Charlton Heston

The recipe for egg fried lice

And here are the lyrics to yesterday’s discovery…

Stump – Charlton Heston

The pyramids were in construction,
The Pharaoh glowed with satisfaction,
But then to his immense surprise,
His empire fell before his eyes,
A hundred thousand busy slaves,
Downed their tools and stood and stared,

The Red Sea walls stood like a canyon,
The Pharaoh pulled up in his wagon,
And saw within those walls of glass,
A herd of whales go racing past,
A hundred thousand fishy tales,
Crossed his mind about the day…

…that Charlton Heston put his vest on,

The broken tablets had been mended,
The golden calf had been up-ended,
And old folk sittin’ ’round the fire,
Would talk of voices from the sky,
Babies sailing down the Nile,
The recipe for locust pie,
A hundred thousand frogs per mile,
We’d always ask them to describe…

…how Charlton Heston put his vest on,

Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal,
Shalt not commit adultery,
Boils the size of 50p,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn,
See these sandals hardly worn,
Raining blood, raining bread,
The night we painted Egypt red,
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie,
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour’s wife,
The recipe for egg fried lice,
A hundred ways to kill a fly,
Love your daddy, love your mummy,
Put your bread in milk and honey,
Loved his fish, he did, he did,
Never beat the wife and kids,
Slouch though desert, slouch through sand,
Until we reach the promised land,
Thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal,
Shalt not commit adultery,
Boils the size of 50p,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Bushes that refuse to burn,
See these sandals hardly worn,
Raining blood and raining bread,
The night we painted Egypt red,
Thou shalt not covet, shalt not lie,
Thou shalt not bonk your neighbour’s wife,
The recipe for egg fried lice,
Lights! Camel! Action!
Lights! Camel! Action!

Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on,
Charlton Heston put his vest on…

One thought on “Charlton Heston”

  1. Seriously, where do you find this stuff? those lyrics are hilarious! And yes, i did get the biblical reference in there.

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