Save the Wombats Lord, Kumbaya

What would we do baby, without us?

In an attempt to fill up the vast, rolling plains of airtime that have recently opened up with the onslaught of newly launched digital channels, the various TV networks have been pulling anything they can grab out of their archives, dusting it off, and throwing it on air willy nilly. As a result shows that haven’t seen the light of day in decades are now turning up randomly all over the TV schedule, often in back-to-back double episodes or in odd timeslots such as 5:00pm Monday to Wednesday, followed by 12:20pm Thursday, then 6:30am Saturday for the early risers. It’s historic TV madness!

One of these shows that has been dragged kicking and screaming off the shelf is that old standby Family Ties, the show that launched Michael J. Fox to stard0m and ensured that we’d never get to see Eric Stoltz drive a Delorean. Ah, the memories! The maddeningly catchy sha-la-la-la theme song! The curiously craggy face of Michael Gross! Ubu the dog with his frisbee! Good times…

But the thing that struck me most forcibly during a recent viewing was a scene that showed just how right L.P.Hartley was with his lunatic ramblings about shadowy umbrellas, hooded eyes and the past as a foreign country where they do things differently (and how!).

So, the titular family are sitting around in the kitchen when Alex (played by Marty McFly) gets a phone call from a girl. From the half of the conversation we hear it’s clear that this girl has managed to obtain tickets for some event. Once off the phone one of the parents (honestly I forget who, they’re pretty interchangeable) asks if said tickets are for Barry Manilow.

A joke of course – clueless parents totally out of touch with the music young people are into, assuming that Barry Manilow is somehow cool enough that their son would be clamouring for tickets. But no. No canned laughter rings out. The Manilow comment is passed over without comment, the actual joke is that the tickets Alex is so excited about are to a lecture by a famous economist.

The only logical conclusion is that in the early 80’s cool kids went to Barry Manilow concerts! Or at the very least TV scriptwriters thought that cool kids went to Barry Manilow concerts. Madness!!

Ancient TV aside, the old black dog has been stalking me quite efficiently recently, to the point that I’d very much like to spend my days curled up in a fetal position, weeping quietly under my bedsheets. Unfortunately it’s been too hot for that, so I’ve had to pull myself together and come into work instead. I’ve been doing my best to deal with it by subverting my angst into fantasies of extreme violence against everyone who has ever crossed me. This is startlingly effective but hardly qualifies as a long term treatment plan. I did manage to get my bike fixed however so I’ll try some needlessly aggressive bike riding instead and see how it goes.

That’s all for now folks!

Odd

Life After the Apocalypse with Power Armour and Demons and Tube Stations and Things

7 Mate (as Network 7 is insisting on calling it’s third channel) is promoting the series Life After People with that picture from Hellgate London.

You know, the one that curiously distorts the layout of the city to get the maximum number of devestated landmarks in?

With the game shut down and all I don’t know what the copyright status of the image is, but it seems like a strange choice. I mean the series is Life After People, not Life After the Apocalypse with Power Armour and Demons and Tube Stations and Things.

Odd.

Lindsey And Leon Go To A Roller Disco

In Lindsey And Leon Go To A Roller Disco (2010), the two main characters, Lindsey and Leon, go to a roller disco.

Observe the Wikipedia page for “roller disco“. Observe this…

In Lindsey And Leon Go To A Roller Disco (2010), the two main characters, Lindsey and Leon, go to a roller disco.

I so wish I could have found a reference to this on Google, but I couldn’t, so I had to remove it, damnit!

It may have been called “Adam 1985” or something…

Televisual Memories

Yes, yes, happy new arbitrary point in the earth’s orbit and all that. I have more important things to talk about. Like TV.

(If I were running things then the year would start/end at a solstice or equinox or something. You know, a date that means something. Hrumph.)

Anyway, I remembered a TV show the other day that I haven’t thought of for years. The trouble is I don’t know the name of it, and can only remember a few fragments of plot. This is driving me nuts so I thought I’d start off the new year by putting all the details I can remember about it up online, thus making it someone else’s problem.

It was a live action show. I have a vague suspicion that it was made somewhere in Europe, and dubbed into English – or at least it was filmed in English but in association with a French or Belgian or Dutch (or maybe German) TV network. The plot (insofar as I remember it) was that at some point in the future the world is threatened. You see, in the future everyone wanders around in white robes in a big white building, listening to a super intelligent computer – which appears to be nothing more than a large perspex cube. This computer predicts that some kind of cataclysm is going to occur – a comet, or a planet or an asteroid is going to collide with the earth. Oy gevalt!

Now, the super civilisation of the future is based around the discoveries of a brilliant scientist who was born in the 20th century. In his memoirs he mentioned that he once developed a formula that could be used to move a planet – exactly what the future people need to do to save the earth. But, the formula doesn’t appear anywhere in his papers. So the future people decide they need to travel back in time to the 1980s (when the scientist – about 12 years old at the time – says that he developed the formula) and get it off him – without disturbing the time line by walking up to him and saying “Hey! We’re from the future!”.

So a small team travels back to the 1980s and spends most of their time stumbling around, not actually achieving anything.

They do however (somehow) become involved with a local tramp, who wanders around whitling things. Right at the end of the series they rescue the tramp from being hit by a car (and for some reason) immediately need to return to the future without the formula. Because the tramp is supposed to be dead, they take him with them. Once back in the future they get all mournful about how the mission failed and they’re all going to die.

