment, which I blew $175 odd on yesterday. A nine CD box set of some of the best music from the last ten years of the Triple J Hottest 100. Round about 130 songs all up almost all of which I like, so I’m pretty happy. It’s actually a limited edition individually numbered collectors item too, which sounds great except my one is numbered 03821, suggesting there are 10,000 of them which is hardly limited edition in my opinion. Oh well, it means I have less stuff to download of Kaazaa anyway 😉

So, of course, what have I been up to. Not a terrible lot. I’ve been up at Fabian’s a bit preparing for a new AD&D campaign he’s setting up with the third edition rules. We rolled up characters the other week, I went a cleric (‘even though I don’t know what that is!’ sorry, private joke 🙂 as I usually do – since no-one else ever wants to play them – but was unfortunate enough to roll a 6 for one of my stats. After a lot of heming and hawing I did the traditional thing and stuck it into charisma. There’s room for a character portrait on the third edition character sheets, so I then amused myself by sketching up a suitiably unpleasant picture – my cleric (‘Mithras the Pallid’ as I decided to call him 🙂 apparently bears a remarkable similarity to Max Schreck in Nosferatu 🙂

Apart from that I haven’t been up to much. Apart from checking my referer logs. The lastest amusing searches include…

sexually ambiguous terminology football – Because I seldom write about anything else!

Inbred Myths about West Virginia – Well I did hear about a bat winged, horse faced child being born just outside of Charleston in 1823, but I don’t beleive it personally.

spray painting robotics video clip – I cannot imagine why I would come up for this!

“cliffords tower” opening hours price – 11:35 PM to 12:00 PM every Candlemass. Admission: Any silver coin from the reign of James II of Scotland.

“frank sanatra” – Ah! The Japanese Karaoke singer!

particle board wanted – But real wood sadly remains alone.

antihistime for running nose – Easy fixed! Just place your nose against the screen here and sniff!

“Sodom and gomorrah” artwork – Because a tasteful painting of God wrathfully smiting the evil Sodomites with fire and brimstone is just the thing to complete the den!

effects inbreeding “pitcairn island” – I seem to be getting a reputation for this kind of thing…

the importance of mardi gra masks – The what!?!

It just gets stranger and stranger doesn’t it? 🙂

Well I’m going now. Expect updates a bit more regularly for, oh say the next week or so. Then I’ll go back to intermittant rants like the lazy recidivist I am 🙂

Woo! Cows with Guns! #We will fight for Bovine freedom! And hold our large heads high!..

Leave your comment

Required.

Required. Not published.

If you have one.

*