Disordered Thoughts and Curmudgeonly Ramblings
The weather was nice yesterday and I needed some exercise so I decided to go for a walk.
My initial plan was to get the train to Success Hill and walk home along the river. Then I decided I didn’t have time for that, so I’d get the bus to Bindaring Park and walk along the river from there. Easy!
So that’s what I did – and staggered in half-dead three hours later having somehow not realised I was setting myself up for a trek of almost 9km.
Better than sitting around the house though I guess.
Hit by an APPALLING case of the runs Friday afternoon.
Glanced today at the tin of old fashioned ‘Fruit Drops’ I bought and ate half of on Friday morning because I have zero self control.
Oh, son of a…
Presenter: Has anyone heard of dopamine? Yes? A few of you. Dopamine is the pleasure chemical, and the thing about SMS messages is that every time you get one it gives you a little hit of dopamine!
Me, autistic and flooded with cortisol at even the THOUGHT of getting an SMS: Ok…
Presenter: So here’s what happens when you fill out a restaurant reservation using our AI system *fills out form*
SMS: Hi Presenter! Thanks for your reservation! We’re looking forwards to seeing you at 6:00 on Thursday. While we talking, would you like us to have a drink waiting for you when you arrive?
Presenter: So you see, you instantly get a response, and that generates that vital hit of dopamine which immediately begins building engagement!
Me: I just want my booking confirmed…?
Presenter: *types* That sounds great. Can I get a glass of Chianti?
SMS: No problem! A glass of Chianti will be waiting for you. Or if you prefer we can reserve the entire bottle for only $12. Would you also like an appetiser? You can view our appetiser menu at *link*.
Presenter: So you see with every interaction you’re generating more dopamine and making a connection with the customer.
Me: This is a nightmare.
Presenter: *types* I’d like some oysters and a garlic bread. Also, one of my friends is gluten free, what do you have for them?
SMS: We’ll have some oysters and garlic bread ready when you arrive! Our menu has a selection of gluten free dishes, have a look at it here *link*. Or our chef can prepare something specially, like a selection of braised vegetables. How does that sound?
Presenter: Now our aim is to get at least seven interactions via SMS, because our research shows that when you get to seven interactions the customer is fully engaged with your product.
Me: If I got seven SMSs from a restaurant I would die. I would literally die.
Presenter: *types* That’s wonderful. Thank you very much!
SMS: No need for thanks, we just want to make sure we give you the best dining experience possible! Would you prefer to be seated indoors or in our al fresco section?
Me: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
I was in the mood for a quiet pub lunch yesterday. Unfortunately I’d forgotten it was Grand Final day. Suffice to say I did not get my quiet pub lunch.
Rather than try my luck today I switched on the TV around noon and stumbled over Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. I remembered this as being legendarily awful so naturally decided to watch.
I was actually pleasantly surprised. It’s an 80s superhero film so it’s cheesy as hell, but it was actually very entertaining. What I did notice though is that it went completely to hell in the last 20 minutes. Nuclear Man sees Mariel Hemingway on the front page of the Daily Planet, heads downtown, is confronted by Superman – who somehow seems to know why he’s there – kidnaps Mariel (who can apparently breathe in space?), has a fight with Superman, Superman wins, movie over. It’s like there were a bunch of scenes missing – although given the movie’s perilous budget they were probably never shot in the first place.
Also on the subject of questionable 80’s movies I found myself sitting at a bus stop on Friday evening thinking about how much better *Ghostbusters II* could have been. I’ll see about writing my ideas up later this week.
On Monday September 16th 2024 at approximately 5:20pm I was a passenger on a number 41 bus from Elizabeth Quay bus station to Bayswater railway station. I was seated on the right hand side of the bus, in the fifth seat from the back (which is my habitual seat). The bus was relatively full, but there were a number of seats vacant, and no one was sitting next to me.
From behind me I heard a male voice say “Give me your bag”. The voice was insistent, but the volume was low – I initially thought it was someone not wanting to be overheard while speaking into a phone. “Give me your bag” and/or “Give me your fucking bag” were repeated two or three times total, followed by “Give me your bag or I’ll punch you”, which made me realise that it was unlikely to be someone talking on a phone.
