No Accounting for Crows

by Purple Wyrm on August 27, 2014

It’s weird when you stop and think about it. How could the band that produced a masterpiece like this…

…go on to commit an act of heinous musical vandalism like this?

Hmmm.

I’m off to see the Mythbusters tonight. Maybe they’ll be able to explain it…

Not Cool YouTube

by Purple Wyrm on August 26, 2014

So you’re working away on your computer at the office and decide that you need some music to make your life feel like it’s worth living. So you go over to YouTube and line up something soothing and melodic, a piece by the Shins for instance. Then you switch windows and continue work.

But then without any warning, without any kind of alert or alarm to advise you that some kind of vile, brain killing, hazardous toxin that should not be played to children or other living things without arrest and trial in the Hague is incoming, you are subjected to an unskippable, ten second auditory assault by Nicki Minaj.

Not cool YouTube! Not cool!

Miscellany

by Purple Wyrm on August 25, 2014

Got my hair cut over the weekend. I decided that when random youths on the street start shouting “Wolverine!” at you it’s probably time to get your sideburns trimmed at the very least.

I quite liked Peter Capaldi as the new Doctor. A post-regeneration episode is never going to give you a proper look at the new version, but I approve so far. I must note however that they should have included some kind of explanation as to why the dinosaur was almost as tall as the Elizabeth Tower – I’m fairly certain that theropods never got that big.

I also really like the latest single from Bertie Blackman, Run For Your Life. It has a ominous, mysterious sound to it that puts me in mind in equal parts of the Cure and Halogen’s On a Bridge, with a comparatively triumphant, soaring chorus that resolves some of the tension from the verses. For some reason it also reminds me of Terry Dowling’s Blue Tyson novels – if they ever turned them into a movie (a prospect in equal parts fantastic, terrifying and unlikely) I’d lobby for it to be on the soundtrack. Have a listen!

That is all.

Where the Pink Flamingos Stand

by Purple Wyrm on August 24, 2014

I’ve really been getting into Ben Aaronovitch’s Peter Grant series of late. For those not in the know it’s a series of urban fantasy books about a rookie cop in London who finds himself apprenticed to the UK’s last operating wizard, who also happens to be an Inspector in charge of a department of the Metropolitan Police that they don’t like to talk about. They’re great reads with sharp, funny writing and plenty of geeky references to both popular nerd culture (book number three mentions Space Hulk for crying out loud!) and the history of London – both subjects dear to my heart.

I’ve read the first three so far. I actually enjoyed the first one (Rivers of London or, if you’re American and thus can’t be trusted with proper book titles Midnight Riot) so much that within ten minutes of finishing it I had purchased and was reading book two, Moon Over Soho (it helped that I was in the city at the time and hence only a few minutes walk from White Dwarf Books). On two occasions while reading the series I almost shouted out loud in a public place – the first when I figured out who the villain in Rivers of London was (a full two pages before his give away catchphrase I would like to point out ;) ), and the second from sheer astonishment at Nightingale’s reminiscences about tiger hunting – which is pretty impressive for someone as reserved as my good self.

Prior to picking up Rivers of London I was chiefly familiar with Ben due to his work on Doctor Who, he being responsible for the classic McCoy era story Remembrance of the Daleks and its brilliant novelisation. I was already a fan simply because he included in that work a reference to the British Rocket Group, but he has now been elevated into the pantheon of my absolutely favourite authors. I’m very much looking forwards to reading the continuing adventures of PC Grant, but am taking a break before moving on to Broken Homes to minimise my risk of hyperthaumaturgical degradation.

Now, it’s inevitable that the title of book two in the Peter Grant series – Moon Over Soho – would not as intended remind me of jazz music, but of The Drew Carey Show. As such I’ve been wandering around the flat singing to myself…

Moon over Soho bring my love to me tonight!
Guide her to Lambeth, underneath your silvery light!
We’re going shopping! So don’t lose her in Wapping!
Moon over Soho, tonight!

(I cannot see any reason why someone would travel from Soho to Lambeth via Wapping, but when the Muse calls you gotta accept the charges).

