Wait – holding down the hash key silences my phone?!
Awesome!!
Joining the 21st Century, one Key at a Time…
Learn something new every day
Category: Life and Associated Annoyances
Monster – Part 2
Casting Wild Aspersions
I called up the electricians about my invisible smoke alarm. They were nice, reasonable and apologetic about it, and are sending out a revised invoice.
Damn. I’d worked myself up to do my best Victor Meldrew impersonation…
…Well there isn’t a smoke alarm! No smoke alarm has been installed! Unless it’s cunningly concealed inside the pile of discarded wires and brick dust your workmen so thoughtfully left in my kitchen…
…No! I don’t care what ‘Barry’ says! The words ‘smoke alarm’ at no point issued forth from his lips during the entire procedure! A large number of other quite unprofessional ones did, but ‘smoke alarm’ was not amongst them!…
…Well if ‘Barry’ or one of your other trained neandertals can be bothered to come down here and show me the smoke alarm he claims to have installed, I’ll happily pay your account. But until then you’re not getting a cent out of me!
(For the record the electricians – one of whom may or may not have been named Barry – were entire professional, and didn’t leave any mess to speak of. You’ve just got to exaggerate wildly and cast random aspersions if you want to channel old Victor).
Monster
Deeper and Down
REM have decided to break up, my dinner last night was tube pasta seasoned with the dust from the bottom of a parmesan cheese container, and I’ve been sent a bill for hundreds of dollars worth of electrical work that I’m fairly sure doesn’t exist (unless someone broke in and installed a smoke alarm where I can’t see it).
This is probably not going to be a good day…
Austerity
The new normal
Dinner last night – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches.
Breakfast this morning – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches.
Lunch today – Gherkin Dip and Sliced Ham sandwiches, brought from home.
Money spent so far today – $5.20 on a muffin and Red Bull, all in 50c pieces culled from my strategic silver change reserve.
Further Austerity Measures under Consideration
– Is it feasible to bake bread with a mixture of normal flour, self raising flour, milk powder and bread crumbs?
– Is raw vegetable stock a viable source of nutrients?
– Do I really need to buy deodorant?
Good Thing They’re Free…
Put the cloves and Tom Collins mix in a bowl…
I’ve been teaching myself to use a couple of open source programs lately. Hugin for image stitching, and Scribus for desktop publishing.
Scribus is a pain. This is not because it’s a bad program, it’s because Desktop Publishing is a pain. You’ve got to worry about margins and gutters and fonts and all kinds of crazy stuff that gets automatically handled in a word processor. This is the price you pay for being able to do much cooler things layout and publishing-wise.
It’s a steep learning curve, but Scribus is proving to be really flexible. Once I get the hang of it I should be able to pump out professional looking PDFs from here to the wazoo, and actually launch that games publishing empire I’ve been planning for years…
(Yeah, let’s see if that happens… :))
Hugin is a lot of fun. Take a bunch of photos, load them into Hugin, and it stitches them all together. It can do a lot more than that of course, but I’m still just learning. You can check out some resulting gigantic panoramas of the semi-demolished Entertainment Centre in my Flickr stream.
On another subject it’s good that these programs are open source – and hence free – as after a triple hit from Council Rates, Strata Fees and Water Bills my bank balance is looking really ill. I’m having to go on a crash austerity drive for the next few weeks, which will no doubt result in more meals of bread crusts, pearled barley and soy sauce. But hey, it could be worse, at least I’m not eating pie crusts, cloves and Tom Collins Mix 🙂
I Has a Monitor!
48 hours without the net. How did I manage it?
My new 24 inch LED monitor has been courier delivered to the office. Assuming that nothing goes wrong between now and when I get home, I am back in the 21st century! Hooray!
I also picked up some new speakers to replace the rather old and decrepit ones that have served my last three computers. Nothing special, but they do have a rather frightening looking sub-woofer. Not sure where I’ll put it.
Ah! Technological bliss!