This was followed by the sounds of a brief scuffle, including a yelp in a female voice, and an individual in a camouflage pattern hoodie (Individual 1) passed my seat at speed, carrying a woman’s handbag. He was followed by a young man in a baseball cap (Individual 2). Both men reached the rear door of the bus, where they were confronted by several other passengers, at least one woman (not the bag’s owner) loudly demanding that they give the bag back.
I do not recall exactly when the bus stopped in relation to these events, but by this point it was stationary at the Lord St After Bulwer St stop. Individual 2 grabbed the window-smashing hammer from above the door, I believe in an attempt to operate the emergency exit release. By now I had risen to my feet and was taking photographs with my phone.
The rear door of the bus then opened and the two individuals fled, running northeast along Lord Street and turning left onto either Windsor or Lincoln Streets.
A young woman (who I believe to have been accompanying the owner of the bag) made an attempt to follow the two individuals, but was dissuaded by other passengers on the basis that she would be putting herself at risk of violence. There was a fair amount of discussion between the passengers, the driver and another Transport employee who was present having been riding in the front seat to the left of the driver. I informed this employee that I had a clear photograph of Individual 2, but he indicated that the camera at the front of the bus would have captured both of them.
It was around this point that individual 2 appeared back around the corner, carrying the bag. He approached the bus, holding the bag out, placed it on the curb about 30 metres from the bus, then fled back around the corner. A passenger retrieved the bag and bought it back to the bus, where the owner checked it an confirmed that nothing seemed to be missing.
I obtained the mobile number of the bag’s owner and SMSed her the one photograph that clearly captured the face of Individual 2. She and her friend then left the bus, and the driver continued on the route.
I took a total of four photographs, one of which clearly shows the face of Individual 2, and shows him (I believe) attempting to operate the emergency exit button on the door.
The Chihuahua dogs got me! Which is to say that my very first effort to do some maintenance and upgrades has resulted in the Wyrmlog being inaccessible for large chunks of the last few days.
That particular problem has been dealt with. Please expect more problems to follow.
Got a migraine late on Sunday night so emailed work to say I’d be late in the morning, took a big handful of pills, switched off my alarm and went to bed.
As a result I ended up on the 10:07 Fremantle train from Perth and was privileged to witness a most impressive performance by a young man slapping out a beat on his legs while loudly snarling out rhymes in a very credible metal voice.
“…GIVING HEAD! GIVING HEAD! WANKING OFF THE MIDNIGHT DEAD! EVIL! EVIL! LAND OF MISERY!…”
Let’s face it, that’s better than anything released by Metallica in decades!
Friday Morning: It’s my day off! Three day weekend! I’m gonna get so much done! Starting with that COVID booster I’ve been putting off!
Friday Afternoon: Hmm, I’m feeling a bit sleepy. A nap couldn’t hurt!
Saturday Morning: Yep, I really should have remembered how COVID boosters affect me when planning my awesome weekend…
Building a device to filter the isopropyl alcohol I use for stripping paint from models, and reinforcing some joins with string and superglue.
Remember that cyanoacrylate reacts exothermically with cotton!
Reason that nothing has happened so far, so presumably the cheap string I’m using doesn’t contain cotton.
Shrug and continue.
Five minutes later, smoke starts seeping from the joins.
“Oh, son of a…”
Call me autistic, but it’s kind of weird to consider that not only may your own friends think about things in ways wildly differently to how you think about them, but that they may not realise just how different your viewpoints are.
Some years ago a good friend of mine breathlessly informed me that a woman we both knew was apparently extremely keen to sleep with me. I did not find the woman in question particularly attractive – not least because of her cigarette habit – so replied that I might consider said activity if she quit smoking.
My friend reacted as if I’d suddenly sprouted two extra heads and started singing the Whiffenpoof Song in Spanish. He was genuinely, mouth-hanging-open stunned. It was as if the concept of someone voluntarily turning down an opportunity for sex was completely alien to his thinking and understanding of the world. He shook his head back and forth uttering a confused series of ‘no’s and ‘but’s, and once he gained control of himself kept glancing at me as if I was some kind of Lovecraftian horror in the form of a human being.
So yeah. The way you think about the world is not the way everyone things about the world.
(Either that or my standards are too high…)
