Pigeon Girl

Fly, fly, pigeon girl, my beautiful pigeon girl,
When I see you flying,
I think about the birds in the sky,
But you’re better than them ’cause you’re pigeon,
And pigeon has much nicer eye,

You’re Maltese,
Just like me,
And like Nathan Buck-a-ley,
And you’re also like that other Maltese person,
Darren Gauci,
He might win the Caulfield Cup,
But I don’t mind,
Because,
All in all for me,
You are my pigeon girl,

Fly, fly, pigeon girl,
Fly for me?

Bye-Bye,

This – I hesitate to call it a ‘song’ – was submitted as a theme for the Pigeon Racing segment on Triple J’s breakfast show in the early 2000s, despite the fact that the Triple J breakfast show did not have (and never has had) a pigeon racing segment. It has lived rent free in my head ever since.

A Random Selection of Truly Excellent Lyrics

I drive ’round cities in a chariot,
I get preferential treatment at the Marriott
,
— “Record Collection” Mark Ronson and the Business Intl

The New South Wales right have cocks like mastodons
— “Dicktatorship”, TISM

Now you’re the only one here who can tell me if it’s true,
That you love me, and I love me,

— “Kiss me, Son of God”, They Might be Giants

I don’t think there are any Russians,
And there ain’t no Yanks,
Just corporate criminals,
Playin’ with tanks,

— “The Walls Came Down”, The Call

You see the ANZAC legend neglected to mention,
The mud, the fear, the blood, the tears, the tension,
Dad’s recollection, beyond comprehension,
Didn’t seem quite real until we were sent in,

— “I was only 19”, The Herd

Überheblich, überlegen,
Übernehmen, übergeben,
Überraschen, überfallen,
Deutschland, Deutschland über allen,

— “Deutschland”, Rammstein

Music was a product, now it is a service,
Major record labels, why you trying to hurt us?

— “Download this Song”, MC Lars

I volunteered for the Army on my birthday,
They draft the white trash first round here anyway,
— “Copperhead Road”, Steve Earl

There is no horizon I cannot set my eyes on,
— “The Ocean”, Lemon Demon

God bless the people in New York when they were attacked,
God bless the children being bombed there in Iraq,
God bless the goddamn junkie with a monkey on his back,
God bless everybody under the sun,

— “Something’s Gotta Give”, John Butler Trio

Watching for signs in an empty sky,
We never thought that the rain would fall as the years went by,

— “Children of the Sky”, Mike Batt

Scatman, fat man, black and white and brown man,
Tell me ’bout the color of your soul,

— “Scatman’s World”, Scatman John

I met my bebop baby at the Union Hall,
She could dance all night and shake the paint off the walls,

— “And we Danced”, the Hooters

Tonight,
The sky above us,
Dark and wondrous,
How could you be unsure?
— “Wild Surf”, Ash

Favourite Music of the Primarchs

Art by Johannes Helgeson

Lion El’jonson
Primarch II
Fulgrim
Perturabo
The Khan
Leman Russ
Rogal Dorn
Konrad Curze
Sanguinius
Ferrus Manus
Primarch XI
Angron
Roboute Guilliman
Mortarion
Magnus the Red
Horus Lupercal
Lorgar Aurelian
Vulcan
Corvus Corax
Alpharius and Omegon
The Emperor

And a list, for when the YouTube links inevitably break…

  • Lion El’Jonson: Tocatta – Tanzwut
  • Fulgrim: German Sparkle Party – The Something Experience
  • Purturabo: Last Resort – Pappa Roach
  • The Khan: Dchingus Khan – Dchingus Khan
  • Leman Russ: Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran
  • Rogal Dorn: We Built this City – Starship
  • Konrad Curze: Behind the Mask Obscure – Limbonic Art
  • Sanguinius: Send me an Angel – Real Life
  • Ferrus Manus: Lucretia, My Reflection – The Sisters of Mercy
  • Angron: Down With the Sickness – Disturbed
  • Roboute Guilliman: Brandenburg Concerto No. 1 in F – Johan Sebastian Bach
  • Mortarion: Touch Me, I’m Sick – Mudhoney
  • Magnus the Red: Abracadabra – Steve Miller Band
  • Horus Lupercal: Dies Irae – Giuseppe Verdi
  • Lorgar Aurelian: Dies Irae – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • Vulcan: Anvil Chorus – Giuseppe Verdi
  • Corvus Corax: Tanzwut – Corvus Corax
  • Alpharius Omegon: Hello Goodbye – The Beatles
  • The Emperor: It’s Hard to Be Humble – Mac Davis

(We can observe an obvious correlation between baldness and preference for classical music)

Dizzy

I’ve been MIA for the last couple of days while caught up in the throes of white hot creative obsession on a project that (based on my history with these kind of things) will likely never see the light of day. But such is the lot of the autist, and at least it’s keeping me entertained and out of trouble.

Anyway, after a solid twelve hours of sitting in a chair and pounding out code I got up to go to bed and was hit with a sudden bout of dizziness which almost toppled me to the ground. As I regained my balance (a quick and easy feat due to decades of living with a dodgy ankle that has a tendency to suddenly go on strike without notice) I thought to myself “I’m so dizzy!” and a memory that has been lost in the depths of my mind for a good twenty years abruptly raced to the surface.

Said memory was of a song. A song called Dizzy from my high school days in the early 90s. I immediately recalled the tune and 90% of the lyrics, although for the life of me I couldn’t remember who recorded it. I also remembered that I was kind of obsessed with it, and – that based on the version dragged from my memory banks – being obsessed with it was rather embarrassing because it really wasn’t that good.

So off I went to bed humming the tune, and trying to remember the second half of the second verse – something about “you’ve got control of me” and needing to find a doctor?

So first thing this morning I hopped online to look it up, and discovered three things…

  1. It was by Vic Reeves and the Wonder Stuff – of course it was!
  2. It’s actually a much better song that I remembered, so there’s no need to be embarrassed about liking it
  3. Wait! Vic Reeves?

Yes! The guy who regularly turns up on Eight Out of Ten Cats does Countdown and famously formed a comedy due with the other guy who regularly turns up on Eight Out of Ten Cats does Countdown and who with said guy and the lovely Emilia Fox starred in the remake of Randal and Hopkirk Deceased! That Vic Reeves!

So, my mind is rather blown. One could almost say that my head is spinning…

Anyway, here is the song.

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