When something is wrong with my baby, then something is wrong with me

Computer Woes

My computer decided to die yesterday πŸ™

Because there were supposed to be thunderstorms (which never arrived) I unplugged it from the wall before going out yesterday morning. I got back home aorund 2:00, and plugged it back in, intending to do some work on my Wild Southwest campaign setting. It booted really, really slowly. So I tried rebooting several times – no change. I had a look at the BIOS settings, reasoning that the battery might have died – they all seemed fine. Finally I took the case off, cleaned out the dust, and had a good look around to make sure nothing was loose – nothing was.

So then I started it up again. The memory check froze halfway through. I rebooted. The memory check froze a quarter of the way through. I tried again, and absolutely nothing happened. I just got a cursor blinking in the corner of the screen, which is how it remained on every subsequent boot until I finally gave up πŸ™

So, no emails, no working on my many projects, no looking up stuff on Wikipedia when I get bored. Honestly, it’s like losing a limb πŸ™

The good news is (I hope) it seems like a memory/CPU problem. The hard drives should be fine, so I won’t have lost any data. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Now I’ve just got to find time to take it into a shop and get it fixed, which probably won’t be possible until the weekend at the earliest. I don’t know how I’ll survive!

So if you don’t get any emails from me for a while, you know the reason.

DO NOT WANT! πŸ™

Merry Mayhem

Buses and roundabouts, men, boats and dogs.

My arrival at work today was somewhat delayed by a rather entertaining incident taking place at the junction of Hampden Road and Monash Avenue. Here the casual traveler will find a small roundabout (or as the Americans would have it a “traffic circle”), although this morning our traveler would find – in addition to the roundabout – one of those double length buses with a concertina section in the middle to allow it to go around corners.

What made the presence of this bus entertaining is that the driver – possibly new and unfamiliar with this particular intersection – had taken his bus around the roundabout at completely the wrong angle, resulting in said bus’s rather large and elaborate arrangement of wing mirrors getting tangled up with one of the signposts announcing the presence of said roundabout to other motorists.

He couldn’t go forward without tearing off his impressive collection of mirrors and probably taking down the signpost. He couldn’t go back because his bus was already bent around the roundabout at a rather extreme angle, and reversing could well rip the concertina section apart. He was trapped – trapped with such remarkable efficiency that it seems incredible it could have occurred without forward planning and careful maneuvering.

The driver of my own bus got out to lend a hand, but after a few minutes of poking at the mirrors, poking at the sign, and standing around scratching his head he had no choice but to get back into his bus and continue along his route (by this point many of his passengers had got out and started walking in frustration). And inevitably, just as we got underway no less than five more buses turned up, one after the other, all seeking to go around the roundabout – a feat just possible (under the current trying circumstances) for a normal bus, but not for the two – normally extremely rare – double length concertina buses among their number.

We left them to sort it out on their own πŸ™‚

Feeling somewhat more lively today – when I got home on Wednesday night I felt so wretched that I proclaimed “Liver detox be damned!” and ate properly for 24 hours. I’m back on the program today, but at least don’t feel like lying down and dying. I figure three days on, one day off is better than no detox at all, and if the naturopath doesn’t like it, too bad!

I’ve also just finished reading Three Men in a Boat (brilliantly funny by the way), which I’ve been meaning to do for years. This probably – along with the fact that I’ve only had Turbo Boost Detox Powder for breakfast – accounts for the rather odd literary style of today’s entry πŸ™‚

Back to work!

Pre-tox De-tox Re-tox

Yaaarrr matey! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day ye scurvy dogs! Yaaarrrr…. Oh I give up,…

Yaaarrr matey! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day ye scurvy dogs! Yaaarrrr…. Oh I give up, I can’t do this at the moment.

For reasons far too tedious to explain I’m in the middle of a liver detox program. For the uninitiated this consists of avoiding everything that’s in the least bit tasty to eat for two weeks, avoiding all caffeine, and replacing breakfast each day with “Thermo Boost Detox” powder in soy-milk.

So essentially I’m in hell.

