Neither of us look like Jesse Eisenberg

by Purple Wyrm on October 22, 2014

There’s a guy who’s started working in the office downstairs who looks like a younger, redheaded version of me.

Here’s hoping I won’t need to handcuff him to a bed and throw myself off a building.


by Purple Wyrm on October 13, 2014

Got a lot of stuff going on at work at the moment which is sending my anxiety levels higher than Ozzy Osbourne at the Alamo, thus not a lot has been happening here at the Wyrmlog as I’m generally finding myself with only enough energy to play Minecraft, listlessly surf the web, troll people on Reddit and sleep.

But I thought I’d pop up briefly to say how much I enjoyed Mummy on the Orient Express. I honestly think it’s the best episode since Capaldi took over. I’ve been a bit uncertain of him as the Doctor – I like him, and he’s certainly been trying hard but it wasn’t until The Caretaker that I felt that he started to fit into the character – a delay that I’m pretty sure is down to a combination of scripts and direction more than any intrinsic unsuitability for the role. But last night he was every bit the Doctor, and the story was a cracker as well.

Also, well, it shames me slightly to admit this – the modern sensitive man that I so obviously am – but that dress! I’ve never found Jenna Coleman any more or less attractive than any other pretty young woman, but that flapper outfit – wowee I believe is the word.

OK, that’s more enough of that I think we can all agree.


by Purple Wyrm on October 1, 2014

And Bertie Blackman hits it out of the park once again with War of One

Is there anything she can’t do?

That sure told me!

by Purple Wyrm on September 30, 2014

So the other day I happened to check out the trailer for the US reality show Utopia, in which a carefully selected group of academics, scientists and engineers is put into a isolated compound for a year to construct a new society. Oh, sorry, I got that wrong,  a carefully selected bunch of fanatics, weirdos and freaks are put into a compound for a year so we can cheer at them fighting each other. Good wholesome entertainment!

Anyway, I was watching the trailer and they cut to the narrator who was a natty looking chap in a waistcoat, hat, thick rimmed glasses and moustache. “Who’s he think he is?” I laughed to myself “Dan Piraro?“.

A subtitle came up on the screen – Dan Piraro.

Well, that sure told me!


by Purple Wyrm on September 29, 2014

What. The. Actual. Heck!?

Eater of Pumpkins

by Purple Wyrm on September 27, 2014

So I was all ready to write up a humorous screed this morning about how Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater is clearly a story about a man who murders his wife and that we shouldn’t be reading such things to children, when I discovered that it actually is.

Older variations of the rhyme feature men who shove their unwanted wives up chimneys, or let mice eat them to death. Shoving her into a pumpkin is almost tame by comparison.

Honestly, with all this scholarship it’s getting so you can’t make a simple joke about folklore anymore!

The Court of Ancient Grievances

by Purple Wyrm on September 20, 2014

Order! Order! The Court of Ancient Grievances is now in session!

It is hereby alleged that on or around the 9th of October 1998 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Thunderbirds are Coming Out by TISM contained “speculation about the sexual proclivities of the Thunderbirds puppets”, indicating that said reviewers had either not listened to the song, or when listening to the song did not pay even cursory attention to the lyrics.

It is furthermore alleged that on or around the 26th of February 2001 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated in relation to the song Heat Seeking Pleasure Machine by Paul Mac that “Paul Mac has a sexy voice”, indicating that said reviewers did not carry out any research or even bother to read the back of the CD case – both actions that would have uncovered the publicly available fact that the vocalist on said song was Tex Perkins of the Cruel Sea.

It is also alleged that on or around the 12th of June 2002 the music reviewers of the Sunday Times newspaper stated that the song Satisfaction by Benny Benassi was a cover of the Rolling Stones song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, indicating that said reviewers either failed to listen to the Benny Benassi song, failed to listen to the Rolling Stones song, or equally likely failed to listen to either.

Therefore, it is the opinion of this court that the music reviewers of the Sunday Times between the years 1998 and 2002 were a bunch of complete fart-artists labouring under the weight of a total and systemic contempt for music, the music listening public and their responsibilities as employees of the Sunday Times.

How plead the defendants?

(Note: The Court of Ancient Grievances acknowledges that this all happened a long time ago, and that it might in fact have been the music reviewers of the West Australian Newspaper who carried out these crimes against fact. If so, the Court apologises unreservedly to the music reviewers of the Sunday Times who presumably did not have their heads completely up their arses.)

Today is the Day

by Purple Wyrm on September 18, 2014

While I like the idea of an independent Scotland, I simultaneously find myself strangely uneasy about the idea of breaking up the UK.

Oh well, it’s none of my business anyway :)

I Shot my Space Gun

by Purple Wyrm on September 17, 2014

Feeling pretty rough this week, so no energy for posts. Instead here’s a song by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy…

And here’s David Bowie’s amazing cover version of it…

And here’s a Pulp song that sounds kinda like Bowie’s version…


Round the Cape to the Far Antipodes

by Purple Wyrm on September 9, 2014

I took delivery today of some Lego I’ve ordered to put together a model of Inquisitor Golesh Constantine Pheppos Heldane to go with my other Gaunt’s Ghosts minifigs. Nothing unusual about this you might think, except that I placed the order back on May 19th.

Now, I can accept that prior to the opening of the Suez Canal in 1869, 113 days might be an acceptable delivery time between the UK and Perth, but I really would have thought that the Royal Mail would have moved on from clipper ships by now. Or perhaps the Ordo Chronos of the Emperor’s Holy Inquisition got wind of my plans, disapproved, and caused the parcel to get lost in the Warp? The Lego seems normal with no obvious signs of chaotic taint, but one can never really tell, so I won’t let the resulting model get too far away from Saint Sabbat, just in case.

In any case, Firestar Toys can be absolved of any blame as they clearly did post the parcel a few days after my order. Whatever problems occurred did so after my order left their remit, so I will happily continue to recommend them to all aspiring minifig builders.

Keep your eyes peeled for Inquisitor Heldane!