How to Stage the Apocalypse in your Own Home

How to create a convincing impression of the Apocalypse in your own home…

Set up your clock radio to halfway between the local alternative and local religious fundamentalist radio stations. Get the alternative one to play Tom Waites and the religious one to play a fire and brimstone rant about hell and damnation just when you set the alarm to go off. Wake up in confusion and horror at 5:30 in the morning at the bizzarely ominious cacophany coming out of said clock radio…

Tom Waites: Grrrrrr rumble-rumble Alice! Grrrrrr growl!
Preacher: ConDEMED To the FIRES of HELL and DAMNation!!
Tom Waites: Arrrgh!!! Grrrrrr! Grumble mad-hatter HOWL!!
Preacher: Where the FIRE burns on the LAKE of SULFUR!!
Tom Waites: Grrrr! Rumble-grunt growl!!

Now that wakes you up quickly!

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