The biggest problem I’m facing is that I’m not allowed to eat gluten, meaning that grain based products are totally out of the question. This presents a major challenge because (what with my hypoglycemia) I should only eat low GI foods – which basically means grains. If you really want a fun time, go down to your local supermarket and try to find low GI, gluten free foods. It’s almost impossible. About the best you can do is specially processed (and rather expensive) rice. So not only am I starving and half asleep from caffeine deprivation, but my blood sugar is all over the place.

And don’t get me started on the “Thermo Boost Detox” powder. Do you remember that scene in one of the Austin Powers movies where Austin mistakes Fat Bastard’s faeces sample for coffee? Enough said.

I don’t think I’m going to last the full two weeks. I might see if I can make it to Saturday, and then throw the whole thing in. If I could do it without my blood sugar spiking up and down and making me feel like death, then I might stick with it – but it’s just too unbearable. Especially since there’s so much on at work at the moment, and I feel like sleeping for half the day.

Anyway, enough about me and on to some good news. As of this weekend my good friends Rebecca and Dom are the proud parents of baby boy named Jakob Zachary (I think that’s the correct spelling :). I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with the directly yet, but I believe all three are happy and well. So congratulations guys! πŸ˜€

Anyway, better get back to work… Arrrr!

Breeding Ignorance and Feeding Radiation

TV related rantings

Well it turns out my speculation about Channel 9’s excrable iCaught the other day was right. And then wrong. Apparently they decided to take it off air in favour of Two and Half Men, but then flip-flopped and decided to give it another chance. I can’t imagine why.

Also we can’t blame Channel 9 for it entirely, apparently it’s an American show with a bit of Australian content cut in to try and make it relevant. Yeah, good luck.

The fundamental problem with the show is that there’s no audience for it. Net savvy people won’t tune in because they can just jump onto Youtube and watch the content whenever they want to – and anything really good the producers could possibly show will have already been seen by them anyway. The rest of the population won’t want to watch it, because it comes off of that porn and virus ridden interweb thing that’s full of hackers and peadophiles – not to mention that Youtube videos don’t look very good on a television screen.

In fact I’d go as far to say that the only people who’d ever watch such a program would be fat Americans needing their daily audio visual fix. “Quick ma! That there iCatch telee-vision show’s awn!”. As long as their TVs provide a constant stream of noise and images to keep their brains from firing up, they don’t care what garbage they watch.

Oh, and it looks like Channel 10 may not axe Big Brother – they’re going to sell it to Channel 7 instead. Fine by me – the last thing I watched on 7 was midday repeats of All Saints during my weeks off. Prior to that I haven’t watched 7 since they moved Stargate: Atlantis to 3:08am every second Thursday.  If they want to go all BB crazy, then let them – as far as I stand out of sight means out of mind!

Finally Some Good News

Huzzah!

Good News Item 1: Gangster (or should that be ‘Gangsta’? I’m not really ‘down’ with the way the ‘hip’ young people talk nowdays) Rapper 50 Cent has stated that he’ll quit music if Kanye West’s new album outsells his. After only two days Kanye West’s Graduation is 200,000 units ahead. He’ll probably weasel out of it, but still – Huzzah!

Good News Item 2: Channel 10 has admitted that after several years of plumeting ratings and sordidly dull scandals it’s considering axing Big Brother. Of course it’ll probably be replaced by something just as vacuous, but nonetheless – Huzzah!

Good News Item 3: Channel 9’s attempt to hook in the hip, young, internet savy generation with their new “lets rip footage off YouTube and put it on TV to save money on real content” show iCaught was a miserable failure, with ratings worse that Yasmin’s Getting Married. It probably won’t even make it to a second episode. Huzzah!

There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others! πŸ˜€

Foolish Ideas

A compendium of foolish concepts

Some foolish ideas that occured to me this week…

1) A five minute, weekly summary of Neighbours animated in the style (and tone) of South Park

Goin’ down to Ramsey Street, gonna have myself a time!
Friendly faces everywhere, Doctor Karl and Harold Bishop…

2) A production of Shakespeare’s Tempest, with Caliban costumed as Spongebob Squarepants.

