I’m on a stoat! I’m on a stoat! Everybody look at me ’cause I’m riding on a stoat!
No. I think not.
Tag: On a Boat
From the Historical to the Stupid
I’m in a moat?
I’m on a goat m**********r take a look at me!
Straight riding on a goat, that’s spelt g-o-a-t!
You know it’s real ’cause my ride is chewing on my coat!
You can’t stop me m**********r ’cause I’m on a goat!
I’m on a goat and, it’s going fast and,
It ate my nautical themed pashmina afghan!
I can’t write any more of this god-damned drivel! Good night!! ;D
Most Impressive Train
There are only so many things that rhyme with “train”
London. 1850. Three gentlemen sit in their club, reading the Times. As Lord Wallace turns the page, a small piece of paper falls into his lap.
Lord Wallace: By jove! A train ticket for three! Now, who shall accompany me?
His companions look hopeful.
Lord Wallace: Sir George!
Sir George: Yes!
Lord Wallace: And…..
Lord Peters smiles expectantly
Lord Wallace: Isambard Kingdom Brunel!
Pan to Isambard Kingdom Brunel who is leaning nonchalantly against the wall wearing a stovepipe hat and smoking a large cigar. He removes the cigar momentarily
Brunel: Most agreeable.
Cut to a Steam Train as the music begins…
Indeed!
Have your tickets ready for we’re about to depart!
Every gentleman assemble on the platform!
And be sure to stay on your toes
We’re steaming up! Let us go!
I’m on a train!
I’m on a train!
Everybody look at me for I’m riding on a train!
I’m on a train!
I’m on a train!
Take a good hard look at the most impressive train!
I’m on a train you blighter listen to my tale!
Straight riding on a train on an iron rail,
Twenty miles to the hour messing with my brain,
You can’t stop me you bounder for I’m on a train!
Make a sketch quick, I’m on a train kick,
We’re drinking workers’ ale because it’s so thick,
I’ve got my timetable, for I’m railway savvy,
While you’re sailing the canals like a common navvy,
I’m stoking the engine, shovelling coal supplies,
The stack is smoking, throwing ash in everyone’s eyes,
But no one minds sir, for this is fast as it gets,
I’m on a train sir, don’t you ever forget!
I’m on a train sir! It’s going fast sir!
The economic potential of this is vast sir!
I’m racing along just like Stephenson’s Rocket,
With a wad of Great Western shares riding in my pocket!
Pay attention now! For this train is real!
No barge! I’m on a train you dirty bounder!
No horse! I ride rails you dirty bounder!
I’m on the engine with my fellows, dirty bounder!
This engine sounds like a bellows, dirty bounder!
Yes sir! If you could see me now!
My arms spread wide like a captured cow,
Going to take this train to France somehow,
Why not a tunnel? Anything is possible!
Brunel:
Never thought I’d be on a train,
The horsepower of this engine’s insane,
James Watt, take a look at me,
Never thought I’d see the day,
When a big train was steaming my way,
Believe me when I say, these tracks are broad-gauge!
I’m on a train!
I’m on a train!
Everybody look at me for I’m riding on a train!
I’m on a train!
I’m on a train!
Take a good hard look at the most impressive train!
