No Sex Please, We’re Different

Call me autistic, but it’s kind of weird to consider that not only may your own friends think about things in ways wildly differently to how you think about them, but that they may not realise just how different your viewpoints are.

Some years ago a good friend of mine breathlessly informed me that a woman we both knew was apparently extremely keen to sleep with me. I did not find the woman in question particularly attractive – not least because of her cigarette habit – so replied that I might consider said activity if she quit smoking.

My friend reacted as if I’d suddenly sprouted two extra heads and started singing the Whiffenpoof Song in Spanish. He was genuinely, mouth-hanging-open stunned. It was as if the concept of someone voluntarily turning down an opportunity for sex was completely alien to his thinking and understanding of the world. He shook his head back and forth uttering a confused series of ‘no’s and ‘but’s, and once he gained control of himself kept glancing at me as if I was some kind of Lovecraftian horror in the form of a human being.

So yeah. The way you think about the world is not the way everyone things about the world.

(Either that or my standards are too high…)

The Importance of Data

I’m not who you think I am.

You know, I’m not as smart as people think I am.

I mean, yeah, I’m smart. I can say without too much unjustified arrogance that I’m a lot smarter than the average Joe on the street. But the thing is I come off as being far smarter than I actually am, because I have a vast amount of readily available data to draw on.

I’m knowledgeable. I’m really knowledgeable. This is one of the advantages that having a differently structured brain gives you. Sure, an autistic brain is retarded (I use the phrase in it’s literal sense of ‘held back’, so don’t be getting all up in my grill ‘kay?) socially, but it’s fantastic at storing and quickly retrieving ridiculous amounts of information. I absorb information like a sponge, and can usually pull it up for processing with a moment’s notice. Combine this with a merely higher than average IQ and it comes out looking positively phenomenal.

Trust me, I’m not really as smart as you think. Look at maths for instance. I can’t do maths in my head at all, I just don’t have the working memory for it. Give me a pen and pad to act as an external buffer and I can crunch numbers until the cows come home, but ask me to add two three digit numbers in my head (what’s 528 plus 234?), and I really struggle – I just can’t hold all the number combinations in my brain at the same time.

And time. I have very little sense of time. I caught up with Fabes over the weekend and he pointed out that it’s been six months since we last spoke. I would guessed it was one and a half, maybe two months tops. That’s just stupid ๐Ÿ™‚

So yeah, don’t overestimate my intelligence folks. I don’t have a terribly fast processor, and very limited RAM – my fast System Bus and massive hard drive just make it seem like I do ๐Ÿ™‚

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