3) Rewriting The Battle Hymn ofthe Republic to fit the tune of I am Australian. All you only needis an extra line on the end of each verse and a few extra “glories” inthe chorus…

4) A set of small flags (based on the International Marine Signal Code) to be placed on one’s workplace computer monitor to inform colleagues of one’s activities and intentions. The blue peter for “I’m about to go home” for instance or the yellow ensign for “I have a cold – keep clear”.

These ideas may be foolish, but they’re mine. Hands off! πŸ˜€

Let’s Go Post Apocalyptic New York

We’ll need a boat, camping supplies, guns, abseiling equipment…

Just another quick note, pointing out that Mondolithic Studios have done some totally (if you’ll pardon my French) kick-arse illustrations for Scientific American depicting what would happen to New York City if humanity suddenly vanished. Pure nectar for apocalypse junkies like myself, and great desktop image material (the ruins of the Brooklyn Bridge are on my work computer right now).

Check out some of their other graphical work while you’re there too. It’s great stuff.

In other tidings of comfort and joy one of my favourite podcasts is back online after a two month or so hiatus – Dragon’s Landing (yey!). They quite messed me (and a lot of other people) around on Sunday by linking to episode 82 rather than the new epsiode 83, but they’ve got themselves together now and I’m looking forwards to an enjoyable evening of gaming goodness once I get home.

Not Dead, Resting

One step beyond!!

OK, this is just a quick note to say that I’m not actually dead.

I had two weeks off work which I spent relaxing, overdosing on Gilmore Girls DVDs and not worrying about blogging, and then came back to work and spent two weeks of madness catching up after my two weeks off work, and then another week of madness because my colleague Bevan was getting married last Saturday, and is taking five weeks off for his honeymoon. So the madness and only sporadic blogging will probably continue for quite a while yet.

On the upside though I basically have ABSOLUTE POWER in the office whenever Dale isn’t here – which is most of the time nowdays because he’s doing a lot of work from home – and am looking forwards to enjoying that absolute corruption everyone is always talking about πŸ˜€

But before I fall subject to megalomania and attempt to take over the world I thought I’d post a link to The Chemical Brother’s new video clip – well I say new because I only saw it on the weekend, the song and presumably the clip have been around for quite some time. Anyway it’s called The Salmon Dance and is pretty damn cool, both the song and the clip. So, get out there and shake your body like a salmon floating upstream!

PS: Helen, expect a reply – and ideas about Richard III – soon πŸ™‚

Geekery Squared

This what happens when you read The Deathly Hallows in one sitting…

As I was lying awake last night – trying to sleep despite the cold virus doing it’s best to kill me or at least make me severely miserable – a fairly crazy idea entered my head. And, being me, I decided to pick it up and run with it, just to see where it would lead me. Where it led me was to a fairly insane combination of Games Workshop’s Lord of the Rings Strategy Game (yes, we’re back to that again!) and Harry Potter (I said it was crazy didn’t I? :).

You see, a lot of people quite like the rules system used by the LOTR game, and several adaptions for different settings have been made. There’s one for the Old West (produced by Games Workshop themselves), a Napoleonic Wars version (which in a nice touch provides stats for Sean ‘Boromir’ Bean’s Sharpe), and WWII and Vietnam versions. So why not a Wizarding version too?

No sooner had this thought entered my addled brain than rules and ideas started to pop up. So I thought I’d better get them out of my head as soon as possible πŸ™‚

OK, to start with all Wizards are Heroes, and all should start with at least 2 points of Will. Every Wizard also needs a wand – without a wand, a model can’t cast spells of any kind. In addition a wand gives the bearer 1 free point of Will per turn, pretty much in the same way as a Wizard’s Staff in the standard rules.

Now, casting. As far as these rules are concerned there are two types of spells – Charms and Curses. Charms are non-offensive spells cast on or around oneself, or on one’s allies. Examples include Lumos, Accio or Episkey. Curses are offensive spells cast against an enemy, such as Expelliarmus, Tarantallegra or Avada Kedavra. Curses and Charms are handled in different ways under the rules.

Charms are cast as normal magic spells using the standard rules. The one major change however is that each Wizard weilding a wand gets 1 dice free per turn (that is without spending Will) to spend on a Charm. Will can of course be spent to add extra dice to this Charm, or to cast additional Charms (there is no limit on how many Charms can be cast per turn).

