autism – Page 2

Damned Impertinence!

Hrumph!

This morning at work I got a call from a client wanting an update on his project. As might be expected on a Monday morning he asked if I’d had a good weekend. I answered in the non-committal affirmative. He then asked “Do anything interesting?”

Well. Call me a socially inept Aspie but to me that’s stepping over the line. We’re not friends, we’re business associates. As I see it, he has no right (social or otherwise) to request information about my personal life, and to do so was frankly impertinent.

What was I going to do? Fill him in on all the details of my weekend? Tell him how I went to an old friend’s wedding lunch at the Rose in Crown at Guildford? And how it wasn’t the actual wedding because the actual wedding was in Japan and Switzerland, and explain how that was actually possible? And say that I had the barramundi but wished I’d had the steak because although the barramundi was fantastic the steak the other people were having looked even better and came with chips? And that a good time was had by all and then on the way home I saw a house flying the state flag of Wyoming for some reason? That information is mine, not to be handed out over the phone to someone I barely know.

I mean I didn’t want to know what he’d done over the weekend. Why would I? He’s a client – one among many. As far as I’m concerned he could have spent his weekend morris dancing, pin collecting or hunting the most dangerous prey of all. It makes no difference. He could be the goddamn Batman as long as he gets information to me in a timely manner so I can get his work done.

My clients are not my friends. And’s that the way it should be.

Hrumph!

(Yes, I understand the irony of saying I don’t want a client knowing details about my weekend and then posting all about it on a publicly accessible blog, but if you’re reading this then you’re either a personal friend of mine, or a complete stranger I’ll probably never meet, so it’s not the same thing :P)

That’s better…

OK, my blog is now starting to look more like I want it to. Need to get that header sorted out, and rearrange the sidebar a bit, then I might finally be satisfied.

In my perambulations around the net the other day I stumbled over this quite remarkable page –The Neanderthal Theory of Autism. It’s a page outlining a theory that Autistic spectrum disorders are actually the legacy of breeding between modern humans and Neandertals in prehistoric Europe, and that the symptoms of autism are actually Neandertal traits.

It’s an interesting idea and there’s some interesting evidence in there (the much higher rate of autism in European as opposed to African populations for instance) but there’s also a lot of absolute fruit-loopery of the highest order dressed up in the garb of science.

The basic methodology seems to work like this…

1) Neandertals may have done things this way
2) Some Autistics do things this other way
3) The first way and the second way are kind of similar
4) Therefore Autistics must be Neandertals! It all fits!

For instance, this piece of crystal clear logic…

Most of the finds of Neanderthals are from caves. It’s possible that Neanderthals spent a lot of time in caves, or maybe they hibernated there during winter. Autistics have a fascination for caves. Many autistics are afraid of the sound of a motor-bike. A motor-bike sounds similar to a bear. It is possible that the instintive (sic) reaction of autistics when they hear the sound of a motor-bike triggers an ancient fear for cave-bears.

Uhhhh…. OK, let’s look at this bit by bit. Yes, most Neandertal finds do come from caves, but this has less to do with the habits of Neandertals and more to do with the fact that caves are very good at preserving old bones, so that’s where we tend to look for them. I mean sure, Neandertals may have been hanging out in caves all the time, but you can’t build a hypothesis around the fact that we’ve gotten very good at narrowing down our search for archaeology over the last 200 years.

“Autistics have a fascination for caves“. We do?! No one told me this!? I shall have to start looking for a cave to be fascinated by right away!!! Honestly…

Motor-bikes, well, yes, the sound of a motor cycle does freak me out a bit, particularly if it comes tearing around a corner at full roar without any warning. But that’s not because it sounds like a bear, it’s because it’s a loud, sudden noise. Autistics don’t like loud sudden noises of any kind, be they engines, thunder, gunshots or – yes I suppose – cave bears. You might as well argue that Autistics are scared of the sound of motor cycles because the people who ride them tend to be large and hairy, and hence resemble cave bears.

The entire work is full of this kind of stuff. Particularly annoying (or laughable, depending on how you look at it) is the chain of supposition which will state tentatively that Neandertals might have behaved in a certain way, or might have had a certain trait, and then roll on into the next sentence on the confident assumption that they definitely did. That’s not science, that’s wish fulfilment.

So yes, an interesting theory, but let’s try and find some real evidence to back it up before we go riding off into the sunset clinging to the fur of a mammoth (which is apparently why Autistics like climbing over things…)

Sheeze!

You might have Aspergers Syndrome if…

Your sexual preference is ‘get the hell away from me!’