After several weeks of such awfulness it occurred to me to do some poking around to try and find the source of Mr Carey’s first season ditty, and with very little trouble I tracked down the original, as broadcast on Cleveland area TV station WJW in what would appear to the early 70′s, but based on contextual clues can be no earlier than 1988…

I really like it. Singer/Songwriter Bob “Mad Dog” McGuire has a fine voice, and I enjoy the way his slightly tongue in cheek lyrics depict the North Coast of Ohio as a setting for romance equivalent to Hawaii or Capri. Well done Bob!

On top of his cut down opening theme performance Drew Carey actually recorded a full version of the song, giving it more of a swing…

Also, in an act of wonderful lunacy, 90′s Canadian white boy rapper Snow also did a version for the final season of The Drew Carey Show, which is one of those things that you need to hear to actually believe…

So yes. Read the PC Grant series, keep an eye out for anything involving Ben Aaronovitch and consider Lake County Ohio for your next romantic getaway!

PS: I wonder if Mr Aaronovitch is aware that a branch of the river Tyburn passes almost exactly underneath the Folly? This cannot bode well…

BLEEH BLAH BLEEH BLAH IN MY HANDS!!

by Purple Wyrm on August 23, 2014

Sadly Insignificant Claims to Fame

by Purple Wyrm on August 18, 2014

It’s well known that you’re not worth anything in this world unless famous people pay attention to you. As such, here are my own claims to some kind of greater significance…

Mark Genge of Radio RTR read out the greeting card I sent wishing him a “Merry Metaphysician’s Day and an Existential Evening” during his I’ve Seen Elvis segment.

I sent a list of wacky laws to the Martin Molloy radio show, some of which were read out (Mick Molloy’s reaction to my nom-de-plume of Denys the Purple Wyrm was a heartfelt groan of “Oh God!”).

I sent an adventure suggestion in audio form to the Dragon’s Landing podcast, which was both played and highly praised by the hosts.

Cory Doctorow himself slapped me down (nicely) for using Creative Commons incorrectly on my Flickr stream.

My suggestion for adding Buffalo to Minecraft was read out and caused much hilarity on the Shaft podcast – even if they forgot to actually credit it to me.

The Oatmeal recently commented on this very blog (see if you can spot where!).

That’s it. Tell me we both matter, don’t we?

PS: Warren Ellis once called me “daft” and Dan Abnett “a very fine human being indeed”. How could I forget them?

Dubstep Achieves its Final Form

by Purple Wyrm on July 30, 2014

Where are they now?

by Purple Wyrm on July 29, 2014

Much has been made of the fact that this year is the tenth anniversary of the end of seminal 90′s sitcom Friends (half of which was of course set, filmed and broadcast in the 2000′s). So with that in mind I figured we’d take a look at what the cast are up to, ten years after their multi-million dollar feedbags were forcibly removed…

Jennifer Aniston continues with a comfortable  career in big screen comedies, and manages to look damn hot while doing so.

Courteny Cox has finally managed to land some post-Friends television success with Cougar Town and is engaged to some guy from Snow Patrol.

Lisa Kudrow has gone from strength to strength with guest roles on numerous TV shows, ads for computer games and a successful web series.

Matt LeBlanc hit a bit of a slump with the not-entirely successful spin off Joey but bounced back by playing a fictionalised version of himself on BBC comedy series Episodes. He also toppled Rowan Atkinson from poll position in the Star in a Reasonably Priced Car segment on Top Gear.

Rob ‘David’ Schwimmer was last reported living rough on the streets of Tallahassee Florida. He has been sighted with a crudely lettered cardboard sign indicating that he will say “We were on a break!” for loose change.

Matthew Perry is reported to have reclaimed three of his seven horcruxes and continues on his quest to cast the Earth and everyone on it into the pit of eternal flame for the greater good of his dark master. We wish him every success.

Dagnabit!

by Purple Wyrm on July 29, 2014

It occurred to me today that “Hairway to Steven” was an awesome pun. So I looked it up online to see if anyone else had ever had such a brilliant brainwave.

Turns out that the Butthole Surfers had the same idea 26 years ago.

Dagnabit!

Oh Hooray

by Purple Wyrm on July 17, 2014

So, the Senate repealed the Carbon Tax today.

Well, at least we’ll all be rich when the oceans rise, the crops fail and Queensland is overrun by Pacific Island refugees.

(Pro Tip: No, we won’t be rich)