On that subject I’m thinking of formatting my Asus Eee and installing Linux on it before I head off on my cruise in the new year. It’s not powerful enough to handle Windows 7 in any useful way, and I don’t like the idea of wandering around parts foreign running XP. I’ll only be using it to write, to store photos and to access the net when nothing with a bigger screen is available, so Linux should serve all my needs admirably. I’ll need to do some research…
Forciable Detox
My monitor has forsaken me!
Well, my home computer’s monitor has finally crapped out on me.
It’s been dying for a while. The power button hasn’t worked for about six months, and for the last few months it’s been refusing to wake up once it goes into sleep mode. I’ve been dealing with both problems by rigging up a monitor extension lead so I can directly cut and restore power without getting out of my chair, which has been serving to wake it up again. But yesterday morning nothing I did could get an image to appear. Dang.
Apparently the thing that most often goes bye-bye on Viewsonic monitors is the capacitors. These can be replaced, but unless you’re willing to do the work yourself the cost for parts and labour is generally about that of an entirely new monitor. So I guess I have some shopping to do.
On the plus side, this enforced break from using my home computer (I don’t have a spare monitor, so I can’t do squat) will serve as a nice detox from Fallout: New Vegas, which I’ve recently got back into and have been playing way too much. I’m getting seriously tetris-affected – I saw an agave plant in a garden over the weekend and had a sudden urge to harvest it. Not good. Not good at all 🙂
(As long as I don’t start seeing people’s body parts highlighted I should be OK though :))
Over and out.
Da Guv’na
They see him rollin’, they hatin’
Was crossing the road outside the office today when a most curious vehicle went past. It had a miniature West Australian flag flying from the bonnet, and the number plates were polished silver (well, probably aluminium) with big, chunky, 3D silver crowns in the middle.
A small amount of research later it appears that it was the car of His Excellency Mr Malcolm McCusker AO QC, 33rd Governor of Western Australia.
I don’t think he was actually in said vehicle as I only saw a driver and no passengers and I don’t imagine the Governor drives himself. I suppose he could have been ducking down in the back, but it does seem unlikely.
So that’s my excitement for the week!
Phone Games
Phone numbers. How do they work?
Saturday Morning. My mobile rings from an unknown number…
Me: Hello?
Caller (very weak, wavering, high pitched and slow voice): You told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Wuh? Uh… I’m, sorry but you seem to have the wrong number…
Caller: Oh. But you told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you. You have the wrong number.
Caller: So you can’t pick up my old television set?
Me: No, I’m sorry but…
Caller: But you told me to call this number to have my old television set picked up…
Me: Well, I’m sorry but you’ve called the wrong…
Caller: So you won’t pick up my old television set?
Me: No, I’m sorry…
Caller: So who should I speak to to have my old television set picked up?
Me: I’m sorry! You have the wrong number! I’m just a person sitting at home! I’m not a moving company or a charity! You have the wrong number!
Caller: Oh……….. I have the wrong number?
Me: Yes!
Caller: Oh…… I’m sorry.
Me: That’s OK.
Caller: Oh. Goodbye… for now… (hangs up)
Me: For NOW??
Strapped for Cash
Quinoa and beans
I’m a bit strapped for cash at the moment. Not seriously so, just enough to be careful with what I’m spending until I move a bit further into the black. As such I haven’t been doing any grocery shopping and have instead been eating through everything in the fridge and pantry first. I’m pretty much down to the dregs now – my dinner tonight consisted of a steamed carrot, a baked potato and a tin of baked beans mixed with quinoa. Surprisingly enjoyable actually.
Breakfast options tomorrow are limited to more quinoa, cream of mushroom soup, barley, or another steamed carrot. Hmmmm.
Went to a quiz night on Friday at East Fremantle oval. Our table ended up coming second out of about thirty-five, which isn’t too bad – well, apart from the fact that there were no second prizes. Justin helped himself to some of the fancy water bottles in retaliation.
That’s all I’ve got say 🙂
