Tag: Australia

Well, Here’s a Thing

Apparently, in recognition of the 60th anniversary of the Eurovision Song Contest and the fact that a lot of Aussies (including myself) watch it, Australia is going to compete in this year’s contest!

We get automatic entry into the final (along with all the usual suspects) and – assuming that they can figure out how to do it in a sensible fashion given the time difference – we’ll get to vote! In the event that we win (not entirely impossible given the huge novelty factor) next year’s contest will be held somewhere in Europe with heavy Australian involvement. It’s also the only way we’ll get to compete in 2016 – if we don’t win then it’s a one-off.

This is going to be interesting…

Of course I can hardly mention this without posting the greatest Eurovision song never to be entered in Eurovision.

They really must lose that sax solo.

A Televisual Feast

As inspired by Reddit, some TV shows from my childhood…

The Goodies: Kitten Kong, Frankenfido, Apartheight, Clown Gas, Black Beauty, Timita, The Funky Gibbon, Rolf Harris – back in the 80s every Australian kid watched these guys religiously.

Monkey: If you were an Australian kid in the 80s, then you watched “Monkey Magic”. No exceptions. The nature of monkey was… IRREPRESSIBLE!

Catweazel: Electrickery and Telling-bones! Twelve are they that circle round, if power you seek they must be found, look for where the thirteen lies, mount aloft the one who flies…

The Mysterious Cities of Gold: Awesome! Until the Olmecs turned up, anyway. And some of those documentaries at the end were a bit dodgy. But even today I’d kill to have that boat!

Worzel Gummidge: Worzel Gummidge scared the shit out of me! He could take his head off! No!

Secret Valley: Kind of naff, but we still watched it, even while claiming that it sucked. And who didn’t want a cave base like the Spider Gang? The sequel/spin-off on the other hand was an abomination whose name I shall not even repeat. Just note that the theme song (somewhat ironically) used the word ‘poop’ a lot.

You Can’t Do That on Television: Somehow both the origin of Alanis Morrisette and Nickelodeon’s green slime.

Fraggle Rock: I particularly like the episode where they stopped eating the Doozer’s buildings. We had the version with the old inventor and his dog.

Peter Russel Clarke: Cook a shark or make a damper, feed your ego.. pack a hamper.. on a farm or out at sea, learn a recipe or threeeeeeeee… Come and get it! With Peter! G’day! Russel! G’day! Clarke! How ya goin?

Chocky: Weird and creepy! I used to spend hours drawing that picture with the spheres and pyramids.

Astroboy: OK, but more something we watched just because it was on rather than because we loved it.

Grange Hill: We thought this was kind of uncool and boring, but we still watched it because it came on in between other good shows.

Battle of the Planets: Naturally I had a crush on Princess. Nonetheless I really wanted one of those badges the bad guys wore.

Into the Labyrinth: Rothgo… Rothgo… Rothgo… Every episode was filmed in a cave, and looked like it.

Ulysses 31: Anime version of the Greek Myths. I drew picture after picture of that annoying little robot. That said, the Odyssey is one of the best spaceship designs ever!

Watch This Space: Cheaply made and pretty stupid, but they featured some amazing bands.

Kaboodle: Awesome theme music!

I am so old! 😀

Common Decency

Proof – if any were needed – that acting legally and acting decently are not necessarily the same thing.

When Clyde and Lesley Bevan were told the $6500 gold and diamond bracelet they had lost months ago had been found, they were delighted and grateful […] Their happiness turned into incredulity when the finder told them he now owned the jewellery […] He said he would give Mr and Mrs Bevan the bracelet but only if they made a claim under their insurance policy and gave him half the payout. […] The finder was a clergyman, the Rev. Terry McAuliffe, of St Paul’s Anglican Church in City Beach. — The West Australian, June 26th 2013

Proof also – if any were needed – that being a minister of religion is no guarantee of being a decent human being.

Oh America!

Apparently there’s some American woman who wants to move to Australia because…

“…their president is a Christian and actually supports what he says…”

Hmmm, let’s do a comparison…

Julia Gillard
Prime Minister of Australia		 Barack Obama
President of the United States of America
President? No Yes
Christian? No – A stated Atheist Yes – Despite right wingers’ repeated claims that he’s a filthy, evil, communist, socialist, terrorist, Kenyan “Muslin”
He? No Yes
Actually supports what he says? No* No*
Score 0/4 3/4

When it’s put like that, I rather think she’d be happier staying where she is.

(* Find me a politician who does and I’ll give you a shiny new donkey – or if you prefer, elephant)

Do as History Teaches

It’s that time again, the time when the Australian swim team goes off to the Olympics and – to the general consternation of the nation – totally fails to dominate. Our swimmers pick up some silvers, some bronzes and maybe a few golds, and the press fills up with questions about where it’s all gone so wrong.

The thing that everyone fails to remember is that this is the Olympic Games, not the Commonwealth Games. In the Commonwealth Games we slaughter everyone, because, frankly,  we’re the only people in the Commonwealth who can actually swim. At the Olympics we face the Americans, the Russians, the Chinese and a horde of upstart, wildcard nations that luck out by stumbling over a single brilliant swimmer. Faced with all that competition we actually punch well above our weight, but there’s still hand wringing and gnashing of teeth every time we win a silver (or, the horror! a bronze) rather than a gold.

To those who are upset at our team’s performance in the pool – or elsewhere – I say shut up and listen to some TISM.