Meanwhile the tramp notices that the perspex cube supercomputer isn’t level, and quickly whittles a wedge to correct the situation. The computer then announces “Hey, guess what! I wasn’t on a level surface so my calculations were off, the comet/asteroid/planet is going to miss us, hooray!” and everyone lives happily ever after.

The series ends with the boy genius and his girlfriend sitting on a pier back in the 1980s. She asks him what he’s carving into the wood, and he tells her it’s a formula to move planets. THE END.

It was a very weird show – everything was very grey and grim. Lots of melancholy shots of salt marsh and things. I remember a couple of other scenes, one of the future people ransacking the kid’s house (which in the future is a scheduled monument of some kind), and a couple of the time travellers sitting around at a party noting that all of the songs the locals are singing are about love. But that’s it.

So, what the hell was I watching? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Happy new year y’all! πŸ˜€

Pun Unintentional

Talk about ideas that suck

So, they’re apparently making a Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.

Hmmm, didn’t they already do that? And it sucked?

(While we’re on the subject of awful Vampire movies, I meant to say a while back that I didn’t think there was any way to make the Twilight movies worse, but that the makers of Vampires Suck seemed to have somehow managed it.)

Micturition

You know it’s bad when the most authentic version featured Ted Danson…

Saw a preview for Jack Black’s version of Gulliver’s Travels this week. It’s kind of ironic that the only bit that looks authentic to the book is the one bit everyone would assume isn’t in the book.

(If you don’t get what I mean then go out and read it you phillistine!)

Renaissance of the Geek Underclass

The special extended edition.

Well, I’ve at least accomplished something sort of worthwhile with my week off, a complete rebuild of the Tales of the Geek Underclass. The old site was so badly laid out as to be almost completely unreadable, so I’ve revised it into something that doesn’t make me want to puke. I’ve also started work on revising the content, since some of the writing is as almost as embarrassing as the layout. I may even get some more tales written – stay tuned!

Went to the Dentist on Friday. They said that I might as well not bothered coming, my teeth are in such good shape. They couldn’t even find anything worth cleaning, although they did a clean anyway since I was there. Good to know at least one part of my body seems to work πŸ™‚

The midnight screening of Harry Potter was fun. There were a good number of people in costumes, and the movie was reasonably enjoyable. I’ve always had a problem with the Harry Potter movies in that on the one hand I know the books so well that I immediately notice all the bits they miss out and change, but on the other hand can mentally fill them back in, making the movie seem more complete than it actually is, so I’m an awful judge of whether a given HP movie is any good or not. But overall I had a good time, so that’s what counts.

(Why didn’t they have to say “I didn’t kill you” at Grimauld Place? Why didn’t Harry liberate Mad-Eye’s eye? Why didn’t Voldemort turn up at Godric’s Hollow? Why didn’t they put in more Tonks? Why don’t they ever put in more Tonks? I’ll shut up now :))

Back to work tomorrow. Bah.

Later: The link to the Tales was pointing to a file on my desktop. How does someone do that after 10 years as a web developer? I has an embarrassment! (it’s fixed now).

Go Terri- Go Terri- Go Terri-errrrrrrrrr

Aroomba! Aroomba! Aroomba! Aroomba! Aroomba! Aroomba! Aroomba! …. AROOMBA!!

Something I’ve been enjoying lately is Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town which is airing on Thursday nights on ABC2.

Kids in the Hall are of course the great Canadian comedy troupe of the 80’s and 90’s, featuring such luminaries as Dave Foley, Bruce McCulloch and Scott Thompson (oh hell, I’d better mention the other two lest I be accused of favouritism – Kevin McDonald and Mark McKinney, there, you happy?).Β  I was first turned on to their work by Stephanie, who was an online friend of mine who went off to college and suddenly became too cool to associate with foreign geeks πŸ˜›

While never a hardcore KitH fan I am quite fond of a lot of their sketch work. Phrases such as “they can all read my thoughts!” and “he’s clearly insane!” have wormed their way into my consciousness, and I know almost all the (non-French) words of the terrier song (I’ve even been known to perform it while critically bored, even including the “you are scantily clad and add nothing to the narrative” bit). So when I noticed “Kids in the Hall” on the TV schedule a few weeks back I made sure to tune in.

The first episode – well it wasn’t great. There was a lot of background to fill us in on, a whole bunch of characters to introduce and I was distracted trying to figure out who was who under all the makeup and prosthetics. Not to mention the fact that it takes a fair bit of mental reconditioning to witness Mark McKinney in a leather posing pouch without immediately switching off (and possibly burning) your TV. But I stuck with it and three episodes in I’m really enjoying the insanity of it all.

Much like the UK’s Psychoville it’s comedy of the grotesque (did I mention Mark McKinney in a leather posing pouch?) but with the Kids’ unique brand of surreality thrown in. I wouldn’t really recommend tuning in at this point – there’s a lot going on and you’ll probably be completely lost – but it’s certainly worth a look if you can obtain it on DVD or one of those torrent sites I keep hearing so much about. At least last night’s episode is up on ABC’sΒ  iView for Australian viewers, so that might be worth a look as well.

OK, that’s all I’ve got to say. But I hate to leave on that note, so here’s a song,

Terriers are my favourite, favourite breed!…

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