Some applicable examples from an old list I stumbled over…

You have passed many a happy minute watching a fan spin.
On the one hand you think you are the most interesting person you know, but not too many other people are trying to get to know you.
People sometimes check you out to see if you really do, “know everything”.
You know the historical derivation of the word, “trivia”.
You get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don’t know something when you need to know it because you really *SHOULD* know that.
You choose the grocery aisle that you go down based on whether or not there are any other people in that aisle.
You will go many extra steps and take lots of extra time to figure out the answer to something rather than taking 30 seconds to ask someone.
You ever stayed with a hobby so long and with such intensity that you hurt yourself (can you say “carpal tunnel syndrome”?).
You talk back to the people on the TV and radio and call them idiots or say sarcastic things to commercials.
You think an old fashioned egg beater is a very cool toy.
One of your favorite hobbies is “autie spotting”.
You get irritated when people come up to talk to you when you are doing something important like staring at a wall.
You get irritated when people come by unannounced when you are totally getting into some research topic or painting or doing mosaics or whatever.
You feel somehow privileged to have insights into the subject of cultural anthropology because you have been studying anthropo’s your whole life trying to figure out what makes their culture tick.
You think “Cure Autism Now” ought to be called “Eliminate Autistics Now”.
You can smell the storm before it starts to rain, But you go and check the weather channel anyway just to be sure.
You’re friends with the church secretary, but can’t recognize her when you run into her in the store.
You keep bumping into people but the only time you actually remember to apologize is when you bump into a tree.
You forget to eat or drink for a few days because you are working on an interesting project.
Someone wants to get past you and says “excuse me” and you reply “sure” without moving a bit.
Someone asks you for directions but because you can’t remember streetnames you reply with “second chewing gum machine right, then left at the yellow fence the dogs use as marker…”
You constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn’t on your mental agenda of things to do.
You spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there.
You clean up the house and later find you put the oranges in the shoeholder and the shoes in the fridge.
You are asked to write a short report and it gets over 10 pages long because otherwise you’d not fit all the important details in.
You are at a tour at a science museum and can’t help correcting your touring guide on matters of quantum mechanics.
You sit around trying to decide what to work on today, and by the time you are done deciding the day is over.
Someone tells you to “smile sometimes” and you reply “I’ll do it later.”
Your standard reply to any “when” questions is “In a moment” but your definition of a moment never agrees with anyone else.
You still remember poems you learned at school 25 years ago.
Someone tries to wash the dishes for you and you freak because your home is part of your personal space and you feel like they’ve touched you without asking.
As a child you didn’t comprehend the concept of lying or “teasing”. So if your older brother told you that clouds are floating rocks you believed him until you learnt otherwise in school.
You can’t stand kids but you spend inordinate amounts of time browsing through “Toys ‘R’ Us”.
You’ve ever re-enacted all the parts of a one-act play in the shower.
The words “Do you want fries with that” aggravate your PTSD.
You keep a couple of shoeboxes full of love letters you wrote but were scared to death of delivering.
Every couple of months you have a chuckle over the sword-on-the-table scene in “Get Smart” even though the last time you saw it was over 30 years ago.
You have to ransack your entire home a couple of times a week trying to find something you often need, and even though you usually don’t find what you’re looking for you find half a dozen useful other things you thought you’d lost.
You get your front door key out and ready to insert in the lock while still a minute’s walk from your house
You need to reinforce the foundations of your house to allow for the sheer tonnage of books you own and insist on keeping around, even though you remember everything in them.
You shop for new clothes once a year or less and only retire old ones when they are no longer providing enough coverage to avoid indecent exposure charges.
You own 7 sets of identical fleece trousers and soft cotton T-shirts.
You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago.
You hate having to talk on the phone and confine your conversational depth to ‘Yup’, ‘Nope’, and ‘Bye’.
You refer to what is supposedly your own species as “the humans”.
You shake your head and mutter “humans….” when you see some example of social behavior that you find unattractive.
The last time you moved house, you had 25 large boxes of books to every one smallish box of clothing.
It took you, your parents, a friend, and 4 movers 3 days to move all your stuff, and you were only moving out of a 2 bedroom apartment.
You don’t mind visitors signing their names in the dust on your furniture… but you’ll get pissed off if they add the date.
You’re the only person around who will decline an invite to a big party to stay at home to watch a TV show.
You wear jeans to the beach in the summer.
You can remember the exact date The Flintstones premiered (Oct. 1, 1960) and the name and production number of the first episode (P-1, “The Swimming Pool”) but completely forgot about the now-congealed casserole that’s been sitting in your microwave for three days.
You get really annoyed because you realize the first episode of “The Flintstones” to air on Oct. 1, 1960 was episode P-2, “The Flintstone Flyer” (it aired out of production order) but didn’t catch the mistake until you sent off the e-mail, and now you’re going to look like an idiot.

Countdown to arrival in the UK – 7 days…