Curses are treated as missile attacks, and take place in the Shoot Phase. It costs 1 Will to cast a Curse, and additional will can be expended to strengthen it (as described below). Whether the attack hits or not is calculated as normal, using the model’s Shooting value. The range for Curses is 12″/28cm, each model may only cast one Curse per turn, and no movement limits apply for models intending to Curse.

If the curse hits, then consult the Wounds Chart. The Strength of the Curse is the Courage of the caster, plus any additional Will they expended to strengthen it. The Wound Roll is then made, and if it succeeds the target suffers the effects of the Curse.

A model targeted by a Curse may attempt to cast a Counter Curse – that is throw a Curse of their own at their attacker. To do this costs 1 point of Will. Both players roll against their Shooting value. If one succeeds and one fails, then only the successful player rolls on the Wounds Chart. If both succeeded, then only the player that rolled the higher number rolls on the Wounds Chart. If both succeeded and both rolled the same number, the Curses collide in mid air and cancel each other out. A model may cast as many Counter Curses as they have will points to spend on them.

So that’s the basics of the system. Of course it needs playtesting, and the various spells need writing up, but I think it should work fairly well. An example is probably in order, so let’s look at the example of an Auror facing off against a Death Eater – probably at some point during The Half Blood Prince.

The evil player has the initiative, and at the start of the Shoot phase the Death Eater casts Stupefy at the Auror. His Shooting value is 3+ and his Courage is 4. He elects to throw the extra point of will from his wand into the Curse. The Auror spends a point of Will to cast a Counter Curse – Petrificus Totalus. His Shooting value is 3+ and his Courage is 5. Both players roll the dice. The evil player rolls 4, sucessfully casting the Curse, and the good player rolls 2, failing to produce the Counter Curse.

Consulting the Wound Chart shows that the evil player must roll 4 or more for the Curse to take effect (Courage of 4 plus 1 point of Will versus the Auror’s Defence of 5). He rolls a 3, and the Curse fails.

The good player elects not to cast a Curse, and the round ends.

In the next round the evil player retains initiative. At the start of the Move phase the Death Eater uses his free Charm dice to cast Engorgio on himself, which will increase his Strength and Movement. The standard magic rules are used, and he fails to cast. He immediately uses his wand’s free point of Will to attempt the Charm again. This time he succeeds, and gains 2 points of Strength, and an extra 4″/10cm of movement – however his Defence against missile attacks and Curses drops by 1 because he’s a much larger target. The evil player uses the Death Eater’s full movement to move him into partial cover behind some bushes, out of range of the Auror’s Curses.

At the start of the good Move Phase the Auror uses his free Charm dice to cast Wingardium Leviosa on himself, succeeding and flying 5″/12cm across the battlefield towards the Death Eater. He then uses his full move to get within Curse range, taking partial cover behind a tree.

At the start of the evil Shoot Phase the Death Eater uses one point of his personal Will to cast Crucio at the Auror. The Auror elects not to cast a Counter Curse, trusting in the tree to provide protection. As the Auror is behind cover, an “in the way” roll must be made, which the evil player fails – the curse explodes harmlessly on the tree.

At the start of the good Shoot Phase the Auror casts Petrificus Totalus at the Death Eater. The Death Eater uses his last point of personal Will to cast a Counter Curse, the shield charm Protego (which has a number of special rules). The Auror makes an “in the way” roll for the Death Eater’s cover and succeeds, his curse speeding through the bushes unhindered (Protego doesn’t require an “in the way” roll). Both players roll against their Shooting value of 3+, the Auror rolls 6, the Death Eater 4.

Normally this would mean the Auror’s Curse hits, while the Death Eater’s doesn’t, however Protego‘s special rules state that as long as the spell is cast, it gives +2 Defence to the caster, even if it would normally be beaten by another Curse. The Wound  Chart is consulted – for the Curse to have an effect the good player must roll 5 or higher (Auror’s Courage of 5 verses the Death Eater’s Defence of 5, minus 1 for Engorgio, plus 2 for Protego). The good player rolls a 6, and the Death Eater is frozen in place, unable to move or take action for two rounds.

So yeah, that’s how it works. If that can be said to work at all. Enjoy! πŸ™‚

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