Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

by Purple Wyrm on April 20, 2012

I fell over yesterday.

The reason that I see this as being at all blogworthy is that I almost never fall over. I trip over things with depressing regularity, but my sense of balance is so good and my reflexes so sharp that recovering equilibrium before hitting the floor is pretty much a given. It’s been almost ten years since I last thumped into the ground, so tripping over my own feet on the walk home from the train station last night is quite notable.

The reason for this remarkable record is – somewhat paradoxically – the fact that my ankles are rather sub-par in the whole “keep the rest of the body upright” department. As the result of an old injury they have a tendency to occasionally go on strike without warning, sending me plummeting groundwards while walking, running, or just standing around discussing Wittgenstein. This constant threat has honed my reflexes to the point where I can instantly recover my balance in all but the most dire of circumstances (the last time I fell was because I was in a room packed with junk and there was no room to maneuver).

Last night my left ankle collapsed so catastrophically that all my efforts to recover proved inadequate. I went down (somehow) on my right side, thudding into the concrete pavement, skinning both my palms and lightly bruising my arm and leg. I did however manage to roll into the fall, with the result that when the dust cleared I was sitting neatly upright and able to exclaim a loud “CRAP!” before getting up, dusting myself down and continuing on my way.

Of all the days to fall, yesterday was a good choice. Autumn has finally rolled in and the day was nice and cool. As a consequence I had got my heavy, wool coat out of storage for the first time this year and it absorbed a lot of the impact. Had I not been wearing this most excellent accessory I’m confident I would have scrapped quite a lot of skin off my right arm and been in substantial pain. As it happens I’m just aching a bit, which is easily dealt with.

So, let’s see if I can go another ten years without going arse over feet again 🙂

Some final commentary courtesy of The Drowning Pool and America’s favourite Televangelist Benny Hinn

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